Anxious nannie

I find running and lots of exercise helps. We go outside, no danger to the house - walk, run, skip, eat picnic food, splash in puddles. Move the cars from the garage - play wild out of the rain.

I find bribery works a treat 😄 we're due to look after our two for a week. I'm armed with supplies of all that will entertain them. It's not a regular thing though so not so bad!

Bungle, do think about changing this arrangement. It may well be too much for you.

I have one set of 'fairly normal' grandkids, another who are perfect little angels - and the third lot, those uncontrollable, wild, noisy, destructive devils (I call them feral grandkids). I don't look after any of them on a regular basis - I do know my limits!

She will pick up on your anxiety. Keep things simple - only ever two choices e.g. "would you like jam or cheese on your sandwich" "this book or that book". Ignore bad behaviour as much as possible and respond quickly and enthusiastically to good behaviour. If able, take them out for walks, library book clubs etc.

But talk to their parents and explain you are struggling. They need to speak to the child and ensure she behaves at your house, otherwise you will not be able to look after them.

I have DGC of similar ages and one (who has ASD and possible PDA) is extremely challenging. My advice is to keep demands to the minimum eg only those things which are a danger to themselves or others or cause irreparable damage to property. any other task or demand can slide. Demands for young children and especially those with PDA would include even things which you do not think of as stressful eg hurry up and get your shoes on or choose what you want for dinner

Have you thought about taking them to playgroup, it will tire them out so they are more likely to behave at your home?

"it's making me anxious as I can't get them to do as I say."

Kids that age do not follow instructions as you wish they did

I would recommend to refresh on childhood phases and reset your expectations

If babysitting is not good for you, you can always change your mind and cancel the arrangements

I agree with Septimia different rules at Nanny's house. However you do say you are very anxious Bungle maybe you need to separate out the things which need your attention and the smaller things which you can pass on. Choose your battles and don't stress about everything. Good luck.

Anxiety is my middle name, whether they are with me or safe in the arms of their parents. I have 6 GC of varying ages ( I don’ t have them with me altogether of course) . I feel guilty when I say this. The 4 year old gets my old iPad, on which I have downloaded a few games. He plays with it for hours. It’s wrong I know, but I leave the disciplining to the parents. It keeps him busy 😂

I think it might help if you establish that, in your home, they do what you say and things aren't done the same as in their home. It'll take a while for it to work, but I'd give them 2 or 3 chances to do what they're told and if they don't, then restrictions follow. These might be no television, no going to the park, no treats. Reward them when they obey. It'll be hard work for you to start with but will, hopefully, pay off in the end.

I had to do something similar with a class of children. It took a lot of effort at first but in the end they were a joy to work with.