Daughter gatekeeping granddaughter

MercuryQueen

Not to mention c-sections, epidurals, inductions, versions, forceps…

All very useful when needed. But none are a function of the physiological process that is normal birth.
Birth is NOT a medical procedure.
I do wonder whether anyone on here has ever seen a spontaneous, un-medicalised delivery

Calipso

Hithere
She has just been through a medical procedure

Crikey, have I missed something? When did birth become a medical procedure..... 🤔

Pretty sure that it was multiple medical procedures when I gave birth as it involved: drips, epidural, 60+ stitches, resuscitation (baby), emergency surgery (me), intensive care (both), multiple blood transfusions (me)

Smileless2012

I agree BlueBelle.

So do I!

Grams2five

It’s also entirely possible the needs were always the same but the old advice was wrong.

Yep. Much like everything else, as we progress in education, science, new discoveries are made that make former knowledge obsolete.

The back to sleep is an excellent example. When my eldest was born, I was taught at prenatal classes to NEVER put a baby to sleep on their back, only on their tummy, otherwise they’d choke on spit up.

By the time my next baby was born, it had switched to only on their back, and the rate of SIDS has dropped dramatically.

Car seats are another example. Didn’t exist when I was a baby, now it’s law.

It’s also entirely possible the needs were always the same but the old advice was wrong.

Not to mention c-sections, epidurals, inductions, versions, forceps…

Calipso

Hithere
She has just been through a medical procedure

Crikey, have I missed something? When did birth become a medical procedure..... 🤔

If getting a mole removed is a medical procedure, surely getting our bits or bodies sewn back up after delivery counts as a medical procedure. 🤔

TerriBull

I sometimes wonder if posts such as this are put out there to elicit a reaction, a combination of the goady and unreasonable. Wait to be invited, it's as others have said, the bonding takes place between the primary carers, grandparents are down the pecking order and your daughter needs to feel her own way, it doesn't have to be a carbon copy of your experiences.

I dear I do hope this was a wind up. Yikes.

wash your mouth with soap!

readsalot

Someone has been told, I take it. Things change regarding what is best for babies and new parents and we have to respect that even if we don’t agree. My mother said I was spoiling DD by not letting her cry for ages and also feeding her on demand instead of every four hours, to train her. !!!!! Bide your time and wash your mouth.

The advice is always changing but babies and their needs don't.

lyleLyle

Calipso

Hithere
She has just been through a medical procedure

Crikey, have I missed something? When did birth become a medical procedure..... 🤔

You missed centuries apparently .

You should inform the clinicians around the world that birth isn’t a medical event. Apparently every OB in existence missed the memo.

Procedure does not mean the same as event so you have changed the narrative.
Fortunately midwives have the wisdom and education to nurture women on their journey through birth, whatever that journey may be.
But sneer as you both will, it is NOT a procedure.
We digress. Back to the thread.

Someone has been told, I take it. Things change regarding what is best for babies and new parents and we have to respect that even if we don’t agree. My mother said I was spoiling DD by not letting her cry for ages and also feeding her on demand instead of every four hours, to train her. !!!!! Bide your time and wash your mouth.

Lyle 19:27
Brilliant

I’ve learned two things on this thread. 1. Birth isn’t a medical event. 2. Parents bonding with their newborn is so problematic (for whom exactly?) that the benefits of parent/newborn bonding must be re-examined. That makes so much sense. An exhausted set of new parents bonding with their newborn should instead play host and show off a new human like a prized pony…because it’s what everyone else around them would prefer .

Calipso

Hithere
She has just been through a medical procedure

Crikey, have I missed something? When did birth become a medical procedure..... 🤔

You missed centuries apparently .

You should inform the clinicians around the world that birth isn’t a medical event. Apparently every OB in existence missed the memo.

Stitches, IV, c-section, medical personnel taking care of mother and child....

Siope

I do indeed, MeeylStreep - and in front of his son and grandson too.

I also remember the Queen reportedly telling Brian Blessed ‘f**k means spreading the seed’, Anne describing someone as ‘a f**king incompetent twat’ and Mike Tyndall practically chanting ‘bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t’ at Matt Hancock on prime time TV.

He probably didn’t know any swear words until he started mixing with his in-laws…🤣

He probably didn’t know any swear words until he started mixing with his in-laws …🤣
😂 no, of course he'd led a sheltered life playing rugby for Bath and Gloucester and England!

Hithere
She has just been through a medical procedure

Crikey, have I missed something? When did birth become a medical procedure..... 🤔

Light blue touch paper and disappear
I think potty mouthed Claire has gone up in a puff of smoke

I do indeed, MeeylStreep - and in front of his son and grandson too.

I also remember the Queen reportedly telling Brian Blessed ‘f**k means spreading the seed’, Anne describing someone as ‘a f**king incompetent twat’ and Mike Tyndall practically chanting ‘bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t’ at Matt Hancock on prime time TV.

He probably didn’t know any swear words until he started mixing with his in-laws…🤣

Siope

^To be amazed that some of us are bothered by the swearwords used amazes me^ depends what company you move in

Note to self: stop hanging around with senior Tory MPs.

I remember Helen Mirren being intervened on the red carpet where she said she had to watch her language when in the US.
Does anyone remember the lovely Prince Philip telling a photographer to just take the F+&£-#g photo Classic 😂

Actually when my youngest daughter was pregnant last year one of the articles in her guidebook so to speak from her dr was about how a low key post partum time, time alone for the baby and new parents instead of hosting as we once did significantly lowers the risk of ppd and post partum anxiety.

To be amazed that some of us are bothered by the swearwords used amazes me depends what company you move in

Note to self: stop hanging around with senior Tory MPs.

Witzend

The OP aside, I do feel sorry for GPs who are banned from visiting even for weeks, because the parents ‘need time to bond’.

My dd was entirely happy for us to visit and cuddle all 3 babies within hours of birth. She’d have been the same with in laws, only they lived a lot further away. There was never any problem with her or son in law bonding with their babies.

Obviously though we wouldn’t have visited if we had colds or any other infection.

Yes, I agree.

This bonding thing seems to be causing a lot of problems and I wonder if any research has been done to find out if it really has any added benefits or is all a load of hogwash?

Don't most parents bond with their new babies as they're the ones (usually) who are there for them the majority of the time?

What an unpleasant post. However, I agree with others who think it’s a wind up.