Am I being too hard?

When my daughter tipped down the last couple of steps on our stairs aged 11, as we had some library books placed in a small pile my husband told her to stop moaning, for 2 days later she said still painful so I took her to A+E and the X-Ray revealed a hairline fracture + she was plastered up + put in sling. My husband was so apologetic. But am sure this is A simple case of getup + continue with things..

I don't think you're being too hard. It's not that your GS might have needed a bandage or painkillers, it's that your son 'helicoptered' in, without asking the GS how he felt, was he ok?, did it hurt much? I was just playing football in the garden with my 3-year-old gs and accidentally kicked the ball into his face. He did a double blink and carried on.

I’m sure that for the vast majority of us, our parents raised us the best way they knew how, consistent with social norms at the time. We parents raised our children the best we could, knowing what we knew then. I”m sure our sons and daughters are, for the most part, raising our grandchildren the best way as they see it. I am depressed by the judgemental attitudes towards modern parents and their values that I read here,

And my friend said he couldn't even face his sausage roll, which was his favourite packed lunch food.

I wonder what social services now would make of the following school trip.
A coach full of children, on a trip to London, and agog at the traffic, noise and hubbub.

My friend who is about 9 at this time (late 1960s) is on the coach, and sees a man on a bike lose his balance and fall under the coach wheels (head first)

As all of the children start to notice, the teacher claps his hands and sings "One man went to mow! Went to mow a meadow...." and makes them all join in.
It was never spoken about at all.

"I think kids today are far too mollycoddled. I remember as a child if I cried I got a crack and told they would give me something to cry about. Kids need a good stint of toughening up."

Hmmm! Not a solution!

Hithere is right!

No it would be the same with a girl.

Would warrant

Many of these examples how tougher you were in the past would warranty a call to child's services for neglect

songstress60

I think kids today are far too mollycoddled. I remember as a child if I cried I got a crack and told they would give me something to cry about. Kids need a good stint of toughening up.

Yes because violence and being uncaring always solves everything

onlyruth

Some of the stories in this thread are awful. I'm very glad we live in different times now. How anyone could think that a child should go to school ten minutes after hearing that her father had died, I don't know. It's hardly something that should be held up as character-forming.

My story was not meant to be an example of 'character forming'. Quite the contrary!!!! You have completely missed the point.

PS Reading my post of 13.00, it sounds as if my ex hurt DS deliberately. He just failed to notice that the child was in pain.

DS1 was a toddler - not quite 3 - when he had been 'playing' with his dad while I was out shopping. I was told that he had a sore arm because he had 'bumped' it, and thought no more of it. He was an uncomplaining child. However, I took him to the GP for another problem and asked her to have a look at his arm. She told me to take him right away to the children's hospital where he had an x-ray that showed a fracture. I felt awful, but not as awful as I made my then husband feel! The said child is now 50 and broke a leg twice as a teenager. He never whinged - ever!

As a child (in the 50's) I broke my arm twice and was sent to school very swiftly once the arm was strapped up (the first time in a sling UNDER my clothes/next to my skin!) and the 2nd time in a plaster cast. I then proceeded to bite off the end of my tongue after falling in the back yard...............I actually got some sympathy there :-) ice cream was prescribed by the doctor and he actually gave me 3d (yes, 3d....about 1-2 pence in decimal) for being very brave when he stitched it back on :-) Years later......My daughter attended school with stomach pains as I was about to go to a function that night and I didn't believe her (she had a history of crying wolf :-)) so when she was sent home I didn't believe her but called the doc............yep.........appendicitis. !........in surgery at midnight :-/ She now has children of her own, our gorgeous grandchildren and they (& we) all bear the scrapes and scratches and stitches and scars of normal childhood without too much drama I'm pleased to say:-) ... way too soft today

Its for the parents to parent as they wish just we did with our children . Every generation has its own ideas so let them get on with it . Kids seem way better adjusted & communicative than in our day .

songstress60

I think kids today are far too mollycoddled. I remember as a child if I cried I got a crack and told they would give me something to cry about. Kids need a good stint of toughening up.

