"Grandparenting " course, would you go? ?

I have had all our GC from young babies, once they were at the toddler stage our AC decided on Granny’s house, Granny’s rules and that is what we have.

I definitely would not consider a grandparenting course, no need, as I talk to our AC and in-laws.

The title is interesting, isn't it? I wouldn't say no to a grandparenting course, if only for the last sentence of the article!
However, the phrase " bringing up our kids" troubles me somewhat. I do/ have done/ will do in the future plenty of Grandma day care. I see this as extra babysitting. Am I bringing up my grandchildren? I'm not sure about that.

NO and I wouldn’t have gone before they were born or after they were born or any other time
Some might feel they need to ‘keep up with modern trends’ I don’t actually like all the modern trends my grand parenting came from my heart and was given with my love

I d managed to bring up three children through some very difficult scenarios and situations and my children were all happy with my help as a Nan I have seven grown grandkids who have happily stayed in contact with me and tell me they love me
That's good enough for me

I like the article, she sounds very sensible.

There’s a 20+ year age gap between my own children so adjusting to new thoughts on childcare has been part of my life anyway. It’s interesting to note that from a friend that she, like me and probably most parents in the 70’s, weaned their babies first onto cereal purées. Her oldest GC are now almost 17 & 19 yo and they were weaned with the baby-led feeding method, where you place finger foods in front of them and they choose what they fancy, no feeding from spoons. She now has a new GC and the preferred weaning method is back to spoon-fed purées, though of fruit and veg, not cereal.

None of my AC have been dictatorial about how we look after our GC, though I actually preferred to have some guidelines as to when they fed/slept etc. We’ve only had day to day care of two of them, due to the others living a long way off, but I’m happy to take my cues from my DD. She says we did a good job of brining her up, because she’s perfect 😂 so she’s happy for us to do our own thing.

I’d say, if anything, I’m more cautious than with my own DC. You know your own children so well but when you care for others, they can be unpredictable. One of my GC, for instance, is terrible for suddenly dashing off when outside so we know to keep a firm grip on her and give her plenty of warnings to stay close. It’s getting better now she’s at school but I am on high alert all the time with her.

Absolutely not. The only thing you need to know is to do as the parents tell you.

I had never even held a baby when I had my first one. None of our friends had children and I'd never had any interest in finding out about them. But I had hand reared two kittens and a baby squirrel so I just hoped a human baby wouldn't be too different (louder though!) When DD had her first I presumed that if I'd reared two children successfully a grandchild wouldn't be too hard. Fortunately DD and I usually think along the same lines and the baby's life carried on as usual whichever of us had got him. The baby care has now become lifts to college but the theory hasn't changed.

TBH just through generally available news/info, I was well aware of modern practices, e.g. ‘back to sleep’ (when I had mine we were firmly told to put them to sleep on their tummies) and rather later introduction of solids.
4 months was normal when I had mine, now we’re told 6, though I dare say quite a few hungrier babies are still given solids before then. I know my Gdd1 at 5 months was actively reaching for anything she saw anyone eating.

As an 'elderly prima gravida', I was 28 when my first child was born, I had at various times read a lot of articles on child care and psychology. But generally I felt that since the human race had been round for a very long time and increased without number in all kinds of circumstamces, small babies were tougher than they looked and combined with commonsense shouldn't be too difficult to deal with - which they weren't.

No, not necessary for me.

Callistemon21

lixy

Advice from professionals has changed so much since my children were babies.
For example, my babies were bathed day1 in hospital whereas GD wasn't bathed for the first 2 weeks to allow the waxy covering on her skin to be absorbed.
I think I'd attend a short course so I was clued in to the present day thinking on practicalities like that.

But I doubt that grandparents would have sole charge of a baby from Day 1.

Most parents would leave instructions when grandparents are left in charge eg - "she's started solids this week, she's dropped her second day-time nap" etc and sensible grandparents would stick to the-rules-- advice.

Quite agree.
I wasn't thinking about being 'in charge' of a tiny baby but just of being up to date and so knowing what to expect. I did have to bite my tongue (and keep control of my eyebrows) quite a lot when youngest GC was born but simply because my own thinking was out of date.

Similarly with 'baby-led weaning' for the older two - which was a new idea to both me and their nursery at the time 12 years or so ago.

I did have to bite my tongue (and keep control of my eyebrows) quite a lot when youngest GC was born but simply because my own thinking was out of date.
Oh yes!!

I think the worst instruction was to keep them awake after they dropped a day-time nap - apparently even two minutes resulted in one DGC in particular finding a second wind until about 10pm!

Certainly NOT

Callistemon with my own dc I swear one minute’s sleep after 3pm = one extra hour of them rampaging round of an evening. 😫 😂

SueDonim

Callistemon with my own dc I swear one minute’s sleep after 3pm = one extra hour of them rampaging round of an evening. 😫 😂

Yes, one of mine was like that too, funnily enough not the parent of the DGD who did the same. She must be more like her aunt than her daddy.

