Wondered whether it's ok

Let them enjoy the birthday guilt free,Mum will likely be in need of a break a toddler and a new baby can be unrelenting ,Give them a break of just a few hours ,they will really appreciate it

My DGS is the joy of my life. And I love taking him out. But a meal out with him is not a relaxed pleasure. It is a continuous battle over food, keeping him occupied, not spilling drink/blowing bubbles/choking on ice which he insists on crunching/making a mess/not disturbing other diners.

I think it's fine and opportunistic as well. They may have planned a wee tea including toddler for later. That's what I would have done. As GP I'd be delighted to have the toddler at any time.

That's their prerogative, and yours to agree with them.
I don't though.

MissAdventure

I really don't agree though.
A 2.5 yr old would enjoy looking around garden centres and having lunch out.
Perhaps I'm just strange because I'm in a minority, but I think its mean.
A night out, both children looked after - no problem.
I also don't think that the little un not knowing makes it ok.

Yes. The 2.5 year old would probably love it! Love looking, talking and touching.

Which is why the parents probably don't want her there.

I love my 3 children so much. I still stare in amazement while my daughter is asleep next to me. My eldest is 7 and the youngest is 2. I honestly never thought I could experience such a deep love.

Saying that. My ideal birthday does not include them. Seeing them and getting to do the present opening, happy birthday etc and seeing them get all excited. Fine. And then I would love to have a meal with no problems or talk of whatever is going through their heads on repeat.

A newborn is obviously different as they are hard to ditch.

Is mum nursing?
Does nursing mean breast feeding?
At the risk of being proved wrong, I can't see any mention of that.

Sure does Peasblossom, and the baby won’t grass on them!?

My husband took me out for my birthday one year, leaving the other kids at home but bringing the 6 week old baby. It was a wonderful break from the house, and as close as we could get to a date at the time.

Much easier to manage a tiny baby than wrangle a toddler for a meal. Baby slept the entire time.

I don't see what's mean or wrong about it. Chances are, the Mom is nursing, so can't easily leave baby.

I really don't agree though.
A 2.5 yr old would enjoy looking around garden centres and having lunch out.
Perhaps I'm just strange because I'm in a minority, but I think its mean.
A night out, both children looked after - no problem.
I also don't think that the little un not knowing makes it ok.

Germanshepherdsmum

Ooh Peasblossom, not in the daytime surely????

Best time in my opinion?

I’m serious, really. It’s been a long abstinence and it’s not easy with a small child around to have a really romantic, uninhibited moment or two.

But you couldn’t tell your Mum. A meal sounds so much better.

MissA - rather than looking at it as a family day out, without one member, it's really a couple going out to lunch but having to bring baby as probably being breast fed.

Ooh Peasblossom, not in the daytime surely????

8 weeks?

They are probably going to have uninterrupted sex?

I think its a lovely idea!!
A grown up lunch on your birthday... just the 2 of them ...with (hopefully) a sleeping baby...
No disruption of the toddlers routine... maybe a bit of birthday cake when they all get home... or maybe you could make crispy cakes as a surprise with her?? Decorated with smarties?? Sprinkles??

Dont overthink it.... they need a wee break too. I am sure they will appreciate you all the more afterwards.

Bungle, I really wouldn't worry about this - I can imagine my daughter doing the same ! On the face of things it seems unfair to exclude the two year old , but from their point of view they are looking forward to time together and a quiet lunch. A toddler puts the kybosh on that ! and the little one will be non the wiser. You are doing a great job offering child care two days a week and continuing that while your daughter is on maternity leave- so well done ! I have always stuck one childcare day each week.

Poor knackered Mum …

We'll have to agree to disagree then.
I think its mean.

I don’t see it as a family day out. Mum’s having a birthday treat but of course has to take the baby as it’s so small. There’s no suggestion that they don’t have proper family days out at other times but I just don’t see that that’s what this is supposed to be.

I do know that.
A family day out without one member of the family, though?
Not for me.

Treating kids equally is not the same as treating them the same at all times.

Hmmm..
Still interested to know if it is mum and dad or mum and stepdad.

I think it is an excellent idea. The little girl will be just as happy with Nana and mum and dad will be able to have a:quiet meal together and hopefully new baby will sleep through. Plus 2.5 years will not be overly interested in having a meal out. Let the young couple have a little quiet time together and mum can enjoy her birthday lunch in peace.

Well said missA just as I feel…. all or nothing
could no more leave my first born home and take the new one than fly through the air
Enjoy your time with her anyway bungle

Thanks for all the comments. I'll just make it a very nice day as usual for my GD. You're right she'll never know, just made me a bit sad