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Grandparenting

Grandson hates baths

(46 Posts)
Treetops05 Tue 17-Aug-21 13:23:47

Our wonderful GS has recently decided aged 19 months that he hates baths. He screams blue murder and is so emotional that he struggles to breathe afterwards.

We tried going backwards into a baby bath, visiting us and having one here, paddling pool and flannel, and blanket bath...but he screams through the lot. His hair really needs washing too...

Does anyone have an idea please? We could use the help, my daughter is worried, as is her partner, but I am now our older generation, as my gran and Mum are both gone and her partner has no family.

MerylStreep Sat 28-Aug-21 08:40:41

wetflannel

I would give him a good strip wash everyday and gradually reintroduce bath time when he is more relaxed. As for mucky hair I suggest rubbing over his hair with a wet flannel for now. It's probably a phase and will pass, better not to traumatise the lad.

A 19 month old doesn’t need a good strip wash every day.
Our immune system works hard to produce everything our skin needs to protect it and keep us healthy.
This mania with bathing babies and toddlers is doing more harm than good.

Lizzy60 Sat 28-Aug-21 08:19:11

Think back to when this started & see if there was something that happened to trigger his behaviour . Don't make an issue of the problem , just work round it !

wetflannel Thu 19-Aug-21 16:59:32

I would give him a good strip wash everyday and gradually reintroduce bath time when he is more relaxed. As for mucky hair I suggest rubbing over his hair with a wet flannel for now. It's probably a phase and will pass, better not to traumatise the lad.

MamaB247 Thu 19-Aug-21 11:11:12

Get him a pair of wellies and a Mac. Then turn shower on warm low tempteture and tell him your going to play muddy puddles. Add vosene shampoo to the water to make it "muddy" and find pepper pig books about middy puddles. Read them to him as he is doing it. But add you own bit "Peppa and George let the rain wash over their heads" etc. To coax him into making it fun

welbeck Thu 19-Aug-21 02:02:35

yes i was thinking of something like Grandamaz' idea.
perhaps an action man type figure, something durable and wipeable.
in hosps when children go for surgery they wake up in the recovery room with a bandaged teddy bear in their bed, which they are encouraged to look after.
it works well to distract from their own discomfort and anxiety.

CarrieAnn Wed 18-Aug-21 19:07:44

My younger son hated having a bath from the day he was born. As I was very ill after he was born he was used by the nurses to demonstrate bathing to,the other mums.It took months to get him to accept baths,we started in a washing up bowl,followed by the bowl in the sink,sink by itself,baby bath, baby bath in the bath,then the bath.Very long and drawn out but we got there in the end.He turned out to be a champion swimmer.

justwokeup Wed 18-Aug-21 18:54:06

I bathed DC2 wrapped in a towel in her baby bath, only way to stop her sobbing. I like the idea of playing with a dolly bath though.

Grandmabatty Wed 18-Aug-21 18:45:09

I can understand why your daughter is worrying but he's too small to be able to tell you why he is scared. I would keep going with using flannels and avoid the bathroom/shower etc completely. Poor wee mite. Just keep wiping him down. It's clear you've tried everything and nothing is working. You can revisit the bath in a few months. Fingers crossed he grows out of it soon.

Silvertwigs Wed 18-Aug-21 18:43:20

Made me think of my granddaughter when she was new! We all thought she was allergic to water! Shes nearly 19 now and has 2 showers a day!

Elegran Wed 18-Aug-21 17:08:40

He is only 19 months, Coastalgran I think he would probably be even more afraid of being under a thundering waterfall than of being placed gently into a bath. He isn't old enough to try washing himself either.

coastalgran Wed 18-Aug-21 15:54:58

Stick him in the shower and just help him when he needs it. Does it matter how he gets clean.

Gabrielle56 Wed 18-Aug-21 15:49:18

grandmaz

Do you think that giving him a little doll
which he could bath in a washing up bowl might help? Perhaps letting him help to put some warm water in the bowl then undress the doll and wash it with ‘bubbles’ and a flannel before getting it out and drying it might give you a clue as to what it is that’s bothering him. I’ve not tried this and may be talking through my hat, but I think if it were my little DGC I’d be tempted to give it a go. Good luck, I hope that the little chap soon gets over his fears.

Super ideas and such a gentle fun approach. Making a game of it may well help little fella! At least he'll have very clean play chums.

Gabrielle56 Wed 18-Aug-21 15:46:52

My younger Ds was and and detested any sort of paddling pool or swimming-until he was about 7 then- oh wow! Swimming /diving/flumes-you name it ! Now he swims like a dolphin and his kids love water too but also after a bit of hydrophobic tantrums in infancy. I always thought his almost fear of water a bit of a safety issue in his favour? Nature's way of stopping dangerous curiosity?

grandmaz Wed 18-Aug-21 15:31:21

Do you think that giving him a little doll
which he could bath in a washing up bowl might help? Perhaps letting him help to put some warm water in the bowl then undress the doll and wash it with ‘bubbles’ and a flannel before getting it out and drying it might give you a clue as to what it is that’s bothering him. I’ve not tried this and may be talking through my hat, but I think if it were my little DGC I’d be tempted to give it a go. Good luck, I hope that the little chap soon gets over his fears.

f77ms Wed 18-Aug-21 15:01:03

Is it the acoustics in the bathroom? My son has a problem with sounds but he does have Aspergers. It's the echoey aound of a tiled room.

