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Have had enough

(10 Posts)
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Jodyjay4 Mon 13-Mar-23 10:37:08

My gd 15 ran away from her mums in December and came to mine. We came to a arrangement that she can stay at mine for 3 months while her and her mum sort things out. I’ve had no financial help towards her. She was ment to go home last Sunday but her mum has now refused to have her in her home saying she can’t cope with her as she is a problem and if I don’t want her she will be put in voluntary care. So off course she is now living at mine and I feel my whole world has been turned up side down I’m going though menopause and I feel angry everyday that my self and gd have been put in this situation. Am I being selfish for wanting her to go home and her mum be a mum to her a proper mum

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Theexwife Mon 13-Mar-23 11:11:57

You are not being selfish and have been put in an awful position by your daughter. You do not say why your daughter cannot cope with her and if your granddaughter is feeling unwanted by her mother. Knowing her mother does not want her makes it impossible for her to go back there.

You can make this a formal arrangement and receive financial help.

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Shelflife Mon 13-Mar-23 11:12:26

Of course you are not being selfish! Obviously I am unaware of why mum finds her daughter so difficult. How has she been in your care , have you found her difficult to care for? Whatever is happening this really is not your responsibility and of course you want her mum to be a proper mum. Would it be possible to speak to Mum and see if she is willing to accept professional help and guidance to ease her and her daughter through trauma.

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Germanshepherdsmum Mon 13-Mar-23 11:14:37

Didn’t you post about this very recently? A lot of good advice was given.

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Greenfinch Mon 13-Mar-23 11:18:35

Yes you have already asked this question. Did you read any of the replies?

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Namsnanny Mon 13-Mar-23 11:26:19

Have you anyone to speak to, about how you feel?
Or are you hoping by venting on GN you will feel a little better?

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ExDancer Mon 13-Mar-23 11:30:56

I didn't see your previous post, but the fact that you've raised it again indicated the answers weren't helpful.
I'm sure there will be financial help but it will probably involve Social Services. This is something everyone tries to avoid, but they are kind caring people, very overworked, but I'm sure will help you.
We have several members with legal training who I'm sure can offer sensible advice on any financial help you can get from the govt.
Basically, are you able to look after this girl through the coming difficult years - physically, financially and emotionally, (remember how your own daughter was). Have you been super-nice to GD and let her have her own way? Is that going to have to change so that she helps you and does her share of housework and isn't just treating you as a hotel.
Its a h^all of a commitment.
Have yoi had a good in depth discussion with GD - does she understand your problems?

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Joyfulnanna Fri 24-Mar-23 17:29:51

So sorry you're going through this, it's not fair and your daughter should be ashamed of herself

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Fleurpepper Fri 24-Mar-23 17:31:59

Just can't imagine - and NO, you are not being unfair.
You need help.

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Hetty58 Fri 24-Mar-23 17:42:40

Your post on the 8th March asks exactly the same questions - so why start a new one?

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