Grandkids ignore us when other grandparents are around

We are considering this 62granny. It’s sad though since we have bent over backwards to include the other grandparents from the beginning, since we are both local, so my daughter is not always having to deal with split holidays. Up until recently, it has gone well.

They are so young, they are not doing on purpose to hurt you

Expectations are the root of all evil

Give it time and space, they will interact with you again

Totally agree with 62granny just for a while avoid the double grandparents do s and have more one to ones I m sure it’s nothing more than it’s a bit overwhelming to suddenly have four new adults to choose from

In reply to Theexwife……I don’t know if the 5 year old prefers them but he is super smart and seems to have picked up that it bothers us. Not sure if he’s been scolded but his mom or why, but perhaps I have shown it is hurtful. We do spend some time with them on their own and it is completely different, especially with 3 yr old. Just not sure what’s going on when we are all together and trying my best not to become resentful of the other grandma. It has just become very uncomfortable.

Are they your son or daughter’s children? Do you get on with your child’s partner?

My youngest MIL lives near them and child minds our grandson. She used to look quite pleased when he gravitated to her but we now seem to have some novelty value.

Children go through phases but it’s not something that can be forced. Perhaps avoid visiting when they are present for a while.

Unless it is an essential occasion that you are all together with the grandchildren , I would decline mutual invites for the moment, that way you can enjoy your time with them separately and not get stressed by it. I appreciate Christmas might be awkward but I am sure you can cope with it on one day.

Do you see them more frequently than the other grandparents? We tend to be the favourites because our son’s children tend to show preference for us rather than the other grandparents who they see almost every day but actually their relationship with them is much stronger. Don’t worry about it.

They are really so little.
A lot of people can overwhelm children so it may be easier for them to process by "deleting" some.

Just ride it out. You can't control their actions only your own reaction.

Do you think that they really prefer them or was there a reaction when it first happened?

If they really prefer them then look as to why, if there was a reaction and ongoing reactions then you have to ignore the fact they are showing a preference.

Children are very good at reading facial expressions so will see the pleasure on the other grandparent's faces or will hear comments made by you or others.

Don't force the issue, they could reverse this behaviour at some time.

I do feel for you, it must be upsetting. Could you spend time with them without the other grandparents?