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Mothers Day - interested in opinions

(78 Posts)
Mamasperspective Fri 01-Mar-24 11:22:48

Genuinely interested to hear feedback.

If a man has a wife and 2 very young children (and his mother doesn't like his wife so there's no option of all being together) should he be spending Mother's Day with the mother of his kids and making it special for her or should he be spending it with his own mother and visiting with her/taking her out for the day?

FranP Sun 14-Apr-24 22:27:04

While I am a mum, I am a Gran too, and there is now a Grandmother's Day.
My children do pop a bunch of flowers in, but DD and DIL get the rest of the day, and I am more than happy with that. (MILs and DM are both gone, but would have been invited to come for lunch in later years.)

RosiesMaw Sun 14-Apr-24 21:50:03

Loaded question from OP with predictable results.hmm
Hope all the Mothers Day stuff is now safely behind us.

Mamasperspective Sun 14-Apr-24 21:20:55

@Chardy I wouldn't want to spend Mother's Day without my babies (besides one was only 8 weeks old on Mother's Day so it was my first Mother's Day with her and she is exclusively breast fed). Only my 2nd Mother's Day with first born daughter.

Mamasperspective Sun 14-Apr-24 21:17:13

@Grannieinatwist her behaviour has been dreadful and has proved she can't be trusted when it comes to the well-being of my children. Myself and my 2 children are no contact (with full support from DH) and he is very low contact. He dropped a card off for her on the Tues and spent the day with me and his children, it was lovely.

Smileless2012 Thu 28-Mar-24 11:25:02

You know hardly anything about the mother Grannieinatwist apart from her not liking her d.i.l. You don't know why she doesn't like her, she may have a good reason, she may not.

If the son loves his mum and doesn't want to estrange her, why should he?

VioletSky Wed 27-Mar-24 21:11:05

I think that when I become a grandmother, I take a step back and priorities the women who are raising children right now

Of course I'd like to be thought of but wouldn't expect to take any of the day from them really

Grannieinatwist Wed 27-Mar-24 20:55:22

The son has picked a woman he loves, married and wants to spend the rest of his life with, yet his mother chooses to voice her irrelevant opinion of not liking her? So much so that she won’t spend mother’s day in her company?!

The mother sounds absolutely dreadful, so yes I absolutely would not blame the son for estranging her. How dare she treat his son’s wife like this.

Astitchintime Wed 27-Mar-24 20:23:56

Oldnproud

Astitchintime

Why can't his mother behave like an adult and spend the day with her DS, DIL, and DGC?

If she is invited to do that, I imagine she would be very happy to do so. It does require the other adults in the equation to act like adults too, though.

Of course Oldnproud, I just read the following: (and his mother doesn't like his wife so there's no option of all being together) and misinterpreted.

Oldnproud Wed 27-Mar-24 19:22:03

Astitchintime

Why can't his mother behave like an adult and spend the day with her DS, DIL, and DGC?

If she is invited to do that, I imagine she would be very happy to do so. It does require the other adults in the equation to act like adults too, though.

Astitchintime Wed 27-Mar-24 18:30:16

Why can't his mother behave like an adult and spend the day with her DS, DIL, and DGC?

Chardy Wed 27-Mar-24 18:12:47

Dad takes his kids and mother out for brunch so his wife gets a lie-in

DiamondLily Wed 27-Mar-24 18:07:12

Grannieinatwist

Honestly, option 3

If his mum doesn’t like his wife he should estrange his mum.

Seriously? I hope you’re never disliked by an inlaw. 🙄

Smileless2012 Wed 27-Mar-24 11:31:27

You'd better hope if you have a son and you don't like his wife Grannieinatwist that your son doesn't estrange you. That would really put you in a twist wouldn't it.

Oldnproud Wed 27-Mar-24 11:27:29

Oldnproud

nightowl

Grannieinatwist

Honestly, option 3

If his mum doesn’t like his wife he should estrange his mum.

What a world some people live in! So glad I don’t know anyone like that.

Hear hear.

Just to make other clear, in case it isn't obvious, I was agreeing with nightowl.

HeavenLeigh Wed 27-Mar-24 10:35:34

I certainly don’t agree he should enstrange his mum just because she doesn’t like his wife that’s ridiculous. He can marry who he chooses. Not his mothers buisness. Wow!

HeavenLeigh Wed 27-Mar-24 10:31:17

The mother of his children should take top priority so she should come first! But he should go visit his mum If at all possible take or send flowers or phone call

Oldnproud Wed 27-Mar-24 10:29:46

nightowl

Grannieinatwist

Honestly, option 3

If his mum doesn’t like his wife he should estrange his mum.

What a world some people live in! So glad I don’t know anyone like that.

Hear hear.

nightowl Wed 27-Mar-24 10:16:23

Grannieinatwist

Honestly, option 3

If his mum doesn’t like his wife he should estrange his mum.

What a world some people live in! So glad I don’t know anyone like that.

Smileless2012 Wed 27-Mar-24 09:20:42

Well said nightowl and Rosies smile.

Bridgeit Wed 27-Mar-24 08:43:17

I’m sure it is possible to see 2 people in one day, or speak on a phone or video linkup .

Grannieinatwist Wed 27-Mar-24 08:35:22

Honestly, option 3

If his mum doesn’t like his wife he should estrange his mum.

Sallywally1 Wed 27-Mar-24 07:45:26

I think it his wife’s day, she is the new mum and his first loyalty is to her. My son did visit with a card and flowers for an hour or so which was lovely though and he also brought my DGD which was lovely. My DD just sent a text message! My own late DM used to create hell if we didn’t send a card and I am determined not to be like her. The word narcissist was created with her in mind.

Horatia Wed 27-Mar-24 07:40:51

What happens on Fathers Day? Do we fairly reverse the priorities and celebrate our husbands as fathers first and foremost and give our own fathers a wee phonecall or text.

MercuryQueen Wed 27-Mar-24 07:21:50

If local, do a visit with the mom on the Saturday and have the Sunday with the wife and kids.

Oreo Tue 26-Mar-24 21:45:55

No reason if local not to do both.Your son is still your son and you his Mum.The children should make a card for their own Mum.