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Child-minding one at a time

(8 Posts)
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Nitpick48 Fri 14-Jan-22 14:34:54

My husband of 9 years, a widower, has 3 adult married children and 4 grandchildren under 7. They live nearby, and we do a bit of child-minding in the school holidays. We usually have 2 at a time, but one pair of children are so rude and cheeky, fight all the time, won’t do as they’re told, and as we’re in our mid 70s now and my health isn’t too good, we do find it difficult and exhausting, and not much fun for the 8 hours they’re with us. We don’t want to get them into trouble with the parents by letting on how naughty they are (as a “step” I’m always feeling I’m skating on thin ice there) but we would like to suggest we split them up and have them one at a time, which I feel would benefit all of us. Special time on their own, sort of thing. (There are holiday clubs available for them, and other grandparents, and they go there on the other days) We don’t know how to put it to the parents! (there are problems at home) What do other gransnetters think?

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MissAdventure Fri 14-Jan-22 14:46:33

I only had my grandsons together once.
Never again!

I just told my daughter, and she was ok with it.

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wildswan16 Fri 14-Jan-22 14:55:19

I'm sure their parents know what a handful they can be. Just be honest - say two at once is too much but you'd love to have them separately.

After a while it may even make the boys realise that they have to tone down their boisterousness (is that a word?)

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DiscoDancer1975 Fri 14-Jan-22 15:02:14

Just be honest. The parents will know why you’re saying it, unless they’re completely oblivious.

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Barmeyoldbat Fri 14-Jan-22 15:17:03

Just tell them

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aonk Fri 14-Jan-22 17:12:37

I’ve done a lot of childcare for my GC 3 of whom are steps. I’ve not yet asked to have only one at a time but sometimes it’s just worked out like that. It’s lovely to give all your attention to one child at a time and is of course calmer and less complicated. Siblings can get overexcited when together and are probably taking advantage of your good nature. My advice would be to try once more with 2 together. Sit them down and tell them your plans for how you’ll spend the day. Tell them how happy you are to have them. Then tell them what your rules are. For example my DH and I don’t allow shouting or fighting. No jumping on the sofas and they must always ask when they’re hungry or thirsty. Needless to say we don’t always get our own way! I’d also say that it’s vital to keep them busy and have activities ready for them. If this doesn’t work you can simply tell their parents that it’s hard work having 2 at once. No need to mention their behaviour. Good luck!

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Thoro Fri 14-Jan-22 17:40:36

Oooh I can see my future! I have my 4 yr old grandson one day a week (from a year old) and he’s lovely. I now have his 11 month old twin brothers two days a week (not his day).
They are a delight at the moment but can already see how they may be trouble together as they get older!
I agree that the day needs to be planned with lots of activities and outings. (and I’m 71)

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Elizabeth27 Fri 14-Jan-22 17:53:49

Just be honest, say that you cannot cope with both at once and would like to have them separately.

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