"Grandparenting " course, would you go? ?

I did have to bite my tongue (and keep control of my eyebrows) quite a lot when youngest GC was born but simply because my own thinking was out of date.
Oh yes!!

I think the worst instruction was to keep them awake after they dropped a day-time nap - apparently even two minutes resulted in one DGC in particular finding a second wind until about 10pm!

Callistemon21

lixy

Advice from professionals has changed so much since my children were babies.
For example, my babies were bathed day1 in hospital whereas GD wasn't bathed for the first 2 weeks to allow the waxy covering on her skin to be absorbed.
I think I'd attend a short course so I was clued in to the present day thinking on practicalities like that.

But I doubt that grandparents would have sole charge of a baby from Day 1.

Most parents would leave instructions when grandparents are left in charge eg - "she's started solids this week, she's dropped her second day-time nap" etc and sensible grandparents would stick to the-rules-- advice.

Quite agree.
I wasn't thinking about being 'in charge' of a tiny baby but just of being up to date and so knowing what to expect. I did have to bite my tongue (and keep control of my eyebrows) quite a lot when youngest GC was born but simply because my own thinking was out of date.

Similarly with 'baby-led weaning' for the older two - which was a new idea to both me and their nursery at the time 12 years or so ago.

No, not necessary for me.

As an 'elderly prima gravida', I was 28 when my first child was born, I had at various times read a lot of articles on child care and psychology. But generally I felt that since the human race had been round for a very long time and increased without number in all kinds of circumstamces, small babies were tougher than they looked and combined with commonsense shouldn't be too difficult to deal with - which they weren't.

TBH just through generally available news/info, I was well aware of modern practices, e.g. ‘back to sleep’ (when I had mine we were firmly told to put them to sleep on their tummies) and rather later introduction of solids.
4 months was normal when I had mine, now we’re told 6, though I dare say quite a few hungrier babies are still given solids before then. I know my Gdd1 at 5 months was actively reaching for anything she saw anyone eating.

I had never even held a baby when I had my first one. None of our friends had children and I'd never had any interest in finding out about them. But I had hand reared two kittens and a baby squirrel so I just hoped a human baby wouldn't be too different (louder though!) When DD had her first I presumed that if I'd reared two children successfully a grandchild wouldn't be too hard. Fortunately DD and I usually think along the same lines and the baby's life carried on as usual whichever of us had got him. The baby care has now become lifts to college but the theory hasn't changed.

Absolutely not. The only thing you need to know is to do as the parents tell you.

I like the article, she sounds very sensible.

There’s a 20+ year age gap between my own children so adjusting to new thoughts on childcare has been part of my life anyway. It’s interesting to note that from a friend that she, like me and probably most parents in the 70’s, weaned their babies first onto cereal purées. Her oldest GC are now almost 17 & 19 yo and they were weaned with the baby-led feeding method, where you place finger foods in front of them and they choose what they fancy, no feeding from spoons. She now has a new GC and the preferred weaning method is back to spoon-fed purées, though of fruit and veg, not cereal.

None of my AC have been dictatorial about how we look after our GC, though I actually preferred to have some guidelines as to when they fed/slept etc. We’ve only had day to day care of two of them, due to the others living a long way off, but I’m happy to take my cues from my DD. She says we did a good job of brining her up, because she’s perfect 😂 so she’s happy for us to do our own thing.

I’d say, if anything, I’m more cautious than with my own DC. You know your own children so well but when you care for others, they can be unpredictable. One of my GC, for instance, is terrible for suddenly dashing off when outside so we know to keep a firm grip on her and give her plenty of warnings to stay close. It’s getting better now she’s at school but I am on high alert all the time with her.

