Stories of birth

No I don’t talk or ever have about the actual birth, it was naturally painful but they never needed to know that just how pleased we were to have them.

Grammaretto I get what you say. I probably didn’t put my point over correctly. My meaning was that I had not experienced natural child birth. No doubt some will say ‘lucky you’.

Mollygo yes!

One of the reasons I insisted on a home birth for #3 was because if I had still been in England they would have insisted on it whereas just 4 years later in Scotland, I was told home births were too dangerous and not recommended.
Rules to suit the staff not the mothers

Grammaretto I bet it's still in the archive.

I did help with an academic paper on the ethics of childbirth. I was the only person in the cohort who had had both a recent home birth and a hospital birth in Scotland and my df knew the professor I don't remember ever seeing the finished work. The baby is now in his mid 40s.

I found talking about my experiences with a lovely group of mums cathartic

I told my children the “funny” bits like the lady in the bed opposite who had a 10lb 4oz boy with so little trouble, whilst some of us struggled with our 6-8lb babies.
Or the rule about no coloured underwear on the ward, even when we were out of bed doing the morning touch your toes exercise routine with nurse Trunchbull!
Or the fact that, in the space of 2 years, the rule went from an obligatory stay of 10 days to How quickly can we send you home? idea.
My best memory is gas and air! Oh the delight of gas and air! “Take the mask away from your face in between contractions!”
No chance!

Like Bluebelle, my first birth was very unusual and traumatic. I would be lying if I said I have forgotten it.

If I hadn't attended ante natal classes with the NCT I think I would have been in a much worse state. Fortunately the elderly lady teaching us was a retired midwife so the possibility of this particular procedure was mentioned to us. I was the only "lucky" one in the class to experience it. It was a terrible experience but it saved my daughter's life.

I agree with NotSpaghetti's last post. The process of birth and women's experience of it really hasn't changed!
The original book series of "Call the midwife" is full of birth stories for anyone interested. Also, there are sites online where women have posted their birth stories - some of the American "natural" birth ones are weird. I read one where the mother gave birth alone, under a tree in the garden- her choice!

I haven't written it down, but I should do, as all 3 have a good story, I have told them their birth stories though, just the interesting bits.

My first was 6wks prem. after I flew back from South Africa where we lived then, to be my sister's maid of honour, only to be told I was too fat to walk down the aisle [not said in those words of course]. My D was in an incubator for 2 weeks, I stayed in hospital for 1 week. About 19 hours from start to finish and born at 12.02pm weighing 4Ibs 11ozs. My pains started after I had spent all day walking round looking for a house to buy whilst I was back in UK, my H was still in S. Africa and had booked a flight for the birth, which he missed of course. No one could get in contact with him in S. Africa as in 1980s, to let him know he had a baby girl. We had sort of chosen a name, but after seeing my newborn baby with a wrist band saying Baby D our surname, I named her, only for my H to arrive and say NO! we chose S, so it was changed to that which my AD has said she's thankful of.

My second, we were back living in the UK then, was 2 weeks prem. and I remember driving to the hospital with a full moon right ahead of us. He took 2 hours from start to finish and he was born at 3.34am weighing 6Ib 5ozs.

My third was born in The Netherlands where we were living then. I delivered her myself at home in the bathroom, with my H jumping up and down in the doorway not knowing what to do. She was born within 15mins of my waters breaking. My H phoned the midwife after I'd jumped out of bed, the midwife [called Vogelsong, meaning birdsong] asked if I was in pain, the reply was 'no', so she said called back when the pains start, which of course they did the minute the phone was put down. The midwife took 30mins or more to arrive after baby was born, I was told to stay where I was on the toilet [yes really!] When she arrived, I was told to stay put whilst she saw to the baby. I was then helped to bed and had stitches without any anaesthetic! which was as painful as given birth. She was born at about 2am and weighed 6lbs.

Well, I now have my record, thank you very much

Helen63

There was a wonderful tv series (and book) called Labour of Love that had an episode about birth. I was thinking that now I’m retired I could duplicate the record of such experiences of women today who birthed many years past. What do you all think?

Didn't Sheila Kitzinger (and others) do this years ago?

I think birthing is exactly as it was all those years ago...

Good, Bad, Quick, Slow, Damaging, Healing...

