Making Short Fun Videos - Why shouldn't children watch them ?

When you take photos/videos of young DGC (ours are all quite young still so no idea what they feel when older) the children normally love watching themselves often over and over again. There is nothing wrong with this ( they could watch worse things) and most children do this. They grow out of it around 6. Perhaps your son is worried he is becoming dependant on watching videos rather than the content. My DGC age 4 and 5 do this but are nor adversely affected. 8yo never nowadays. Too busy with football training. Sounds like they don't want him watching videos not necessarily about himself which is really up to them I suppose.

The gf - is she the mother of the child?

The father of the child has asked you to do something - please respect and follow it

Feeling taken for granted, abused or never appreciated is a big leap and a huge overreaction just because of this new rule

Please let's not blame the woman again for a decision your son communicated to you
Your son is not a puppet that can be manipulated so easily- what an insult towards your son

Relax, enjoy the relationship with your son and gc.
Life is too short to overthink everything this much

I wouldn’t worry, but in some ways they might be right , there’s nothing wrong with watching his little videos, but over and over would concern me too You don’t want him to become obsessed and there’s so many other things he should be doing than looking at himself Let him watch his video but not over and over
You sound very over invested (even financially) in your sons family and their lives, even subtly suggesting the child has more fun with you
This unfortunately us a knock at the child’s mother who you sound as if you would love to take over from They rely on us completely and how do I stop her feeling jealous of the great relationship we have with our grandson. I really don't think my son is the one who has a problem with it step back a bit not in your child minding but in your over investment it’s not your child…you are the grandparents, who are helping not taking over, put yourself for a moment in your daughter in laws shoes she probably misses all the things you are doing stop rubbing it in you are the helpful grandparents not the proud parents
Sorry this is not what you want to hear but it’s a genuine observation from the information you have given

Oh dear. I think it was a huge mistake for you to just assume all of the above that you have without even asking him or waiting until you know what the reasons are for their decision, because you are assuming so many things here. And the worst case scenario at that. So he says that his son his too dependent on them. Okay, what could that mean? What would that look like? He might be asking to watch them too often, like all the time and they aren’t able to redirect him elsewhere to do things he has to do like brush his teeth perhaps because all he wants to do is watch the videos. That is a very plausible and understandable explanation for asking you to cool it with the videos, and that you didn’t come to that conclusion right away makes me think that it is you who is in fact jealous and are kind of having a meltdown about not being able to do what you want with your grandson. Because the overall demeanor of your post is very territorial in nature, there is no reason for you to be as upset about this as you are and especially in the way that you are.

This seems a little odd, I can’t see his age anywhere, but if he’s beginning to ride a balance bike, I’m guessing no older than three
If that’s the case, im surprised that with everything he’s been doing, he tells his parents he’s been watching the little videos, not just once but over and over.
My three year old granddaughter loves doing this as well, and she laughs at herself, but she’s soon distracted, and if you asked her what she had done all day, she definitely wouldn’t think of that.
You have no choice to do as they ask, I guess you can still make them for your own pleasure

I have set up our granddaughter with an email address, I send lots of videos and photographs to the address, I will give her access when she is 18, it will a “ This is Your Life” record for her.

There are people that believe small children shouldn’t watch screens, perhaps that’s what your son is trying to tell you.

Maybe you are too invested PreciousChild and you are perhaps also unwittingly "rubbing in" the fact that the other grandparents are far away.
I would save the videos for your own enjoyment.
I you want to share them, ask your son/daughter in law if they would like a copy?
It is really for them to send videos to the other grandparents I feel.

Screen time should be limited for children this is not a belief it's a fact. Just google to find out the many negative effects. The other thing is that watching himself on screen may be making him behave less naturally. It's amazing how many young children now pose as soon as they see a phone about.
Anyway he's not your child, so not your rules. And if your son can't think for himself and his wife makes all the decisions that isn't her fault.

There’s a lot of supposition in your OP, Preciouschild. It sounds more like you have a problem with your son’s partner than with the videos. Why not talk to your son about it? Also, why not encourage your son and his partner to be less dependent on you? It’s not normal for fully grown adults to be relying on their parents for everything, assuming there are no underlying reasons such as ill health.

As far as the videos are concerned, my dd doesn’t allow her 4yo to watch many videos of herself because given the chance, that’s all she would do. Not that they take many, and I almost never do, I’m too busy with the child herself.

I do think that whenever we go anywhere with the children, that parents are so busy recording everything, that they are having no pleasure in the moment.
Never mind, as long as it looks good on Facebook

The other thing I d like to mention is I m sure the overseas grandparents like seeing their grandchild …..but
a) is it your place to be sending them lots of videos surely that’s up to the mum to send to HER own parents
and
b) have you ever thought how they feel to be sent lots of videos especially if they are all about you taking the grandchild here, there and everywhere

You are obviously being very helpful to the young couple but you are wanting to fully take over as if it’s your own child
You are not the parent and the parents have asked you to back off on ONE thing and it s making you feel ‘angry unappreciated and abused’ I m sorry to be harsh but you are way too over invested in their lives it’s not your child

BlueBelle I agree. I was trying to put these points earlier - your post is better articulated!

It will just be a screen time thing, that’s all!

There is alot of judgement in some circles of young parents over the amount of screen time parents let their children have. Your son and his partner may be disconcerted by the child, still so young, asking repeatedly to watch these videos. They may have intended to hold off on introducing screentime until your grandson was much older but you've gone and undercut them. Now they have a child constantly whining to get on their phones while the other preschool mums look on, aghast.

Honestly, this is a major overreaction to a reasonable request. If you expect them to quietly push aside their own parenting instincts to show you deference because you have helped them in x, y, z ways... Im sorry but are you not basically trying/expecting to buy a seat at the parenting table?

Give, help, support if you want to and are able to do so freely. If you expect something in return is not a gift it's a transaction. Maybe they didn't understand that you wanted something more than a simple thank you when you gave those things. Perhaps if they had been aware they may have politely declined?

Be clearer with them in future.

Also, i strongly urge you to stop framing this as a contest between you and the childs mother for the child's affection. I understand, you suggest it is the child's mother who thinks this way, not you, but you really have no idea what she thinks. You have come up with a best fit scenario based on the computations of your own mind.

It's interesting that this is what you've come up with.

Do you want your gs to love you more than his mother? Genuine question. Perhaps this is something you need to work through.