Am I being too hard?

kids are mollied a lot more these days I think, my grandsons 17 months if he hurts himself I just say up you get your fine now, but as you say dad makes a meal of it

DerbyshireLass

sazz1

I fell running to school in the snow. Limped home as my ankle was swelling. Told to put it up with a cold compress on
Next day sent to school still limping. Years later after an x-ray when I fell down the stairs I was told I had 3 historic breaks in that ankle. Just the way it was years ago.
Don't interfere with your son's methods of dealing with things.

I think this is very common.....

My eldest son walked around on a broken ankle (football injury) for a couple of days. He was in his 20s at the time, living away from home, so his responsibility to get proper treatment, not mine. He has a high pain threshold and it simply hadn't occurred to him he had broken the ankle.

I only discovered I'd broken a toe when I went for a routine chiropodist appt. I too have a high pain threshold, stubbed my toe on a coffee table leg and just assumed it was bruised.

We have 27 hand and wrist bones, and 26 foot and ankle bones. Many of them are very small obviously and can be broken very easily. It can be very hard to detect if they are broken or fractured, so for that reason continued pain in the feet, ankles, hands and wrists shouldn't really be ignored. If it doesn't settle after a few days it really needs investigation.

Going back to the original post. It is very common for people to extend their arms when falling to try and break the fall. It is an automatic reflex action.

(Stunt men don't do this, they are trained to do a controlled roll into the fall, so as not to risk broken arms and legs).

Problem with extending the arm to brace against the impact of a fall is that the hand and wrist then take the full brunt and that's when hand and wrist bones get broken, fractured or at best, badly bruised. .

Not saying the Ops GS has broken his wrist but if he did put his arm out and land on his hand, the impact of the fall to his wrist would have been quite considerable. At best it would have been very sore, probably for several days, so not surprising he didnt want to risk further injury playing rugby the next day.

I think both the father and the grandson acted sensibly, both in the immediate DIY first aid treatment and in the aftercare next day. I don't they should be accused of over reacting or that the boy was being mollycoddled. I think the father was just doing right by his son, a bit of basic first aid and pain relief, followed by a bit of judicious caution next day.

It isn't really for anyone else to judge someone else's ability to tolerate pain levels because we all cope with pain differently. . We all have different tolerance levels. Some people can be floored with pain that another person would hardly notice.

I know my two sons are like this......one hardly feels pain, the other doesn't cope very well at all. Nothing to do with how they were brought up. It seems to be genetic, at least it's something I have noticed in our family.

My mother couldn't tolerate pain, my father had a very high pain threshold, nothing seemed to affect him. . I seem to have inherited my fathers high pain threshold as did my eldest son, my youngest son inherited his grandmothers low pain threshold.

It's a balancing act. We don't want to mollycoddle our children and turn them into wimps, totally risk averse and too scared to live and but at the same time we don't want them to suffer unnecessarily or risk long term complications because we didn't perform triage.

To accuse someone of being a wimp because they have a low pain threshold strikes me as being unnecessarily cruel.

I think it's grossly unfair that there are those who lump all our young people together as snowflakes and wimps. Some of our youngsters are stronger than others, both mentally and physically, the same as their parents and grandparents.

And thank goodness mental health issues are no longer a taboo subject.

Yes, good points.

Sorry for typos

Re the gymnast that dropped out of the games for “mentall health” reasons, it has been said that she suffered a mental block while twisting which could have resulted in a very dangerous fall. Mental Heath is a large umbrella

pattieb
Listen to a childs reaction following a fall. Unlike an adult who might say' I'm ok' children will let you know when in pain without being asked..

I think for minor falls etc the child will look to the parent to see how to react. Parent runs to.them.looking worried and the child cries, parent takes no notice at all (as in my case) and the child just carries on regardless.

That bone count is each foot and hand.

sazz1

I fell running to school in the snow. Limped home as my ankle was swelling. Told to put it up with a cold compress on
Next day sent to school still limping. Years later after an x-ray when I fell down the stairs I was told I had 3 historic breaks in that ankle. Just the way it was years ago.
Don't interfere with your son's methods of dealing with things.

I think this is very common.....

My eldest son walked around on a broken ankle (football injury) for a couple of days. He was in his 20s at the time, living away from home, so his responsibility to get proper treatment, not mine. He has a high pain threshold and it simply hadn't occurred to him he had broken the ankle.

I only discovered I'd broken a toe when I went for a routine chiropodist appt. I too have a high pain threshold, stubbed my toe on a coffee table leg and just assumed it was bruised.

We have 27 hand and wrist bones, and 26 foot and ankle bones. Many of them are very small obviously and can be broken very easily. It can be very hard to detect if they are broken or fractured, so for that reason continued pain in the feet, ankles, hands and wrists shouldn't really be ignored. If it doesn't settle after a few days it really needs investigation.

Going back to the original post. It is very common for people to extend their arms when falling to try and break the fall. It is an automatic reflex action.

(Stunt men don't do this, they are trained to do a controlled roll into the fall, so as not to risk broken arms and legs).

Problem with extending the arm to brace against the impact of a fall is that the hand and wrist then take the full brunt and that's when hand and wrist bones get broken, fractured or at best, badly bruised. .

Not saying the Ops GS has broken his wrist but if he did put his arm out and land on his hand, the impact of the fall to his wrist would have been quite considerable. At best it would have been very sore, probably for several days, so not surprising he didnt want to risk further injury playing rugby the next day.

I think both the father and the grandson acted sensibly, both in the immediate DIY first aid treatment and in the aftercare next day. I don't they should be accused of over reacting or that the boy was being mollycoddled. I think the father was just doing right by his son, a bit of basic first aid and pain relief, followed by a bit of judicious caution next day.

