Feeling horrible after a 'near miss'

When my son was in his teens we were waiting to cross a road in what was a one way system. I grabbed him just as he was about to step out in front of a car. I still get flashbacks to it and it was nearly thirty years ago. When he was little I left him sleeping in the car one day and he got out of the car and let himself into the house. In those days, having a Yale lock on the front door I used to leave the key in the door for fear of locking myself out and everyone in our street had the same key for our back door ( I once went into town and realised I’d left something cooking: phoned my neighbour up and asked him to go round and take it out of the oven. As we drove up our street my ex said to me ‘ why did Roger just wink out you’….how times have changed in just 45 years)

Those reins were great. Do they have them nowadays?

DGS was on the beach with DH and I when a large kite fell out of the sky and thumped down beside him, even though he is now grown up I don't think I could go onto a beach with him.

Oh this sort of thing has happened to all of us - but we are the lucky ones as it was a ‘near miss’ so be thankful…when my eldest son was about 18 months old I went early to my local market too, was talking to a stall holder and looking back at the pushchair he was strapped into every few mins to check on him - after what couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes Ilooked again and he was gone!! My heart sank, etc, etc, I cried out and looked up and down the rows - and as I was known there as a regular several of the smallholders started a hunt too. After about half an hour he was still no-where to be found and I thought he must have been taken, so called the Police - another half hour passed whilst I desperately gave all the details to the police etc, and was in despair when suddenly one of the smallholders who had also been searching came along with little Jon toddling happily by his side - the market adjourned a large shopping precinct where a small Tescos was sited on the edge - Jon had extracted himself from the straps and toddled like the wind to Tescos and as found by the sweet pic and mix section with a mouthful!!! Even at 18 months he had remembered where it was!!!! I have NEVER EVER forgortten that awful experience! He’s now a very careful 43 year old!

I lost my daughter on the top floor of M&S when she was 3. I had her baby brother in the carrycot-on-wheels (remember those?) and she was on reins which I was holding while she was walking beside me, but she somehow slipped the reins and hid in a rack of clothes. As I reached her, pushing the carrycot through crowds of shoppers, she ran off somewhere else, thinking it was a game.

I was terrified she would go down the escalator and out onto the street. I found a supervisor who put a message out on the tannoy, and while I was frantically looking, my daughter suddenly ran into me and I grabbed her and burst into tears.

It was a truly terrifying experience. I imagined someone evil taking her hand and ......

My daughter is 48 now and I still haven't got over it!!!

SueDomin: I asked his older brother if he’d seen anything and he said ‘Oh yes! He asked to go out so I opened the front door for him.’

Now that made me laugh. Our eldest son did almost the same thing with his youngest brother. Fortunately baby brother could not open the front gate so lay down on the path and had a tantrum which alerted me to his whereabouts. When big brother explained how he got there he said indignantly 'But we open the door when the dog wants to go out.' He was right.

Yes it happened with one of our GC a few years back. She was about 2 1/2 and slipped out around side of the house (no gates) when I went to the loo. I heard DH calling her from the front garden where he was weeding. I ran out and saw him standing calmly in the middle of the busy road stopping the traffic. I took her hand and led her back to the house just as if we were going for a walk. No point in telling her off she was just being curious and too young to understand. Her mum said she often wandered off. It's scary but probably inevitable at some point, you can't watch them constantly.

Oh, the speed with which things can happen! Even with the best will in the world, such events do happen. My ‘party piece’ was the time a small boy knocked on my front door and asked me if that was my 18mth old baby crawling up the white line in the middle of the road outside our house. It was! ???

I dashed outside to grab him, mystified as to how he had got outside. I asked his older brother if he’d seen anything and he said ‘Oh yes! He asked to go out so I opened the front door for him.’ ???‍???

Don't beat yourself up about it. It was a pure accident, and you did catch him. My DGS lives with me, and a few years ago went on holiday to Morecambe. We were crossing the road on the sea front when I blacked out, don't remember a thing, except his poor little head hitting the floor. I must have taken him down with me, as I was holding his hand. he was only 4. took him to hospital afterwards, as he had a bruised, and bloody head and skinned the bridge of his nose. I still have nightmares off this, and have never been out alone with him, except school runs which is a 5 minute walk. Like everyone says accidents do happen, but our mind over think s lot

Was in Boots once many moons ago with my very young son and a lady came up to me to tell me he’d just come back into the shop after going outside across the car park!!! I never even noticed, mum of the year!!

No not as bad as that, but I have had my moments and a few near misses, but we are grans /nans nannas not super heroes it happens to everyone let your self off the hook.

Gwen I think we need to get GS a wrist strap that we can attach to our wrist and his. It’s awful to say that but we feel nervous walking along the road with him. We need to lock our front door and take out the key when he’s at ours. We live on a busy road.

Had a few frights over the years with DC and DGC, and still feel thankful after every occasion they’ve been with me that all went safely.

