Advice

We don't talk to our grandchildren about topics their parents disapprove or find wrong. Is that what you are asking?

If so, parents draw the line for their children.

Of course, you're always free to ask Daughter plus children to move on, if that would be better for you.

I agree Shelflife, good post.

You should be able to but that doesn’t mean it would be advisable.

If they are with you for a short time I would keep quiet, falling out with someone when you have to stay in the same house it at best uncomfortable at worst could cause a huge rift.

If they are with you long term then you need to discuss the rules for the children and come to a compromise as to what is required and both parties stick to it.

Yes parents set the boundaries. However ............ If they are in your house I think you and your wife are entitled to lay down a few rules. They are living with you and your wife and any boundaries set are to facilitate this situation. If your daughter is not happy with that she must make other arrangements. Sit down with your wife and both talk to your daughter. Children do understand the boundaries may be different when with Grandma / grandad than they are at home with mum. If they are to remain with you for some time you and your wife have to be comfortable with that.b

Did you have rules and boundaries bringing up your daughter and any siblings. Now you have grandchildren living with you do these rules and boundaries still apply. Is your daughter setting the rules and boundaries? you need to be more specific.
Your daughter and GC are with you because of marital breakdown or something similar and need support until she can be more independent with the GC.
What is your wife’s perspective on the situation as she has a voice it’s her house too what’s her opinion.

Those words 'right and wrong' ring alarm bells. Do you have strict religious views that perhaps include negative views on homosexuality and same sex marriage, while your daughter is more liberal - or vice versa?

You also do not mention the children's ages. Are they 4 and 6 or 14 and 16?

I am always wary of these very unspecific demands for support. So much depends on the particular family circumstances.

Without knowing specifics, as a general rule, it’s a good idea for you to remain the grandparent and allow her to do the parenting.

If you are all living together, it is important you are all on the same page on how to manage the children's behaviour.

This should be led by the parent/parents

Children need consistency

You need to make it clear what your boundaries are in regards to how your home and yourself are treated

You need to listen to your daughter on how she would like her children spoken too and what consequences for negative behaviour choices should be

If you aren't happy, perhaps it's time to suggest different living arrangements, carefully so that the relationship is not damaged

Not enough information about what prompted her response, Rusty. The living arrangements which you describe are always difficult, and usually require some compromise all around, as multi-generational boundaries seldom exactly coincide. I do hope that the arrangement is temporary. If it's likely to be longer term I would suggest that you have a quiet sit-down and jointly agree on some house rules, recognising that you are the homeowner and they are the visitors.

Why is she with you? Is it temporary or permanent? When my GDs visit it is ‘my house ,my rules ‘. But if this is going to be a long term thing I should have a good quiet talk about expectations. With some compromises ,probably, on both sides.
Good luck

Could you please provide details about those boundaries?

Does your right or wrong match your daughter's right or wrong?

Any plans for them to move?