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Grandparenting

Childcare, shall I expand it?

(15 Posts)
maisiegreen Mon 31-Jan-22 07:02:42

My husband and I look after our 9 month grandchild once a week, and really enjoy it. But she seems to have developed separation anxiety after starting nursery and is sleeping very badly, although she is happy during the day.
I am torn. I would like to do an extra day's care, but I'm not sure if that would make much difference. Plus my husband doesn't want more commitments, which I understand.
Has anyone any thoughts?

Hetty58 Mon 31-Jan-22 07:25:47

I don't see how it would make any difference. She may be sleeping badly for many reasons - apart from the obvious change of routine - and it's associated period of adjustment.

Perhaps she's having a longer nap during the day? Conversely, she may be missing daytime sleep or teething pain is waking her. She is at that age where they often change and become quite clingy anyway. Waking at night is 'normal' then.

Thoro Mon 31-Jan-22 07:31:12

Totally agree with Hetty58. Enjoy your one day.

love0c Mon 31-Jan-22 07:36:35

maisiegreen What would the parents like/ do thy want you to do another day?

Grammaretto Mon 31-Jan-22 07:42:25

Keep other days free but take her in emergencies. Sounds like the best of both worlds.
The fretfulness will be adjustment anxiety from starting nursery - the parents as well as the baby. and probably she is weaning, teething etc.

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 31-Jan-22 07:59:03

If your DH doesn’t want to do it , then don’t. I’m sure the baby will settle down.

love0c Mon 31-Jan-22 08:33:48

If the parents would like you to have extra days then I would. I could not let my grandchild go to nursery if they are unhappy. The baby is only 9 months old. The time goes so quickly. We have looked our grandchild for over two years sometimes 4 days a week. We have loved having this time and would not have swapped it for the world. {smile}

Gwyneth Mon 31-Jan-22 09:44:58

I think you need to consider your husband’s opinion and maybe jut be there for emergencies as another poster has suggested.

flopen Mon 31-Jan-22 11:05:17

thanks all, that's helpful.
I suppose the thing is that she seems to be happy at nursery, and we do have other family commitments, as well as wanting a life for ourselves. And there is no guarantee that, if we did more childcare, it would solve the problem.

aonk Mon 31-Jan-22 11:12:34

I suspect from my own experience with the GC that this is just an unfortunate phase which will pass in time. I’ve had difficult moments with all of mine. It’s hard not to feel negative but it’s not forever and you’re providing love and stability which will help your GC feel better. My youngest GC was quite unhappy when his mum went back to work but we got through it. Why not try the extra day on a temporary basis and see how it goes? I think I understand your DH’s reluctance but we take our GC out and get on with things while they’re with us. Eg cleaning, gardening, shopping, trips to the park or garden centre, visits to neighbours etc. Of course there’s a routine but it’s surprising what you can fit in. Ours have always loved a trip to the local cafe for toast!

Elizabeth27 Mon 31-Jan-22 11:46:20

At nursery, your grandchild will catch many colds and childhood illnesses so it may be best that you are available for childcare at these times instead of committing to another day every week.

jaylucy Mon 31-Jan-22 11:51:25

Early days yet.
As others have said, she may be having a more regimented nap time at nursery - many have a set time during the day that can be for an hour or even an hour and a half, that may even be later in the day than with you.
Wait a while. see if things change and get her mum to speak to the nursery, health visitor or GP if it continues. There could be several reasons why she is not sleeping as well.

Hithere Mon 31-Jan-22 12:22:32

Separation anxiety is very normal at this age - it will pass.

Whose idea it is of an extra day, yours or your daughter's?

flopen Mon 31-Jan-22 12:48:34

mine, and I haven't mentioned it to my son and daughter in law, just my dh.

ElaineI Mon 31-Jan-22 22:59:07

flopen

mine, and I haven't mentioned it to my son and daughter in law, just my dh.

Why has your name changed? I agree it might not help but if you want to do more then do. They grow so quickly. We have less contact with our DGC now as they are at nursery and school and I miss it but DH less so. They continue to be delightful but 8yo has more outside activities now so growing up.