NO and I wouldn’t have gone before they were born or after they were born or any other time
Some might feel they need to ‘keep up with modern trends’ I don’t actually like all the modern trends my grand parenting came from my heart and was given with my love

I d managed to bring up three children through some very difficult scenarios and situations and my children were all happy with my help as a Nan I have seven grown grandkids who have happily stayed in contact with me and tell me they love me
That's good enough for me

The title is interesting, isn't it? I wouldn't say no to a grandparenting course, if only for the last sentence of the article!
However, the phrase " bringing up our kids" troubles me somewhat. I do/ have done/ will do in the future plenty of Grandma day care. I see this as extra babysitting. Am I bringing up my grandchildren? I'm not sure about that.

I have had all our GC from young babies, once they were at the toddler stage our AC decided on Granny’s house, Granny’s rules and that is what we have.

I definitely would not consider a grandparenting course, no need, as I talk to our AC and in-laws.

maddyone

I’m not sure, I might have done before they were born, just to familiarise myself with current thinking and trends in baby care. As I was a teacher of young children I felt fairly familiar with being with young children. I try to respect my adult children’s rules and preferences though even if it’s different than what I did.

This 100%. And some of the replies here show just who might need such a course. I wouldn’t go now as I’ve been “grandparenting” for some years but I would have before the first to learn the ways baby care and suggestions on safety etc have changed. As it were I spent a fair amount of time in those early days relearning to new ways - even among my own kids safety recommendations had changed from first to last and it would do grandparents well to be on top of the latest guidelines. Either to ensure the safest care if they end up caring for them on occasion or simply to help
Them better understand and respect their ac choices as parents. As evidenced here man sorely lack in that capacity. Perhaps the first lesson in the class should be safety and modern guidelines and the last how to respect and accept that your child is the parent here and therefore call the shots !

Must say that if dd had suggested that I needed to go on a course in order to know how to look after 9 month old Gdd1 properly for one day a week, I’d have politely suggested that she make an alternative arrangement (and paid for it).

Luckily I don’t think such a thing would ever have occurred to her.

M0nica

But those are the ones who would take no notice of what they were told on a course.

I doubt they'd be on the course in the first place, MOnica

Has anyone read the actual article?

But those are the ones who would take no notice of what they were told on a course.

If the course instructs grandparents on how to follow instructions from the parents and on how to set boundaries re childcare then I think it is needed by some.

No. Mine are all grown up now. But if we have successfully brought up our children then we are surely able to help with grandchildren. Maybe some first aid knowledge is useful though.

Sago

I would certainly do a paediatric first aid course.

Agreed, and I have. You have to renew it every few years. It would make more sense for all parents to do one as well.

I think the courses should be for adult children on how to treat grandparents once the grand children arrive!

lixy

Advice from professionals has changed so much since my children were babies.
For example, my babies were bathed day1 in hospital whereas GD wasn't bathed for the first 2 weeks to allow the waxy covering on her skin to be absorbed.
I think I'd attend a short course so I was clued in to the present day thinking on practicalities like that.

But I doubt that grandparents would have sole charge of a baby from Day 1.

Most parents would leave instructions when grandparents are left in charge eg - "she's started solids this week, she's dropped her second day-time nap" etc and sensible grandparents would stick to the-rules-- advice.

Not for me.
My voluntary work is with preschool children from newborns onwards.
I chose this in anticipation of late grandchildren or none even coming. So I am practiced and it all came back very naturally anyway.

Acquiring a practical skill if you are likely to be doing a lot of child care may well be sensible.

In our case we live 200 miles from our DGC, now both teenagers, meant that the amount of babysitting etc we provided was very limited indeed.

I would certainly do a paediatric first aid course.

I think if you need lessons on being a grandparent, then you probably already have a dysfunctional relationship with your AC and their partners.

There is no guarantee that what is taught in grandparenting classes will accord with your children's decisions about how their children will be brought up anyway. So they could cause more trouble than they alleviate.

I also doubt whether the grandmothers from hell, we sometimes get on GN demanding we support ttheir gross interference in their DGC's lives would take any notice of anything said in a grandparenting class.

I’m not sure, I might have done before they were born, just to familiarise myself with current thinking and trends in baby care. As I was a teacher of young children I felt fairly familiar with being with young children. I try to respect my adult children’s rules and preferences though even if it’s different than what I did.