4allweknow Wed 18-Aug-21 13:44:08

If there is a shower available try placing a baby bath on the shower floor and just have the shower head spraying like a fountain on the shower floor for GS to play with. May work. My DD absolutely hated having her hair washed. Took me and DH holding her on her back over the kitchen sink with one of those Halo hats on her to help stop water
go on her face. Still had screaming. Eventually did grow out of the tantrum.

Treetops05 Wed 18-Aug-21 13:03:57

Love the duck bath! May buy it anyway!

Treetops05 Wed 18-Aug-21 12:55:16

@CanadianGran, no he isn't potty trained yet but has had the odd success. We use baby wipes etc. He has to take meds which causes occasional diarrhoea which is when it is becoming as issue. He will play in paddling pools with toys etc, but even in Devon it isn't always warm enough for this. We have tried baby baths again, sink, shower etc but he screams, even if not in the bathroom...It is such a change from his usual placid gentle behaviour. My daughter has High Functioning Asperger's and is worried this may be a sign for her son, so is even more obsessed with correcting it - a vicious circle, one reason I posted was to try to find something we hadn't thought of, but I think the answer is as suspected patience, time and love xx

Ali08 Wed 18-Aug-21 11:58:11

They could get him a seat for the bath that attaches with suckered to help him feel safer.
Or a bath mat, because he may feel he's going to slip over.
Or they could bathe with him.
Or wash him down at a sink, what we would have called a 'strip wash' at school and wash his hair over the bath or sink.
My niece was the same, but only when it came to washing her hair, so my sister used to lay her on the ironing board with a washing up bowl below her head and wash it while she slept!

razzmatazz Wed 18-Aug-21 11:29:17

I have a grandson, now aged 7, who had a fear of water . It was a real worry. Cut a long story short, he has grown out of it , from shivering in fear to now having swimming lessons and jumping into the pool. It was gradual, from being carried gently in the pool for one minute and holding on to him tightly and talking gently to him and progressing from there. It was a real fear. Now I take him and his brother for swimming lessons . He jumps I, he swims under water and swims well for a 7 year old. Baths were a trial too when he was a toddler but again softly, softly. No splashing just gentle pouring water on his tummy, not near his face and playing with bath toys. This may be different from not liking a bath as this was a real fear of water but thought I would share.

Aepgirl Wed 18-Aug-21 11:14:58

My grandson always loved his bath until he slipped one evening and banged his head (only slightly). After that, for a while, he was reluctant to bath.
I found that by putting a towel in the bath for him to sit on, and showing him that it wouldn’t slip, he soon enjoyed bath time again.

Newmom101 Tue 17-Aug-21 20:22:04

DD went through this at the same age. It’s a common toddler problem. We bought a blow up ‘duck bath’ and filled it halfway up in the living room (lots of towels underneath) with favourite TV show on and let her just stand in it whilst we have her a quick wash. Then gradually encouraged her to sit. After a few weeks she was fine having a bath like this and then we moved it into the bathroom and she was fine.

Hair washing - basically swaddle in a big towel, one person holds over the sink, the other washes hair. She screamed a bit the first time but got used to it, just had to make sure water wasn’t near her eyes or ears.

Bath we used - www.amazon.co.uk/Munchkin-White-Hot-Inflatable-Duck/dp/B000066665/ref=asc_df_B000066665/?hvlocphy=9045499&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310569029981&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=gransnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-365326647059&hvrand=16737690841614791364

Cherrytree59 Tue 17-Aug-21 20:10:31

Two out of three of my grandsons went through a stage, when the bath became a no no for them.

I advised both sets of parents to just flannel wash and not to force the issue.
As luck would have it, bath avoidance by both children was very short lived.

Another 'stage' was waiting on the wings to take overgrin

EdithRose Tue 17-Aug-21 19:41:48

Treetops05

It is normally my daughter, but she asked me to try alone this weekend - he was fine playing tippie toes in a baby bath etc, but as soon as we went to the bathroom for 'more bubbles' he screamed sad

So maybe that's the problem, something about bathrooms that upsets him. Maybe your daughter could try bathing him elsewhere in something he can tolerate like a baby bath or something that'll fit him for size, maybe improvise, that'll get the job done for now until he's verbal and can either express his fears or he grows out of whatever's scaring him.

eazybee Tue 17-Aug-21 19:24:51

My son screamed throughout his baths when very small and nothing seemed to work. We thought he was frightened of water and bought a paddling pool and climbed in despite the water being cold; he joined us happily, and then a brainwave: I wondered if the bathwater was too hot.
I ran an almost cold bath; he went in happily and I discovered he had a sensitive skin and warm water was most uncomfortable for him. No more problems after that apart for the guilt I felt.