Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Page 7 of 7 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Granny in the corner

(154 Posts)
Add comment | Report
dragonfly46 Tue 17-Jan-23 13:06:23

Absolutely Maw I agree totally.
I love my DGC very much but I am aware they are not my children - they are a bonus in my life.
They live too far away to see often but when we do there is definitely a connection.
I would not like to be responsible for them I just enjoy them.
We are seeing them this weekend and I have to say I am just as or more excited to see my DS.

Add comment | Report
mrshat Tue 17-Jan-23 13:00:30

I totally agree Maw. I'm at the stage of "I'll hear from them when they need something" and that is, more often than not, the case. However, it is hard to accept this getting old (75) business. wink

Add comment | Report
Grandmabatty Tue 17-Jan-23 12:14:36

I think the shift is inevitable isn't it? I'm still providing childcare at 64 but as the boys get older, that'll fade to dropping them off at school and picking them up. I've always had a fairly active social life but that'll dwindle I expect as I and my friends get older and less able to travel unaided. I, too, have the desire to be needed but I'm coming to terms with not being a huge part of my children's lives but on the periphery. Philip Larkin spoke about younger women when he said, 'something is pushing them to the edges of their lives'. I probably paraphrase but he could be talking about me.

Add comment | Report
MawtheMerrier Tue 17-Jan-23 12:06:20

This is not a TAAT - but prompted by a thread about Christmas and reminded me of the “granny in the corner” experience.
I know many of you are incredibly active and play a pivotal part on the lives of your AC and DGC so I may be guilty of generalising.
But doesn’t there come a point where we cross over from providing all sorts of support to being “granny in the corner”.
However kind, inclusive welcoming our AC are, there’s a shift.
Sometimes I feel I am being unreasonable and want it “every which way” - to be needed, to be felt capable of taking over in an emergency, of going the extra mile in being there but then I find myself thinking Hang on, I’m 75, I haven’t got the energy or fitness I had and also, I have a life of my own, friends and activities which I can’t just drop at a moments notice to babysit (except in an emergency)
On re-reading that it does indeed sound very unreasonable!
But from being central to our family life when they were babies and young, I feel myself drifting outwards to that “corner” ! Being widowed doesn’t help because I have to form a social life of my own and perhaps (?) I am getting more set in my ways. I have friends who seem to “live through” their AC and GC , good luck to them, but IMO that way sadness lies because the little ones grow into big ones and while they may love and tolerate Granny, we are not central to their lives.
Sorry to go on, and if you have been, thanks for reading!

Page 7 of 7 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |