losing my three granddaughters and I'm crushed

BlueBelle

This bothers me
*They go everywhere I do, that includes my friend’s house!!!*

I thought that sounded rather creepy.

Reading a bit more of this post maybe the American way of expressing yourself is considered a bit excessive compared to UK ways. Don't know what others think.

This post seems way over the top. You bring your children up to flee the nest and if involved in Grandchildren then an extra blessing BUT they have to make their own way in life.

Be happy for them and don't guilt load them.

Yourself and wife need to make a new life for yourselves, take up new hobbies and interests and focus on each other.

and this I love those girls more than life itself and I cannot lose the loves of my life I d be very concerned for their safety before they move away .

This bothers me
They go everywhere I do, that includes my friend’s house!!!

Not sure if it's a dodgy post as I know of a rather similar situation. Parents moved to stay with son and dil in US when first child was born. Still there 8 years later with 2nd child born a few years later. Now it seems GPs do nearly all childcare (other GPs were also involved initially till ill health prevented them helping). They also look after housework, laundry, most cooking and garden. Bring children to and from school. I'm not sure what the actual parents do, apart from working!

It doesn't seem a very healthy situation to me, and now our friends are worried about what will happen if/when when their health deteriorates.

To me, this over-involvement of grandparents in their children/grandchildren's lives is not good for any of them. Much better for grandparents to have independent lives and interests, as most here on Gransnet do!

I agree GSM his wording is very weird indeed! Must be a scam , he is probably reading our posts with great satisfaction!! If it is not a scam there is something very seriously wrong!

All sounds a bit dodgy to me.
And 🤮

It’s not normal for a 62 year old man to take his grandchildren everywhere he goes and describe them as the loves of his life, best friends and copilots in life. I don’t believe a word of it.

It sounds that the poster has not only sidelined the actual parents but the grand mother as well
What about the other grandparents ?
It all sounds very very peculiar and not very normal at all

My initial shock horror reaction was that there had been some appalling family tragedy - a car crash or some other disaster.
While I do not wish to be totally unsympathetic, OP highlights the dangers of living through your children or grandchildren.
Yes it’s lovely to be the “indispensable “ grandparent, but children grow up and grow away from you.
OP makes it sound as if he has no other life.
A warning to us all?

hmm perhaps yet another spoof..

davmalk has not responded! I wonder why? Very strange.

It sounds like you all live together from your post.. and the parents either both work fulltime or have been sidelined by you and your wife.. this could be a lovely, loving family situation or one that just doesn't suit the parents. Time will tell when they move. If they still want you to be involved then doubtless you will be invited,, but they are not your children

Seems odd to me too.

Me too, Shelflife, in fact, I’m wondering if maybe the parents are taking the opportunity to move because you feel you have ‘raised’ the children.
I apologise if the situation is completely different, but, as said above, you have only given a part of the story.

Just all seems a bit odd to me !!!!????😕

This language is usually used for a romantic relationship

When did you find out they were moving?
If it has been a while, you may need professional help readjusting

From your wording, I’m not sure if you’ve had custody or were very involved grandparents. Did you have custody? If so, when did they transition back to their parents?

I realize this is a big change in your life, but I’m a bit concerned about the language you use, calling them the lives of your life and best friends. That’s a lot to expect of young children.

davmalk - I don’t know how far Tennessee is from California. But at least they are in the same country as you are. My mother had to watch me and her beloved GC, fly away thousands of miles across the seas. I can still see her at the airport viewing area, wiping her tears away. How her heart must have broken.
I am not trying to diminish your pain, but you have to accept it. Your wife should be the love of your life. As someone said earlier, it’s only a 4 hour drive away. It’s nothing really. Your wife and you can visit them at least 6 times a year. Ofcourse you won’t be able to see them daily. But that’s life. My 6 GC live in the same town as me. I see them about once a fortnight., sometimes less, sometimes more, depending on the circumstances, if I’m baby sitting etc etc.
So I hope you will soon learn to accept the situation. Good luck !

Even if they didn't move away the time you spend with them would change over time anyway. Kids grow up, they go to school, they make their own friends, they become more and more independent and live their own lives. We have been childcare for years, but the youngest is about to start full time pre-school and we are needed no longer in that role. We are looking forward to this new phase of life and having more time to do things together - maybe you and your wife need to do the same (and look forward to visiting!)

Could you not move to Tennessee too?

Would your daughter and son-in-law want you to?

I wish mine were 4 hours away last time I went to visit it was 31 hours door to door, don’t feel able to do it again
They are not your children they were lent to you to help with that’s all , not your best friends or your life it hurts but we have to grin and bear it (and my grandkids have their other nan and grandad round the corner to them !!!)

Just over 4 hrs flight time- no big deal really.

Please don't make them feel guilty, and be happy for their new opportunities, and adapt. They will respect you for it.

Shelflife

You need to get a grip on this ! You are certainly not losing your granddaughters , they are moving with their parents. Sorry to seem harsh but on the face of it your behaviour is unnecessary, unless we are not getting the full story.

This, was trying to find the words to say the same. What is the flight time between the two. Be positive and make sure you get there as often as you can. Be prepared to rent a little place nearby so you don't invade too much.