How much time

Discuss with your daughter?

Of course you are not being selfish. I think you have gone over and above and glad to hear that you have been appreciated.
Take a little time for yourself.

You ve got a life too You are doing lots to help more than enough Why feel guilty when there’s nothing to feel guilty about Arent there any other sisters/ brothers / mother in laws/ granny grandads to do their bit too
My mum came for a week when I had my second and third and then it was back to normal
Don’t over do it

that is cock-eyed.
does your daughter and her husband ever wonder if they are being selfish.

Better to take a day or two off during those two weeks, s9 that she can see how she manages with two. Then any hiccups can be sorted before you go back to work and can’t be there.

That’s not selfish, just practical.

But incidentally, I had three under fives and nobody after the first week. Why do we think today’s mums can’t manage??

My daughter specifically stated she did not want family around, they just wanted to get used to being their own new little family, and learn to cope for themselves. Of course we were welcomed to visit them once, to meet the baby, but not to hang around. I can’t imagine a situation such as the OP describes.

Thanks, yes you're right. I do have a tendancy to think I'm needed. My daughter is very resilient and able. It's obviously more my problem lol.

You should be proud of your capable daughter Bungle talk to her about future child care bu t don't over commit. It's easier to add time than deduct it.

We advised both our daughters and DIL’s, to let people see the new baby once, preferably the same time, and then batten down the hatches for two weeks. This way, they get into a proper routine as a family.

We were always there if needed, but preferred not to be. I thought it sounded lovely to be around them from day one, but was mindful it could backfire on me, and they would end up needing me more than I wanted to be there, in the long run.

No...you are not being selfish. You’ve done your time, now it’s their turn. It’s all well and good for difficult situations, for you to support, but the everyday, run of the mill stuff...leave them to it.

Congratulations by the way

It’s lovely to help, but you are already doing a lot. Two days a week is a commitment especially if you are working too.

When I had my two I had no offer or expectation of such help from my mother. It just didn’t happen. We just muddled through.

Really no need to feel any guilt, you are not being selfish and you need time for yourself to do something or nothing. Whatever you wish.

Congratulations on your new gd by the way.

welbeck

that is cock-eyed.
does your daughter and her husband ever wonder if they are being selfish.

Why do you assume her daughter is demanding this help ?

Don't ever feel guilty! You are doing a great job. I have five grandchildren from my two daughters , they range in age from 18 down to 3 years. I told both my girls I can do Grandma duty one day a week. I have done this for 18 years !! My daughters have 9 years between them , hence the big age range of the GC. One day a week is right for me , I really enjoy it ! Any more would be a chore . Do what is right for you , you should not feel you ought to be available every day just because you are not working!! This is your time , decide what you can cope with and your daughter will understand. Remember those two weeks off work are for you to wind down - be honest with yourself about what is a reasonable amount to give to childcare.Good luck.

I had three under 5s at one point! OH took a week off work and then I got on with it. My mother popped over once a week or so but I had a group of friends in the village. We all had children of a similar age so looked out for each other. My brother and sister lived overseas and my m-in-law lived hundreds of miles away. One thing I did do was hire a cleaning lady. I can still remember that when I took the two oldest children to Playgroup she kept an eye on the baby. Wonderful.

Your daughter works. Every working person knows the value of “time off “.
It’s ok to take some time off for yourself. Make some plans, talk with your daughter about your plans and just do it! It most certainly is not be selfish.