presents

Questions:- Do you love GS? Do you WANT to send him a present? Are presents to GC restricted to birthdays? Follow your heart.

All I can do is just confirm what everyone on here states.

The child, does not cease to be your g.son, just because his parents have broken up. You are still, and will always be, his g.mother. Poor chap - having to deal with all the trauma of Mummy and Daddy not being together. Bad enough for him.

No-one, at any time, under any circumstances, should try to use their child/children as pawns because adults break up.

Obviously, you should be sending love, kisses, card and present to this child. AND.....persuade your son to do likewise.

Not very often that GSM and I agree on anything - perhaps the fact that we do, absolutely, on this matter, says it all.

I think your son asking you to refrain from giving your gc presents till he can see his child is vindictive

What would your son do if he knows you sent one?

Do you know where the mother stands here?

Clearly, relationships between your son and his wife are very strained at the moment. Ask yourself, would sending a present make this (potentially) better or worse? Would not sending a present make this better or worse?
There seems unanimity on this- the little chap should open a gift from his father's family on his birthday. And I think the idea of taking a photo of you wrapping the parcel - perhaps with a lighthearted caption " here's Granny getting into a muddle with the string on your birthday present " is a good one.I hope that matters can be resolved amicably for you all.

Whatever the reason for the breakdown of AS marriage, don't take sides!
He is still and always will be your GC so if you have a contact address, no reason not to send something - be it an actual gift or a voucher.
The only reason that I wouldn't is if DiL has asked that you don't

Yes. Yes. Yes! I agree with other GNs posting here. Do send a card & gift. (And perhaps photograph both, in case these don't reach him? While it's to be hoped that it never comes to this, at some time in the future you might wish to reassure your DGS that you never stopped thinking about him....) I hope you can see him soon.

This could be tagged onto the "where have all the dads gone?" thread.
Airbrushing people out, bit by bit.

Your son is behaving very badly, if he is going to punish his son, for what the mother is doing.

It's his child and your grandchild. That poor little one. His dad and his granny not recognising his birthday?

Agree with GSM.

Ah this is a difficult time for you while they grow through this process.

You can be neutral in a this and send a present, while still being polite to mum.

Hopefully that will help.

I think your son should send a present too

Three of my grandchildren live in New Zealand, thankfully only for two years, but we’ve sent loads of parcels over there to them and to their parents. We’ve also made bank transfers so their parents can buy things in NZ for them. Your little one is your grandson, of course you must send a present. Do you keep in touch in other ways? We speak to ours for about an hour every week. It’s important to keep in contact with them, especially since his parents are going through a divorce. You are stability, you’re always there.

Whether you or your son still see your grandson is neither here nor there.
Of course you need to acknowledge his birthday, as does his dad.

Germanshepherdsmum

Never mind what your son says, send a present and a nicely worded card. I hope your son will do likewise whether he sees him or not. Effectively your son is seeking to punish the child for the mother’s actions. Not a good look.

What Germansheperdsmum said.

Definitely send present. Also try and stay friends with your dil

My son and dil are going through a divorce at the moment but I've always tried to stay neutral. I'm not seeing my son over Easter but my dil is bringing my 2 GDs over to see us tomorrow

If it was my grandchild, I would send a gift and a card. Same at Christmas and Easter. It will be much appreciated by the child. Too many children lose contact through divorce with family, none of it is the child's fault. The adults need to remember the child's welfare is the most important. The couple should keep their disputes for the solicitor.

Yes. It's not the child's fault.

Of course, this isn’t about your son, DIL or even you, send a gift, with love.

Yes, send a small gift and a card - keep the channel of communication open when the opportunity arises, but be prepared for it to be a one-way conversation for a while.

He is your grandchild - why ever would you not send a present?

Never mind what your son says, send a present and a nicely worded card. I hope your son will do likewise whether he sees him or not. Effectively your son is seeking to punish the child for the mother’s actions. Not a good look.

Send a present and a card, don’t let him think you don’t care, or worse, you’ve forgotten about him.

My son fills unless he can see his little boy, we should not send anything, he has asked to see him for his birthday but I don't know if it will happen, as he would like to give the gifts personally .

I hardly see my only grandson despite him living just st a few miles away but that wouldn't stop me treating him exactly the same as if I saw him almost every day.
I have been quite poorly recently and he has messaged me, enquiried via his Mum on my progress, occasionally phoned me too.
Naturally, all situations are different and we don't know why the OP hasn't seen her grandson for six months, we don't know his age or his circumstances either.
I'm with varian on this, put a special message in the card, be the adult and rise above it.

Why do you feel the need to ask?

DIL has moved away and is filing for a divorce. Son is currently in contact with a solicitor to get some sort of contact.