High functioning autism

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Aveline

That is more complex thanCaleo's post

I agree with you

There's a lovely TV drama series on Friday evenings at the moment called "Astrid" - French with subtitles (Walter Presents, they do some great stuff) - which has an actress portraying someone with HFA which I found quite illuminating - colloquial speech being taken as literal, finding disorder to be extremely stressful, etc. If you can find it, OP, you might find it of interest.

It's on one of the Channel 4 channels.

What are you afraid of Hithere?

I am afraid so, Aveline.

MawtheMerrier

^My brother was 85 last week. A absent minded, wonderful professor- who did a PhD at Grenoble Uni in 1963-64, when we didn't even know what IT was?^
No diagnosis then- but he clearly was different. He didn't like sport, prefered classical music and wrote and read poetry. Hugely intelligent, as no one else was- and it was what it was

Not sure of the relevance of IT (which was in fact first given its name in 1958) but whether or not your brother was high functioning autistic is very little to do with autism. But perhaps you just meant to emphasis it.
My DH was very much what you describe as are many men and women I know. Preferring music and classical music to sport is hardly a diagnosis!
Whether Rain Man did the understanding of Autism any favours is debatable. It is a film about two conditions — autism and Savant Syndrome. Not all autistic persons are savants, in fact only one in 10 autistic persons have any savant abilities, let alone the prodigious skills of Raymond Babbitt.
From The Guardian
^”Many say that Rain Man is now damaging to autism awareness, and I see their point,” says the autism advocate Chris Bonnello of Autistic Not Weird, who has Asperger’s syndrome. The film, he believes, “should be regarded as a piece of history now”. When I put this question to Bonnello’s Facebook community, views were mixed. Although some enjoyed Rain Man, many found it “dated” and “inaccurate”. One individual on the spectrum called it “the Apu of autism ... despite not being malicious in its portrayal, it’s still a poor representation and a stereotype.”^

Thanks for the Babbitt comment, very interesting, And I can see what he means. However, for me, watching the film made me realise that Rainman had traits which reminded me very much of my brother. In those days, late 30s- there was no diagnosis or label. Yes, IT was first mentionned in 1956- but practicall unknown to the vast majority of the population. His PhD batch was the very first ever. And it is relevant, 100%. People with high functionning autism/Aspergers- have brains which are particularly suited to maths/physics, numbers and complex calculations- so IT in those early days was perfect, including inventing some of the earlier languages, as he did.

Of course Rainman was an extreme version, and as such not plausible and too far stretched. But the features were there and very clear.

It's a lot more complex than that Caleo!

If she can't make friends due to autism she needs social skills training. There are not many jobs available to people who can't get on with other people. Fortunately social skills can be learned, as a form of training.

"Can you See Me" and "Do you know me" are 2 books written by Libby Scott, supported by Rebecca Wetscott. Libby is a teenager with Autism, only fairly recently identified.

Both books are worth reading both for adults and for teenagers ...whether they are autistic or not. I recommend them for yourself and for your grandaughter to read

My 23 year old grandson is HFA. He's absolutely lovely.
I do hope your granddaughter will get help at school now that she has been diagnosed. As others have said, don't treat her any differently. Lots of teenagers hate school, sadly. It's difficult these days especially because of social media.
My grandson has never had any real friends, he prefers just his family. He is interested in so many things, so I think encouraging those things is the way to go with your granddaughter. Encourage her interests.
Don't think of this as a disability. It's just different, that's all.
Good luck.

The problem with Rainman was that he displayed all the possible signs of ASD. Most people on the spectrum reflect that it is a spectrum with an infinite variety of combinations of behaviours and, sometimes, none. I've seen people who at first sight I didn't think had autism then some form of life stress appeared and, bam! the obvious signs reappeared.
In our diagnostic service the average age of referral was 38 and the oldest diagnosed was 84. I actually prefer to say recognised rather than diagnosed which 'medicalises' a condition. Note condition not disease or illness. Not is it necessarily a disability. Some people on the spectrum have called it, for them, a superability. It certainly predisposes some to particular careers of which IT is one but also engineering and architecture although people with autism can be found in all walks of life. 1:100 people. Chances are we all know several people with autism and the world is the better for it.

My brother was 85 last week. A absent minded, wonderful professor- who did a PhD at Grenoble Uni in 1963-64, when we didn't even know what IT was?
No diagnosis then- but he clearly was different. He didn't like sport, prefered classical music and wrote and read poetry. Hugely intelligent, as no one else was- and it was what it was

Not sure of the relevance of IT (which was in fact first given its name in 1958) but whether or not your brother was high functioning autistic is very little to do with autism. But perhaps you just meant to emphasis it.
My DH was very much what you describe as are many men and women I know. Preferring music and classical music to sport is hardly a diagnosis!
Whether Rain Man did the understanding of Autism any favours is debatable. It is a film about two conditions — autism and Savant Syndrome. Not all autistic persons are savants, in fact only one in 10 autistic persons have any savant abilities, let alone the prodigious skills of Raymond Babbitt.
From The Guardian
”Many say that Rain Man is now damaging to autism awareness, and I see their point,” says the autism advocate Chris Bonnello of Autistic Not Weird, who has Asperger’s syndrome. The film, he believes, “should be regarded as a piece of history now”. When I put this question to Bonnello’s Facebook community, views were mixed. Although some enjoyed Rain Man, many found it “dated” and “inaccurate”. One individual on the spectrum called it “the Apu of autism ... despite not being malicious in its portrayal, it’s still a poor representation and a stereotype.”

