Granddaughter doesn’t seem to like me

I expect it is just a phase. Eight is a time when children are becoming more aware of everything. I have scoliosis and a slightly bent back, I do remember going to the Panto years ago with the then small GC and the witch had a bent back (I didn't then) which was commented on a lot by one small GC. I wonder if DS and DIL had what they thought was a private conversation about your health and it accidentally got picked up by your GD.
I am sorry you were upset but hopefully it will pass.

Thanks for your replies.
I know really that I shouldn’t have asked for a hug, I’ve just done it a couple of times when DH has got one when they arrive here. I won’t again.

Christmas Eve was trivial really, it was DS telling her off on my account that led to the scowling and silent treatment. It was partly because it was Christmas Eve that I was upset.

I have already considered what you say urmastongran, so I put clean clothes on before we meet, I don’t usually wear perfume and DH says my breath doesn’t smell, but I’ll still try a mouthwash and breath spray before we meet!

She and her sister have both asked why I have a “big lump” on my back. I just say it has gone wonky, and they seemed satisfied with that at the time. Though if they ask again I might explain a bit more.

I don’t want to mention it to DS or Dil yet, they have enough on their plate at the moment.

Fingers crossed it is just a phase that will pass.

One of my DGDs was like this for a while - I just ignored it and continued to treat her as I always would. Several months later she is back to her warm loving self.

I always think it is important in any situation where someone cools off towards you to not jump to the conclusion that it is something to do with you - we don't know what else is going on in their lives.

Whatever it was that made her a bit off for a while, she soon moved on and I think it might have been helpful to her that, whatever her turmoil was, she knew that I and the rest of her family would be as normal.

Definitely talk to your son and see if he has any ideas as to what might be going on. What happened Christmas Day?

Other than that, stop asking for physical affection. If she wants to hug or kiss you, she’ll let you know.

Please don’t take offence. Just a checklist:

Bad breath?
B.O.?
Overpowering perfume?

Sometimes it can be something easily remedied. Rule those out first. Then ask others (not your granddaughter yourself) to enquire. Accept the answer. Back off a bit in the interim - don’t ask for hugs and kisses. No pressure. Just smile.

It might well be a phase that’ll pass. I hope so. Please let us know how things go.

OP, I doubt it is anything to do with your condition. All children go through phases.

Can you think of anything at all that might have changed in the last few months? Or something, no matter how trivial, you may have inadvertently said or done? Have you moved a photograph of her to a less prominent place for example? Children get some very strange notions into their heads.

What did she say to you on Christmas Eve? Would that give you any clues to her thought process? Do you feel comfortable sharing your concerns with your DS or DIL, obviously treading carefully.

I agree with Theexwife ask the parents...out of the GC's earshot of course. Be prepared to accept whatever the reason is.
And be prepared to change something if necessary and possible.

Till then ignore the behaviour. For heavens sake don't ask for a kiss or hug. No adult should do that. And try not to get upset. Be the adult. She is the child and eight is very young. For the time being ignore her as much as is reasonable so you don't see her scowling at you. Hope it turns out happily. It is probably a phase.

i don't think children should be asked for hugs or kisses.
in what way was she rude to you xmas eve.

Get her parents to ask why she doesn’t like you, be prepared for the answer though, it may be something you dont like or agree with but it is the way she feels.

You poor soul. It may be to do with your scoliosis.
You say that she is the only one who "doesn't like you"
Could she have been scared by a fairy story?
She may be ultra sensitive.
I would talk to your DS and someone, not you, can talk to her and explain your condition and how much you need her to be kind

When I was a child in the 1950s there were war injured veterans around who I was irrationally afraid of until I knew better.

Phase, not face

Try asking her sister in a jokey way. My friend's grandson told me he hated me - that was when he was about 7.I laughed it off as just a silly phase which it turned out to be as hes such a lovely teenager now but I do understand why you feel hurt .I was but I hid it. Least said soonest mended with moody children,It certainly wont be your scoliosis.

Midnightblue - please, please, please don’t feel like you do. I have scoliosis too. I don’t think any of my GC have noticed it. I don’t wear tight clothes. Anyway, that’s besides the point. Your granddaughter is going through a face, that’s all. I am the paternal grandma, but I have never felt any less loved than their mum’s mum. She is young, slim, blonde and beautiful. I am the opposite. Children do not notice these things. My daughter’s friend has a much more obvious scoliosis. Her grandchildren adore her.
If it makes you feel any better, my little granddaughters prefer their Grandpa (daughter-in-law’s father) more than their Grandpa. I am divorced, so competition 😂