Granny in the corner

Beautiful message Lexisgranny! You sound like a writer!

I totally agree with everything you said .. you expressed it beautifully…

MawtheMerrier, from the picture meme posted "grannies are the only grown-ups who have time for you"

True.

With 16 GC and GGC from ages about 40 years old to a few months, listening is the best gift we have to offer them, so we do.

I’m currently in the middle of a two week session of caring for my 10 month old and almost 4 year old GS’s.

I’m 59 with RA and limited mobility/ use of my hands and wrists. My husband has been ill during their visit so care has fallen to me.

When the little one became sick a few days ago I was overwhelmed with lack of sleep and also trying to tend him and handle his older brother’s active play and constant questions.

Honestly, I would have loved being granny in the corner for a few days then! But, no, I don’t think as long as I am able, my AC or GC will see me that way. I always have activities and special crafts ready to hand. I’m the one who pulls family meals and visits together.

I’m sure one day another will take over but for now I’m granny on the move. 😊

My best friend doesn’t have grandchildren, I have six and have been through various dramas with them, so we have obviously discussed it, but we have lots of other things to talk about.
I think a long friendship, where we know each other’s children well, is slightly different, hope so anyway, I never get out photos, never have for anyone, but my house is full of them, so they would be hard to miss.

Merlotgran I am the naughty gran who will also quite happily have my wine 🍷topped up thanks!

My DGC are 12 and 15 and I have seen no diminution in their desire to visit us. The whole family come and stay for a week every school holiday, both parents are academics. and we go north around half term.

We are a family who talk and discuss things a lot and the older the children are the more they take part. I noticed this Christmas that DGS, now, instead of slipping down from the table after meals to get back to his book, was staying at the table and joining in the discussions and making thoughtful and interesting contributions to the dscussions.

As for carrying photos around, I never have, close friends who know us as a family, and see the DGC now and again, will be shown the occasional photo, but otherwise, not at all.

I go to the GN meet-ups in Oxford and I cannot remember anyone producing photos of grandchildren at any meet-up. We had other things to talk about.

Callistemon I am much more interested to hear what people's older grandchildren are doing. Babies are just - well - babies. Older children have interests, skills and achievements.

I meet up now and again with a small group of friends.

I am now beginning to feel a bit like ‘friend in the corner’, as my youngest GC is 15, whereas the others have much younger GC. In fact, two of them have new GC in just the last few days.

At our gatherings, out come the phones and the numerous pictures, plus the inevitable chat about feeding, cuddles, milestones etc.

Don’t mean to sound a grouch, but I used to make a point of not saying much about any of mine unless asked, as I was the only one with GC, and I didn’t want to bore them.

So I sit there, definitely ‘GITC’ but for a different reason.

No one very interested in the doings of older GC when there are babies to be oohed and aahd over, which is to be expected.

Well @ M0nica, we can redress that balance can’t we?

MawtheMerrier, you may not, but a lot of people are.

fluttERBY123

Oh, I have been looking forward to being granny in the corner for years, best seat in best corner, obv. GC do grow up and become more distant it's the way of the world. How nice to sit and throw in.the odd comment and know they know more than you now about the world today. And if you're lucky and they are independent and trouble free (some hopes) you can sit and enjoy being brought cups of tea.

Never mind the☕️ I’d want my 🍷topped up!

Every time I sneak off to the corner somebody finds me a job. 🤔

M0nica

Why are only talking about very young grandchildren? They a lot of years between an under 5 and an over 15

I wasn’t aware that we were.
My grandchildren range from 12 1/2 to 16 months.

Why are only talking about very young grandchildren? They a lot of years between an under 5 and an over 15

MawtheMerrier

I’ve just found this (again) and it is a very sweet picture of what a granny is.
In the corner or not - I think this is the granny I actually want to be.

Indeed "Grannies - only grown-ups who have time for you."

When I'm with GC I do focus more to them than my daughters seem to, but I haven't as much to do either. Different relationship. I'm one who walks with children and dogs, enjoys cooking, and reads books over and over.

Unclear why grannie wouldn't have cute knickers - I do.

I agree with M0nica, I’d like to keep my own teeth if possible, and I think my underwear is fairly average.

As awkward as ever, me, that is the grandma, I do not want to be, bits of it, yes, But all, or even most of it, no.

😄

I want to be that Granny!

I want to be a Granny who listens but not one who interferes.
I do try.

I’ve just found this (again) and it is a very sweet picture of what a granny is.
In the corner or not - I think this is the granny I actually want to be.

Hetty58

MawtheMerrier, I seem to have adjusted very well to being in the background, in the corner. We make major adaptations (well, most of us) through all the phases of our lives - and that's how it should be.

My friend (the obsessive one) was madly in love with her husband. Everything she did was for him, he was adored, worshipped and waited upon. It was pathetic and painful to witness.

When the kids came along - all that was transferred to them and he always looked sad. |She never relaxed the apron strings, was overly involved, needed to be needed, resisted their independence and grieved when they flew the nest (asap).

With the grandkids, of course, the same smothering involvement, a life lived entirely for them. When they became teenagers - she had the inevitable breakdown!

Your friend is either my sister or her exact duplicate. Sad.

Sometimes it's a relief to sit in the corner with a especially in their houses and our offers to help are declined 🙂

if I became 'geanny in the corner', I doubt that I would notice, I have so many other interests that I was pursuing, I would be glad of the extra time for them.

MawtheMerrier, I seem to have adjusted very well to being in the background, in the corner. We make major adaptations (well, most of us) through all the phases of our lives - and that's how it should be.

My friend (the obsessive one) was madly in love with her husband. Everything she did was for him, he was adored, worshipped and waited upon. It was pathetic and painful to witness.

When the kids came along - all that was transferred to them and he always looked sad. |She never relaxed the apron strings, was overly involved, needed to be needed, resisted their independence and grieved when they flew the nest (asap).

With the grandkids, of course, the same smothering involvement, a life lived entirely for them. When they became teenagers - she had the inevitable breakdown!

Actually I have thought of the rent-a-gran idea as well. For all those young families living apart from their parents, or older women wanting a connection with young families it would be such a great way to connect. There is a 'volunteer grandparent' society in one city in our province, but the trend has not gone province-wide.

I often thought of my daughter who lives away from us in a city where she has good friends, but no relatives. Two sets of grandparents (including us) visit a few times a year, but the value of having nearby grandparents is good for the children and the adults.

MawtheMerrier : Rentagram could charge extra for a Gran who can slip between roles at the flick of a slice of lemon (and a top up of gin).

Just had an unexpected message from DGD aged 12+ : “ hi grandma can I hang out with you tonight ? L ( twin brother ) is having a sleepover here and I don’t want to be the only girl.”
With pleasure my lovely !