My granddaughter is high functioning autistic too and teenage years were difficult. She is a young woman now with a university degree, a job, her own flat and a fiance. It does get better. I hope the psychotherapy goes well.

By the way, it's important to remember that there's nothing wrong with being autistic. It's just a different way of perception. Regard it as a gift, not a disability.

It is good that they can help these young people now. I have a daughter who would come into that category and she is very, very bright. Bright enough to realise things were NQR and she is married and living a good life. It is hard on the parents when they are young, really hard but you get through it with a great deal of heartache and stress in our case. That daughter became a Christian and that made a huge difference. I can’t explain it here but she became loving, gentle and considerate of others almost overnight. Praise the Lord. Hard to explain and I know that opens this post to the usual ridicule and scorn but that was how it was.

Have you read 'the curious incident of the dog in the night time'- just such an eye opener.

My brother was 85 last week. A absent minded, wonderful professor- who did a PhD at Grenoble Uni in 1963-64, when we didn't even know what IT was?

No diagnosis then- but he clearly was different. He didn't like sport, prefered classical music and wrote and read poetry. Hugely intelligent, as no one else was- and it was what it was.

It is only when I watched Rainman that it 'jumped on me' that he was the same (but not so evident). It has made his life sometimes difficult, but also amazing in so many ways, and he is much loved and admired by many.

Hope you can see all the positives, stay calm and encourage without forcing 'normality'.

Any experience? I lived it, when I was 13!

It's a very difficult few years around that age. It will get easier, just give her as much support as you feel able, without forcing her. There are support networks for young people like her that didn't exist 55 years ago. Therapy may or may not work but don't be too disappointed if it doesn't.

That's the key Lathyrus

I think friendship is a bit different when you’re autistic. Often what is meant is someone alongside you, doing the same thing. Or not even alongside you literally. Computer games websites where you can play a game with people, talk mostly about the game and also turn them off when you want are good friendships.

Or getting together with people doing an activity together works when the focus and the talk is on the activity.

It’s been a real learning curve for me to realise that withdrawal isn’t the same as rejection and that togetherness can mean just knowing someone is there, rather than communicating with them😬 I think the big challenge has been to realise that my idea of what makes my life good isn’t the same as theirs.

There isn't 'another side'. Autism is for life. It's not necessarily a negative thing. With the right support, environment ultimately job and potentially partner, she'll be fine. Don't worry. Accept her as she is and be a consistent loving Gran.

Thank you all for your helpful comments. It's just so good to know there are plenty of others out there. Funnily enough, she wants a cat but they already have a dog so will have to tread carefully there. I will certainly look at those books. I may have got the word psychotherapy wrong. I think she is a child psychologist. She is also at a pressurised grammar school and is changing schools anyway after Christmas. She hates her present one so much that the new one can't be any worse! Thanks again for all your input. It is so comforting and I'm sure we'll all come out the other side. Anyway, I can't wait to see them all at Christmas.
One final thing, DGD has a younger sister who is beginning to play up as she isn't getting so much attention. Families eh?!

Have you see the book 'All cats have Asperger's?' Also 'All dogs have ADHD'.
Both spot on.
I'm being facetious but cats are particularly good pets for people with autism. I have also heard very good results from a small charity that matches ASD people to specific dogs. Cats and dogs are uncomplicated friends for people.

My 13-year-old grandson has also been diagnosed with high functioning autism. He seems pretty ‘normal’ to me, but I don’t see a lot of him, because we live at opposite ends of the country. I tend to think it might be a fashionable diagnosis for those who don’t quite fit the norm.

The only unusual thing I have ever noticed is that he doesn’t get excited by the things that most kids get excited about. He takes life very quietly, rather as if he is outside looking in.. He was at a very high-achieving school (private) but found it too stressful, so he has been moved to a good comprehensive where he is less conspicuous and seems much happier so far. When he was at the previous school he missed quite a lot of days - he just wouldn’t go. The school was very helpful and sympathetic, but he couldn’t cope with the competitive atmosphere.

He enjoys sports, especially football and go-karting, and he loves his cat.

What do you mean by psychotherapy? That particular approach is actually contraindicated in autism.
Addressing the underlying anxiety and thus managing the autism is more useful and practical.
She's still your DGD. Nothing has changed.