Should I say something?

I think I would have said something about putting some clothes on the child too unless it was really warm outside.grannies usually have more common sense

I think it's normal for you, as a gran, to worry about and care for your grandchildren. However, unless there is actual harm or abuse going on, your input is unlikely to be well received.

Why wouldn't the child have been re - dressed ? All depends on the outdoor temperature , if very warm /muggy then fine , if chilly put clothes on , we wouldn't be out in only our pants , would we so why would a child be exposed to the elements in this way , makes no sense to me !

It’s not the fact he had a cold which would bother me. I agree, fresh air is very important, and yes, there’s a great deal of advantage to being outside generally. It’s the fact he’s only 13 months old. How safe is the garden? Was he being watched? Too much flesh exposed is bound to increase his vulnerability.
In our garden for example, we have foxes, mosquitoes. It’s big, so many places to hide, and on a hill. A nightmare in many ways.
I suppose by the time you get to 13 months, you’ve got a pretty good idea of how your children are with their children, and maybe shouldn’t have been a surprise. I would never normally advocate getting involved, but in this case, I’d want to double check.
I can’t imagine any of my children doing this to be honest.

I would never dream of poking my nose in.
They are the parents at the end of the day.
We as grandparents keep our noses out and mouths shut even if we do not agree with how/what they let the chidren do.

Crikey , reading these replies made me quite sad. Are we not "allowed" to state what is very often common sense, frim experience we have etc etc. My own mum woukd not mince her wirds and quite rightly. Its as though you are afraid of upsetting your own offspring which is very wrong. Very very sad times we live in.

Especially if they attend a nursery or other childcare, babies and young children often pick up one cold after the other - my Gdcs certainly did.

But unless they were clearly unwell I don’t think it would ever have entered dd’s head to keep them indoors, certainly not in summer - even in a damp and disappointing one.

As for no clothes, in summer, my Gds (just 5), still enjoys racketing around the garden starkers, and the younger Gdd (19 months is still often in the garden in just a nappy, or even without one.
I often wonder if they’re cold and could do with a jumper but TBH they’re all so active that they rarely seem to feel it, even when I am feeling chilly.

I remember when we were younger we were ALWAYS outside (except when it was absolutely chucking it down obviously) and the Covid situation has highlighted how important being outside is!!

Dear Edge.

Absolutely say nothing. I think whilst you worry about your grandchildren, you have to remember that of course parents will worry about their own children and will make decisions within their best interests.

Maybe take a look at the Wim Hof Method, and current thinking around how cold effects the immune system.

Best wishes

He said oh he'll be ok, so bit my tongue and said you're his parent

So you didn't bite your tongue. You said something passive aggressive, and then went to his wife to get the response you wanted.

You need to stop doing that.

My MIL was horrified when she was introduced to her 3 week old grandson and he wasn’t wearing a knitted hat, jacket and booties.
This was in the Caribbean and the temperature early morning was 30C.

I discovered with the positive result to my daughter's pregnancy test? that I was on an unexpected crash course in eggshell walking. It's so difficult when our experience through many years of parenting, and shared knowledge of friends in the same boat, we have to bite our tongues and keep quiet. I really sympathise.
I'm one of the fresh air lobby, (farm-reared, so to be expected) but only if the child is well enough otherwise. But I can see you've had your grandchild's best interests at heart. One of my friends is a retired Health Visitor and says it is so tough leaving her professional hat back at home.
Keeping advice for the big issues, with immense care and diplomacy, seems to be the best/safest option.
All the best.

It's so hard holding back isn't it?!
I'm a first time nan of a 6 month old and try so hard to keep relaxed about the way baby's being cared for even though some of it is questionable!
I will only voice my opinion if its a health or safety issue.....eg: when I found baby in cot with a huge pillow and crying ! I warned them about suffocation ,then found out it was put in again during the night.Apparently it calms baby down.
I look after baby and never have to use anything to get to sleep,just gentle stroking on chest...asleep within minutes.
Also told him that if he doesn't want to take advice from me then either talk to health visitor or read nhs guidelines. I feel uncomfortable mentioning anything to them but I also have to think of babys safety.

I look after my young grandchildren regularly and have them for overnight sleepovers. I love them to bits, know them really well and see them all the time. I have the full support of my children and 9 times put of 10 if I say "it's chilly, let's put some clothes on", they wholeheartedly agree or if the grandchildren need reminding of their manners or their behaviour. My grandchildren listen to me and do as they're told. It all comes from a place of love and concern. From the posts on here, I'm incredibly lucky to have such a positive influence on my children and grandchildren and involvement in their lives. I'm definitely considered to be "in loco parentis".

It takes a village to bring up a child and thankfully we all have very similar values and standards. We just want the very best for our families.

Shelflife; absolutely agree.

I agree with Nightsky2 I also find it incredible that some parents have to be so careful what they say to their children; though I do realise it does depends on the relationship you have. My children know that if I say anything to them it's with good intentions - and vice versa; they know I value their opinions and none of us takes offence if advice is offered (and believe me, their advice is offered quite often!). I hate confrontation and am the furthest from an over-bearing mother that you could find; I have a lovely very easygoing relationship with both my sons and my lovely DIL . As for the OP, no worries from me that the little one was playing out in just a nappy, so long as it was not cold outside; however if it was cold, I would have said to my son 'oh it's a bit parky out there shall I get him a t-shirt?" If my son had said that the child was fine as he was I would leave it there, and would certainly not then have a word with my DIL. However, if I was really concerned, I would probably go outside and feel the child and if he was stone cold I would have told my son 'FGS put a t shirt on him!'

You are not old fashioned it's the way most of us grew up my childhood never was stuck inside playing video games I loved to be outside but alas times have changed and some of it not for the better unfortunately. I still reminisce over my childhood never spoilt just had enough to make me feel good.

Dear Edge

I would do just the same as you (apart from asking twice). In this particular scenario the child was probably fine outside half-naked and you were overly-concerned, but on another issue you might be right to be concerned - and should say so. I don't go along with all these perfect grandparents who say nothing - I would speak up, and be prepared to be wrong. And less than perfect. If indeed you were. Who knows? Grandparents are allowed to have "old-fashioned" ideas, and god bless them for it.

Remember my Greek mil worried when I had baby in bouncy chair with kitchen windows and door open! It was about 25C. But she believed the breeze would harm him. Just said he’s English, it’s fine! She was also freezing in early morning Britain. Despite hot weather. Different thoughts for different cultures and generations.

Op said the nappy was changed so presumably replaced with another one! No bare bottoms then!

Once again thank you all for your comments and advice. Being on gransnet can be so helpful and being able share with all you other Grans. x

I don't see what is so wrong about mentioning it. The OP looks after the children so surely she can make a comment about something that concerns her (provided she is not always questioning what the parents do)?

Generally, I think children are better off in the fresh air but it isn't just about being in the fresh air is it, it's about having not even light clothes on. Surely grandparents (especially grandparents who undertake significant child care) aren't just neutral bystanders who have to "zip it" at all costs?

If his top half was clothed and a fresh nappy on the bottom half, he was clothed. Playing about in the fresh air will do no harm to him. He was back home with his parents who between them, decide what is best for their child. You will be stirring trouble ahead if you continue to play one parent off the other which is what you did and undermined your son to boot!

I would always tell my son or my DIL if something was bothering me. They are very easygoing and would interpret my grumble as loving concern. They know how much I care about my GC. Whether they agree with me or not is another matter. Lol.
Surely in a loving family, views can be aired freely.
As for the outside issue - depends how bad they feel. Most kids will snuggle up on the settee or with Mum or Dad if they feel really, really poorly.

Completely agree Nightsky2.