It isn't really for anyone else to judge someone else's ability to tolerate pain levels because we all cope with pain differently. . We all have different tolerance levels. Some people can be floored with pain that another person would hardly notice.

I know my two sons are like this......one hardly feels pain, the other doesn't cope very well at all. Nothing to do with how they were brought up. It seems to be genetic, at least it's something I have noticed in our family.

My mother couldn't tolerate pain, my father had a very high pain threshold, nothing seemed to affect him. . I seem to have inherited my fathers high pain threshold as did my eldest son, my youngest son inherited his grandmothers low pain threshold.

It's a balancing act. We don't want to mollycoddle our children and turn them into wimps, totally risk averse and too scared to live and but at the same time we don't want them to suffer unnecessarily or risk long term complications because we didn't perform triage.

To accuse someone of being a wimp because they have a low pain threshold strikes me as being unnecessarily cruel.

I think it's grossly unfair that there are those who lump all our young people together as snowflakes and wimps. Some of our youngsters are stronger than others, both mentally and physically, the same as their parents and grandparents.

And thank goodness mental health issues are no longer a taboo subject.

Atqui

I’m pleased your son is not from the “man up” camp,agreeing with the minority of posts from empaths, however I think painkillers migh be counterintuitive as I’d want to know if the pain continued

I agree.

I think some of these stories show how it can be dangerous to say ‘Just carry on.’

Only if limb couldn't move, had a cut that obviously needed stitching or a fair size swelling from bump on the head would I be looking to consider a bit of pampering needed.
Children are pampered generally nowadays. Watch some of the A & E programmes and you see the kind of stuff take their children to hospital for, grazed knees, cut fingers, bash on the nose from a stumble. And they complain about waiting!

Counselling for a vaccination?!
Unbelievable isn’t it?
And now we have a number of athletes pulling out of the Olympics to protect their mental health!
I can understand the odd one maybe struggling with the pressure but there have been several of them ducking out for the same reason.

I fell running to school in the snow. Limped home as my ankle was swelling. Told to put it up with a cold compress on
Next day sent to school still limping. Years later after an x-ray when I fell down the stairs I was told I had 3 historic breaks in that ankle. Just the way it was years ago.
Don't interfere with your son's methods of dealing with things.

I’m pleased your son is not from the “man up” camp,agreeing with the minority of posts from empaths, however I think painkillers migh be counterintuitive as I’d want to know if the pain continued

I think I'm quite hard. My younger daughter would agree. When she was 5 she came home from school complaining of tummy pain. She didn't eat much lunch and I sent her back to school. I felt a little guilty and took the car to pick her up at 3 pm. Her tummy was still sore and I felt I needed to have a look. I phoned the doctor and she was rushed to hospital where they told me her Appendix was extremely inflamed and she needed emergency surgery. She has never let me forget that incident.

Cleaning if cut, yes, but painkillers?!?!?

When I was younger (am 60 now) used to get all sorts of cuts, scrapes and bruises. Parents just told me to get on with it unless I was really bleeding and then a plaster was produced.
A lot of parents moddlecoddle their kids nowadays...always driving them to school even as teenagers etc. How are they supposed to be street smart ?

Today my husband asked a friend who volunteers at a vaccination centre why were the youngsters not turning up to be vaccinated. ‘Because the majority are scared of the needle. We have set aside a room for them to be counselled before having the jab’ was his reply!!!!

Soozikinzi

My dad died in half term when I was 6 in the 60s and I still remember the look on the teachers face when we were in the school on the Monday. But what would be the point of us moping around at home ? Another of the dust down and get on with it gang here !

Similar here. My father died when I was 7, 5 days before Christnas which also happened to be his birthday. His funeral was held on my sister's birthday. We lived in a tied house and 6 weeks after his death we moved 100 miles away to be near relatives. The day after the move we all went to our new schools. No counselling, just get on with it. All of us have done well and reasonably Sane!

I, too, am generally in the "get up and dust yourself down" and "mind over matter" brigade. A certain amount of stoicism is good for all of us. When we were little, if we fell over, my dad would comfort us and get us to look at where we had fallen down to look at the hole we had made. I did this with my own children and others. When I had a lot of problems with my ear, my dad was very sympathetic but would joke with me that it was a shame it was my ear rather than a tooth as a tooth could be pulled out and we could hardly chop off my ear. It really helped.
When my own children were having their pre-school vaccinations, they asked me if it would hurt. I replied that it was best to look away and they might feel a little prick but that they were a big boy/girl and would not make a fuss. They didn't make a sound. I think there is a lot to be said for mind over matter but also the right level of sympathy. Hopefully, we get the right balance.

I fell on a side which was gravel next to a pavement whilst roller skating aged 8or9(1957approx)Told my mum went to doctor who said nothing in it .A few weeks later still said there was something in it back to doctor and he put local anaesthetic in it but didn’t wait for it to work screamed the doctors surgery down and 1Large lump of gravel removed

pattieb I expected my kids to get on up, have a kiss, rinse etc depending on age and severity and get back to the activity if possible.

I think that children have so many things they can do these days that they become too choosy. They don’t ever seem to commit to anything, or look forward to doing anything. I’m always surprised that children say they are bored, when there are a 101 things they can do.

Definitely would not have given painkillers, would have checked him out and let him get on with playing after telling hime to be a bit more careful next time.

I’m in the ‘you’ll be fine, carry on’ camp. When my DD was eleven, we’d gone to the seaside for a day out with my nieces, she slipped and twisted her ankle, I encouraged her to walk on it all day as it wasn’t swollen at all. Because it still hurt later that evening I grudgingly took her to A&E to find out she’d broken a bone in her foot. ? When she fell downstairs and had an obviously displaced fracture of her wrist I did take her straight away!

My upbringing was straight from the "you'll be ok" book of child rearing!