That's very sad. I'm sorry that you were punished for feeling sad or hurt.

From this thread
Children are coddled means better standard of medical care

I am so glad for it

I agree that today's children are more mollycoddled - eg any child with measles will be admitted straight off these days, whereas we all had it and nearly all were nursed at home when I was growing up.(Horrible complications, thank goodness for MMR). I think it's probably no bad thing, I'm sure just occasionally a minor-seeming injury is in fact more serious, and being "over careful" could prevent life-changing consequences. It does make you wonder, though, if it is leading to more young people with health anxiety. Agree, parenting never was easy.

My husband also volunteers at a vax centre
There is a place available for anyone who is afraid or has a bad reaction to the injection,
for everyone, not only the young
Don't let us stigmatise them please

I have to confess I'm a bit needlephobic. I don't need counselling but I do have to look away and mentally go to my "happy place". And sometimes I do tremble a bit and have to make a conscious effort to remain still so they can do what they have to do. The person vaccinating me alway senses that I'm nervous and they praise me for being "very brave". ?.

I'm 70, have had countless jabs in my life, blood tests etc. You'd think I would be quite sanguine by now but I still get butterflies.

I don't think anyone in their right mind really likes being jabbed or having bloods taken.

Sunnysideup

Today my husband asked a friend who volunteers at a vaccination centre why were the youngsters not turning up to be vaccinated. ‘Because the majority are scared of the needle. We have set aside a room for them to be counselled before having the jab’ was his reply!!!!

I volunteer at a vaccination centre. We have had various people turn up who want to have the vaccine but are terrified for some reason (needle phobia, anxiety, whatever - it's none of my business why). Our vaccinators always find as much time as these people need, and talk to them without persuading them one way or another. Just letting them talk about their fears, and explaining and reassuring.

All the people that I've seen need this 'counselling' have been 50+

My 14 year old grandson was always more fussed over when injured.... he’s a little soft I suppose but not excessively! But my 9 year old granddaughter is as tough as a rusty nail... just passed her first MMA tests and got her first coloured belt. Also beat an 11 year old boy in the final fight! Also a ‘Freerunner’ and absolutely fearless.... I call it second child syndrome.parents just Didn’t have time to fuss over her. I myself was last of six kids... again we were all tough as nails....still are! Nobody ever ‘kissed it better’ for us!

DerbyshireLass. yes. yes.
a beautiful county, and beautiful words. thank you.

I was an "Oops-a-daisy, up you get, rub it better and off you go" kind of mum, at least for everyday falls, grazes, knocks and bumps. My mum thought I was very hard on our boys! Anything that bled a lot, swelled too much or made them feel unwell was a different matter and warranted more sympathy and concern. I don't fuss over our GC either, but they're nearly all pretty tough cookies anyway.

One of our DILs makes an unnecessary fuss (I think) over every little bump or fall with their boys - lots of close examinations and cuddles - which only seem to make them cry even more! The youngest two have changed nursery and childminder three times because another child or an adult has spoken harshly to them. They need to learn to cope with raised voices and criticism or rudeness from other children. The world is not a friendly place, even when you're only three!

Regarding bereavement, I was 10 when my dad died. Mum told me about it, I was allowed a few tears and then I was packed off to school as usual with a note for my teacher. She was very kind and told two girls to stay with me at lunchtime. I was fine once I started my lessons. Someone asked why I wasn't really upset, I remember saying 'Tears won't bring him back'. I was more upset when Mum wouldn't let me go to the funeral, even though my younger brother attended.

I do wonder if today's parents worry about injuries being misinterpreted if a child is taken to A&E, or will they be criticised for letting he accident happen in the first place.

Parenting is never easy for every generation.

I think kids today are far too mollycoddled. I remember as a child if I cried I got a crack and told they would give me something to cry about. Kids need a good stint of toughening up.