I think the medicalisation of birth is similar (with different indignities, benefits and challenges). We still have too few midwives and not enough real choice.

Would it actually add anything?

winterwhite i think that you can talk to anyone about general things about a birth without going into great detail. My mother told me I was three weeks overdue, so she was taken into hospital for induction and she told me that wartime conditions meant it was 2 days after I was born before she heard or saw from anyone. It was nearly a week before she heard from my father, away on war service.

That sort of information is both general and not intimate.

It is a family joke that DD's arrival in this world was as rapid as DS's was slow and that it typifies who they are. DS has always hated change and just didn't want to change one location for another, while DD is always rushing around trying new things going new places.

Again, broad detail that feeds into DC personalities without giving any intimate detail.

I share the concern of Millie23. Look at some of the OP’s subsequent posts.
For myself, certainly not re talking to my adult DD about their births. After the stage of endlessly comparing each moment with friends from my ante-natal groups I’ve felt that there cannot be too little said on the subject,

Visiting hour.

I have told them how different it was in 1947 and in 1949 to now. Then husbands were sent away back to work while wives were giving birth. During the ten days in hospitable days were Wednesdays and Sundays for two hours

I have shared it with my 2 girls yes. They didn't seem to be particularly interested or bothered by it.

Birth of daughter 1 - I had just turned 20, went into labour and rang my mum. She cycled up to where I lived at the time and brought me a scotch egg "to keep my energy up." then cycled home again. My husband (at the time) said I had really better be in labour because he was skint and we would have to walk back from the hospital if not. 20 hours later, after a lot of syntometrine to try to speed things up, she was born. I was torn to shreds.

Birth of daughter 2 - I was almost 43. The birth was very different because I was classed as a geriatric mother and was a bit overweight so they probably thought I might die in childbirth so a lot of care was taken - flight socks, as much painkiller as I needed etc. So a lot easier.

I am not with either of my daughters dads any longer - I felt a bit let down by them during the experience to be honest - obviously it was down to a lot more than the childbirth experience though.

I have discussed my experiences of birth with my two daughters. Both births were horrendous in different ways. The birth of my elder daughter was so bad that it was referred to the NCT as a case of what shouldn’t happen . They interviewed me to ask how it could be changed for my second birth . This was a much better experience but the early stages if the pregnancy were a nightmare that took me a long time to recover from. All this affected and informed the choices made by my daughters and their experiences were very positive as a result .

My dad was married to a woman who didn’t want or couldn’t have children. They were divorced, something quite unusual and rather shameful back then. He then married my mum who was 12 years younger than him. She had miscarriage after miscarriage. One baby, a boy, did reach full term. Not sure if he was still born or died shorty afterwards but dad wouldn’t let them take the body away. Mum always said if she had a baby that lived it would be on the front pages of the newspapers and I was because I was a New Year’s Day baby. Born premature but thankfully healthy. It must have been awful for my mum given that dad had married her because he was desperate to have children. She spent some time in a mental hospital years later: I don’t think she ever recovered from those years of losing babies. I never talked to her about it, even when I had my own babies although I never thought it was a given that you married and automatically had children. I didn’t believe that I would have a baby until she was born and I was holding her. Mum did tell me that she had two wombs which is what caused her problems. I wish I could turn the clock back and talk to her about it. They never had another child. I was it: the only one. My daughter isn’t interested in her birth story or mine.

Granless

I had two boys both by Caesarean - I have always felt cheated.

you really must not. It does not matter at all how your baby was delivered. The important thing is to have a healthy baby unlike so many who didn't make it.

I had two boys both by Caesarean - I have always felt cheated.

Callistemon21

sazz1

Millie22

I have a concern about this thread.

Why what is your concern?

New poster starting the thread?
Posters too forthcoming and helpful?
Book? TV series? Film?

Gosh, I never thought of that.
#gullible of Glasgow. 😠

sazz1

Millie22

I have a concern about this thread.

Why what is your concern?

New poster starting the thread?
Posters too forthcoming and helpful?
Book? TV series? Film?

I wondered that too sazz1

Many are what? sarahcyn?
Sorry, seem to have lost the context here!

Millie22

I have a concern about this thread.

Why what is your concern?

When I was pregnant with my 1st I was surprised if not horrified by some of the birth stories I heard. It was as though I had been admitted to a private club only mothers allowed.