I'd go to cook her dinner then find her on the sofa, eyes drooping 😴

This was another sentence in the article that had me thinking 'yes':
. It’s not the babies they need to learn how to nurture, it’s this tricky new relationship with their child.

Not, I want to add, that the new relationship with my own adult children and their partners was particularly difficult, as it wasn't, but because of the innumerable threads I have read on Mumsnet and an increasing number here here on Gransnet where it seems that grandparents, particularly on the paternal side, can't do right for doing wrong, as the saying goes, when it comes to grandparenting. For example, they are damned if they want regular involvement, and they are damned if they don't, and so on ...

I have no idea if my children realized at the pregnancy-planning stage that they would need me to do childcare, or if that didn't occur to them until halfway through maternity leave. Either way, it certainly hadn't been on my radar, and the fact that I would have to give up on of my jobs seemed irrelevant to them when this need was finally voiced.

Anyway, I agreed. More fool me, some will say, but that isn't particularly relevant.

When I took on the childcare, my sons and dils made me aware of what parenting advice had changed since they were born, so I doubt that classes would have made any difference. Personally, I tried to follow their guidance to the letter, but if I had been the sort of person to ignore it, I probably wouldn't would have been the sort of person to attend classes either!

As others have said, there is something to be said for doing a course if you need a confidence boost, and a first-aid/resuscitation course can give you skills that could help in many scenarios, but beyond that, I thing grandparenting classes are more of a money spinner than a necessity.

If I were asked to attend, I likely would.

We've 4 children, 8 GC - never been asked, but none were particularly nervous new mums either. Some are. Methods change. I'm not so proud assuming I know everything, I'd go - learn advances in childcare.

I typically do as people ask if it's reasonable, logical to me, and will stop any potential arguments - learning is always good, imo.

Callistemon21

^I did have to bite my tongue (and keep control of my eyebrows) quite a lot when youngest GC was born but simply because my own thinking was out of date^.
Oh yes!!

I think the worst instruction was to keep them awake after they dropped a day-time nap - apparently even two minutes resulted in one DGC in particular finding a second wind until about 10pm!

Oh yes. We used to take the twins to Jiggy Wrigglers every Friday morning when they were little. This was to give mum a morning ‘off’ as we looked after the twins when she was working anyway. The instruction was don’t let them fall asleep in the car on the way home otherwise they won’t sleep at nap time after lunch.
Seriously? Have you ever tried to keep not one, but two babies awake, in the car, after a morning’s activity, about an hour before their nap time? We did our best. Grandad drove and I nearly put my neck out I swear that’s the source of all my current neck pain troubles whilst simultaneously turning around to pull funny faces, play finger games, sing a variety of songs, and call their names loudly, and if all else failed, virtually climb over the seat to poke or tickle them! From experience I can tell you it’s not an easy job, and actually I think I deserve a medal for my efforts. It mostly worked and we delivered two hungry and tired babies back into the arms of their mother, and escaped quickly for our own lunch and a bit of peace and quiet.

I suppose I'd do it, were it necessary, but I wouldn't enjoy it..

No, I wouldn't go, it may sound big headed but i am proud of myself for being the grandma that i am.

🤗 ❤

A discussion group for young parents and their parents would perhaps be a good idea. There are so many ways to handle babies these days. There are also many things to think about. Both from the practical side and the attitude to each other and the shift in relationships that inevitably arise. Young parents might listen to someone else's mother telling them what it used to be like. The new grandparents can learn about the new thinking on all sorts of topics. The group can then discuss and compare the new and the old ways in a more detached way. This would lead to a better understanding between the generations.

Probably impossible to implement but it sounds a good idea in theory.

I’d do it without blinking. Knowledge is always good, imo. Be it safety issues changing or whatever, why wouldn’t I want to be as prepared to help my kids if asked, as I could be?

I don’t understand why people sound so insulted by the thought, honestly. There’s no job I can think of that hasn’t changed on the last 20+ years. Why wouldn’t parenting, safety things, and such have altered as well?

I've now read the article and was surprised how apologetic the young lady is for her generation. It made me smile in a few places, particularly when she referred to them as "grantenatal classes".

🤣😂😅

I agree with Mollygo its the younger people need the lessons.

I would happily attend to update myself on the changed advice. Safeguarding Officers, Teachers, Doctors, Gas Engineers, Electricians, Nursery Workers, etc are continually taking update courses. Why should being a Grandparent any different when it comes to learning. If it reassured my adult children too, I'd go just to put their mind at rest.

Anybody who doesn't look back at their parenting and consider they may have made some mistakes seems to be quite arrogant to me. Nobody is perfect and there is always room for improvement.