I’d appreciate some other people’s perspective. Here’s the situation. Although I’ve tried my best to be friendly to my daughter in law 30, she’s very controlling & has a cold attitude towards me. My son 30, has Aspergers; his social skills are adequate, but he's never been very warm towards the family.
They got married without family present 2 yrs ago & say they, didn’t invite either family-side, to the wedding due to Covid (though I suspect her family was there) [I asked her then how to contact her parents, to congratulate them (but she’s not comfortable with me meeting them) they’ve never contacted me either, despite the marriage, yet she is close to them] I live 1 hr drive away.
She’s expected to deliver by the end of Sept. but because the baby is breech, may have a C-section sooner. I get roughly 3 phone calls a yr from them, so I was surprised yesterday, when I got a call saying, they wanted to visit in 2 days time to get the baby gift, because, I won't be allowed to see the baby until mid Dec. because of Covid. She also doesn’t want an indoor visit at my home, because of Covid. Yet, she suggested we all go to the pub, for dinner on the patio.
They asked for some small items ie pacifier & comb as the gift. Good thing I got some toys earlier, because I ordered the pacifiers & comb online, which won’t be delivered until next week. I guess I’ll mail it.
My question is, I have been friendly & not over-stepped. (I asked if I have offended her in anyway. She says no). I’m worried that she'll be very controlling once the baby’s here. I think that 2 months is a long time to 1st see a 1st grandchild.
I respect her boundaries, & if she doesn’t want baby held, I’ll understand. I’ve always given them space & haven’t meddled, Of course the 1st 3 weeks are for parent/child bonding, but I find it odd that I’m told to wait 2- 2 ½ mo.
Any advice? Am I too eager? How long did others have to wait for a short visit to see their grandchild?
