Being Left

Speak up and see about scheduling an alternate day. We get so worked up about the date sometimes but really don’t you want the grands to be with all their little cousins when they can? As the grown ups surely we can set up an alternative time ?

Halfpint1 I am in NI and the only one in a large family whose children don't live close. I so envy all my siblings who see their children and grandchildren all the time. You may have a point.

Think I might need my tin hat on here but I find living in France that families tend to stick around each other alot
more in the normal way of life than is normal in Britain, I
think this is similar in the States. Of course many families
have adult children living at a distance but even when my
lot went to Uni it was normal to go in the Department you
lived in rather than at a distance and hence many lived at
home or locally. 3 of my children live reasonably close.

OP, has said that her husband has health issues, so that may restrict their activities, also being USA, financial constraints may be even worse than here.

With holiday budget- put all the activities on a list and the prioritize which ones are the favourite and how feasible they are

The visits to family change depending on the ages of the relatives- older gc like these ones may be interested in experiences more than playing with the grandparents

It is the natural evolution of life

But you will be alone together, won't you. Not really on your own. You have each other.
I don't mean to sound harsh, it is difficult when a loved one leaves for whatever reason and I have every sympathy for how you feel.
But, as others have said, we can't live our life around our grandchildren. They don't belong to us. We can just hope for a loving relationship to continue when apart, and look forward to seeing them sometimes. And it's so easy to keep in touch these days.
And this is now an opportunity to find new interests and feel freer to enjoy them. I hope it all works out happily.

It will be hard for you, of course.
TBH it doesnt really matter the why's or wherefore's of how you came to this point.
This is where you are now.
Having people we love around us feels so 'right' doesnt it?
The young bring a different slant on life as well.
Try to accept you will miss him and this part of your life.
Filling your time will help as others have said.
Its akin to grief of a death.
I think sometimes all that we can do is give an understanding kind word.
You are the architect of your happiness
Good luck.

You can’t live your life through your teenage GS , that’s not fair to him either , he needs to spread his wings and live his own life , not be hanging around a couple of OAP’s .
You and your DH need to create your own lives , through interests / hobbies / traveling ect ect . There’s a whole new world out there for you both to enjoy . At least you both have each other for company whereas a lot of us have lost our husbands/ partners and found ourselves totally on our own , so count yourselves lucky .

You will miss them of course, but you can keep in touch very easily these days. My children all live away from me, I haven't seen my son for a year and a half, but you get used to it. You need to develop your own lives, make friends and look forward. Wishing you well.

Agree with others. Surely, you should be living your own lives, not living through a teenager. Time for you both to start looking at local groups to join, so voluntary work to underttake, visits to theatres, etc. hobbies to pick up and learn new.
Have fun!!!! together and separately.

I agree with keeping occupied and engage in hobbies

You will adapt to the new living arrangements - give it a chance

Can you pick up a few more shifts? Teachers are in short supply in the US. How about a Senior Center in your area?

I'm afraid I agree with Maw . You will miss the boy but must plan to occupy yourself now with other interests.
You sound like a kind person who likes to help others . There must be many people, worse off than yourself, who you could help.

There is a sad moral to be drawn from this post. You cannot live your life through other people whether children or grandchildren. I would be mortified to admit that my entire life revolved around a 19 year old GS however much I loved him. Where are OP's friends, neighbours, even her work colleagues? Sorry to hear she is still working at nearly 70 but what about hobbies, interests etc?
As I said a sad moral to be drawn.

I think mynest probably means she stands in for others when they are sick or on holiday Skydancer

I understand how you feel mynest but I think you need to be more positive, your family are getting on with their lives thanks to you helping and supporting them. Now it's time for you and your spouse to do things you enjoy and live your own lives. You will be able to visit your family I'm sure.

Skydancer

What do you mean by you substitute on a part-time basis? I don’t under the sentence.

I'm guessing OP is in the US, so a substitute teacher is probably what she is referring to.

What do you mean by you substitute on a part-time basis? I don’t under the sentence.