Just wanted some advice. I have one DS who is married with children. Whilst we are comfortable, my DIL comes from a much richer and more upper class family. My son is incredibly bright, going to Oxford and has a really well paid good career. He married a lovely girl who he met there who is always very polite and welcoming but there has always been an undercurrent of knowing that we are not the normal type of people she is used to. She isn’t snobby or rude and is welcoming but it’s just an unacknowledged obvious thing.
Her family are much richer then ours, her father is incredibly successful (they own 5 houses) and are obviously very generous with the grandchildren which we are not able to be. They are also very generous with ds/DIL which we can’t be. For example I found out her parents give her £5000 as a gift to buy something nice for Christmas. Again they are never anything but polite to us, but it’s clear that we aren’t their sort of people.
My grandchildren are just so different to us, they have been sent to private school and whilst they do seem to love us, are quite clearly much closer to her family. Over Christmas I used the words settee and lounge and was corrected by my GD, my DIL winced with embarrassment as she obviously wants me to feel welcome but obviously my GC are being taught not to use ‘lower-class’ words like us. Another example is stockings. We still do stockings for our children (2) which are cheap and cheerful, but I recently found out that when my DS has Christmas with his in laws they do him a stocking with really nice presents. Now I feel like it was rude for me not to do one for my DIL, but she wouldn’t want our cheap one anyway. When we’ve bought her presents in the past she’s always been very polite but they don’t get used. For example we bought her a footstool we thought she would like, but DS said we shouldn’t have as she is very into interiors and likes to pick everything herself. I’ve only seen it used once and obviously that was to be polite.
I probably sound jealous and of course it would be nice to have more money, but I think it boils down to knowing in my heart we will never measure up to her family in generosity and that they are already so much closer. It doesn’t help we are the ‘paternal grandparents’.
Am very proud of my DS for moving on up in the world and we have a great relationship, but am I just destined to be a poor relation and is there anything I can do.
I feel I have patiently answed all your posts. I don't think I deserve your personal attack Judy so I have reported your post too. Maybe that's what I should have done wh5en this started.
Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.
And I shouldn't have quoted NotSpaghetti I don't know how that happened. I'm no suprised you're an artist if you see words in that way.
NotSpaghetti
Can I (with my tin hat on) just say that some words create different images for me and so they suggest differentmeanings... "fun sponge" makes me think that a person is full of fun - as they find it wherever they go.
Also, someone asked earlier about drawing rooms - if someone asked me what I call my "drawing room" (where I draw) I'd call it my studio.
Sorry Judy. Where have I should have been Where have I been "
Judy54
No one wants to put the knife in, no one wants to hurt you. The only person you are hurting is yourself please show some respect and you will get it in return. Continually lashing out in anger is self destroying. Be the bigger and better person and walk away. Silence says a thousand words.
Where have I "lashing out in anger". I'm not angry Judy; just sad that people can behave this way.
Anyway, I too have reported the thread although I hope it doesn't disturb holiday days.
So, we wait and see.
Can I (with my tin hat on) just say that some words create different images for me and so they suggest differentmeanings... "fun sponge" makes me think that a person is full of fun - as they find it wherever they go.
Also, someone asked earlier about drawing rooms - if someone asked me what I call my "drawing room" (where I draw) I'd call it my studio.
DaisyAnneReturns
So you are now seven or eight, MissInterpreted accusing one person of "attacking" another who herself said she didn't understand a fairly simple post.
Who is being driven out? The eight or the one? Reading your post seems like a direct attempt to do just that. This is an excellent example of group bullying.
I did not say anything to Marydoll that was an attack. If you think I did, quote it.
I too refuse to rise to the bait. It's pointless and pathetic. As I said, no wonder people leave GN precisely because of this nonsense.
kittylester
I have reported this thread.
Good idea kitty.
You’re not alone kitty.
I have reported this thread.
No one wants to put the knife in, no one wants to hurt you. The only person you are hurting is yourself please show some respect and you will get it in return. Continually lashing out in anger is self destroying. Be the bigger and better person and walk away. Silence says a thousand words.
I know you attacked Marydoll, DAR, but I am not so foolish as to be goaded into quoting. Do not consider my refusal to engage as assent. It is not.
👏👏
You know how the newspapers have a “silly season” in August on the assumption that everybody is on holiday and there’s no “real news” ?
This must be Gransnet’s “silly season” as I have rarely seen such a motley collection of weird threads, lost plots and terriers at rabbit holes.
I can think of couple of appropriate NY resolutions …..
MissInterpreted
This thread (or rather, the way in which it has been hijacked) is a perfect illustration of why some posters feel they have been forced out of GN as a result of the hostility to which they have been subjected by one particular member. And it's pointless reporting said person to GN as no action is ever taken.
I agree.
So you are now seven or eight, MissInterpreted accusing one person of "attacking" another who herself said she didn't understand a fairly simple post.
Who is being driven out? The eight or the one? Reading your post seems like a direct attempt to do just that. This is an excellent example of group bullying.
I did not say anything to Marydoll that was an attack. If you think I did, quote it.
Really Iam? You feel I should be content to let these people, who can't explain where I "attacked" Marydoll, as they call it, descend on me as they have - and now you want to start the whole thing again?
So you tell me what I said that was an attack on her. Marydoll took umbridge simply because I was less fulsome with my sympathy than she required and more sympathetic with the member she accused than she wanted to hear.
Now is anyone else wanting to put the knife in? I will be around for a while.
This thread (or rather, the way in which it has been hijacked) is a perfect illustration of why some posters feel they have been forced out of GN as a result of the hostility to which they have been subjected by one particular member. And it's pointless reporting said person to GN as no action is ever taken.
👏👏👏
Well ….. I read the OP and my initial reaction was to decide it seemed unlikely to be genuine. I’ve had a long walk and decided to catch up.
Marydoll - I’m amazed at the persistent attacks and goady responses to those posters who have supported you. The constant refrain from DAR that what she calls the ‘attacks’ from her would stop if only everyone else refrained from commenting.
This has to be one of the most peculiar outbreaks of hostility I’ve seen on gransnet.
Chin up Marydoll
Is it Japanese, Baggs? It’s gorgeous.
Baggs
The word posh is not dreadful. This is my new posh china tea cup. There is nothing dreadul about it being called posh. I could use other words but why when posh describes it exactly, especially when it's compared to what we were drinking china tea from before, which vessels were completely adequate but definitely not posh.
Even when posh is used as a slur, it's not the word that is the problem.
Baggs I love a good tea cup and yours is beautiful, exquisite, fine, gorgeous, quality, pretty, elegant, stylish, luxurious and I could go on.
Baggs that's beautifull. Whose design is it?
Thank you for you thoughtful words pascal. I think the pursuit of justice is always worth the effort. But the pursuit of lunch is going to override it for a while. 
Germanshepherdsmum
I am no longer a solicitor DAR. I am a retired solicitor. I am not going to engage with you. It is futile.
It is, because I didn't Germanshepherdsmum. Your answer comes as no suprise.
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