My 2 year old DGD once ran off in the chemist. I’d let go of her hand to put something back on the shelf and my eyes were off her for a couple of seconds but it was enough for her to run. I still cringe when I think how she managed to run towards the door and I caught her just in time otherwise she would have run out into the street. How can those little legs run so fast?

I don't have grandchildren (yet) but could fill a book with incidents concerning my son, usually when he was within arm's reach so don't feel you were to blame though I know its a horrible feeling.
I think the one which sticks in my mind most is the one on a very hot summers day. I had very quickly gone out into the back garden to pick up our dog's 'parcels', not something to involve a curious toddler in, and I'd thought he was having a nap so I had an opportunity to do the 'harvest' without him getting amongst the job. My neighbour shouted over the fence to warn me my son was running up the road! The little so'n'so had managed to reach and open the front door and was running up the road dressed only in a nappy (it was a stiflingly hot day). When I caught up with him, he was crying, not because he was naughty or lost, but because the hot pavement was hurting his feet!

Every parent, aunt, grandmother, and school-teacher knows the hideous moment when you realise a child is missing!

And how hard you start shaking when you find that child unhurt.

It takes an age just to feel relief!

I feel quite sick when I think that some unfortunate people do not find the child unhurt.

My DGs is always running off, that's why we keep the doors locked and I keep him on a harness when out.. He has Down syndrome, and still manages to escape. He is 8 but is the size of a 4 year old. Basically he is a little monkey, but we love him.

Yes it’s happened to me and I still get flashbacks. It’s certainly a steep learning curve. Things happen so fast and grandchildren are often faster than 67 year old grandmothers! Grandchildren are an absolute blessing, but a huge responsibility. My twin 4 year old granddaughters simply do not listen and will run off at the drop of a hat, so I have to be extremely careful. Thankfully all was well for you, but it’s a very scary situation.

Yes - small GD very nearly fell out of a window that I hadn't realised was not locked. I can still wake up in a panic remembering it. My own DS , aged two, went missing in a large department store when I had let go of his hand for seconds to pick up an item I had dropped; I looked down and he was gone. - and the store doors, close by, were open to a busy road with heavy traffic. The minute or so that it took me to run around the clothes rails frantically and then see him hand in hand with an assistant is anothe one that would wake me up at night. Most of us have had these horrors surely ; it's the price of love.

So whatever happened to Leading Reins??
Or in my case, baler twine as in bales of hay. My children were extremely adventurous and ~I had shredded nerves most of the time on any walking journey etc. They were also mountain goats and would climb anything. Nightmare.
Outings were not enjoyable with four little ones under four years of age. But the baler twine helped a bit.

I’m sorry, you must be so shaken. Things like this can literally happen to us all.

The important thing to remember is that you did not let him get hurt

My now late MIL used to always refuse the reins when she took my DS1 out, said she hated to see a child wearing them.
That was until she was out with him and he ran away from her in a shop.He was found by two people about to go down an escalator! She was frantically trying to find him when she saw this couple shouting out asking who this little boy belonged to.
After that she would never venture out without putting the reins him first.

When my daughter was a toddler she was playing in the garden which I thought was secure, but somehow she got out. I was expecting a friend from nearby, who turned up a minute later with the toddler in tow! She had met her just round the corner on the edge of a busy road.

M0nica

Yes, when DS was 18 months old and we were buying fruit and veg in our local market. I let go of his hand for a few seconds while I put a bag of fruit in a bag. Reached for him again - and he was gone. We looked up and down the aisle of stalls we were in and couldn't see him. DH ran up the aisle, through a gap in the stalls and saw him on the edge of a busy road.

He had crawled/walked under the grass fabric the stall was draped with, out the other side of the stall, across the area behind the stall and to the edge of the road. All in probably less than a minute. I will remember that minute for the rest of my life.

Yes it's like a sinking feeling in your stomach and panic sets in.

Ali08

They're slippery little bubs, aren't they?
I once lost mine on a beach, though I was watching her like a hawk. She was 2, and I turned my head to answer a friend who'd told me to chill out. "I can't, she's a mini Houdini!" Looked back and she'd disappeared. I scoured the tiny beach but couldn't see her anywhere. I asked a man had he seen her - gave description - and he pointed up the cliff face and just said, "Her?" If I'd had time, I think I'd have decked him for being so flippant, but my ambitious child was actually climbing the cliff so I had to go and rescue her!
Afterwards, my friend said, "I see what you mean!" She had the fright of her life. My DD was just fine, though!

We were on Weston Super Mare beach one year and my 3DC went to collect shells and water. Youngest wanted to come back (about4) and her sister said "Mummy is up there" and pointed. She never turned up. We had the dog patrol and loads of people looking for her. She was missing for an hour and I was distraught. I found her myself but she had been to shifting sands? and lost her sandal. Easy done! More recently DGS1 ran across a road near his house in front of a car to say goodbye. His town is 20mph on roads and the driver stopped and spoke to him. He was 7 and I was glad the driver did that as the lesson sunk in. I do remember being taught that children under 14 are not reliable for road sense and even older children will dash out if they see a friend.