Grandparents Unite - Babysitting

They say we are two nations divided by a common language

You can say that again biglouis
I have a real struggle with Connections some mornings.

I'd buy a big yacht and sail off to Thailand, Kellybel.
Go SKIING 🙂

People need to be careful

On one thread people were told "troll hunting" can lead to suspensions

On another thread people were told that personal insults can lead to suspensions

I think it is better to treat threads as potentially real or ignore... Every thread has the potential to be a discussion that may help someone to read

I disagree with your interpretation but have no intention of responding further to you.

Germanshepherdsmum

Being new here I believe SingcoTime, you probably don’t know that we receive a great many long and implausible tales from across the Pond. There has been no xenophobia.

I'd say putting down a manner of speech simply because one isn't familiar, especially knowing that that person isn't from where you're from at the start, is pretty xenophobic. This isn't a physical space, so the assumption of how long I've been aware of gransnet isn't really appropriate. In any event, it's the mods jobs to take care of fake posts. We can all choose to not read or respond to anything we deem not real.

Thanks BlueBelle.

Just to add to GSMs post
Recently a number of the posts from US that she is referring to turn out to be fake so that’s why people are wary sincotime nothing at all to do with xenophobia or nastiness

Being new here I believe SingcoTime, you probably don’t know that we receive a great many long and implausible tales from across the Pond. There has been no xenophobia.

Xenophobia isn't acceptable nowadays, some folks missed the memo (eyeroll).

OP, you need to cut the strings. What you see as being a loving granny is really just enabling. Your daughter is an adult. She is not your employer. You need to set firm boundaries and allow her to grow by handling her own life. If she gets verbally abusive, block her. Your granddaughters will benefit more from a mother who is independent and raises them without the sense of entitlement she has. For their sake, step back from managing your daughter's life. You deserve to live yours without the stress.

**Side note, please try to refrain from posting identifying information on here about your grandchildren. Names, locations, details about your children's professions are far too much to share.

Hey everyone just be nice.

This surely is another wind up.

Nanabel

Whinging? I didn’t realize someone from the US was not welcome in this forum!? I feel we can learn so much from different cultures! We all share some of the same struggles!!

My first post : I sure hope you’re not on the welcoming committee!! ☹️

It’s not the country of origin…….it’s the whingeing (and the peculiar language - chidlers? Pawpaw etc)
However , I imagine you will be feeling better for getting this, whatever it is, off your chest.

*She does get her pedi/mani regularly & has real Italian hair glued to her head monthly! ( Wig $8000) had a boob job & BBL in the future!! 🤔

!!!!

Agree, GSM

Oh dear! Some of the grans here dont have much contact with the USA. I run a business and 90% of my customers are American. They say we are two nations divided by a common language.

Perhaps Im not the one to ask as I was childfree by choice. But you really need to put some boundaries in place. Maybe spend more time in Thailand or elsewhere. You dont have to accept every phone call just because you own a smart phone. Phones can be "in the the other room/out of charge/poor reception or you can simply block".

Your job as a parent is to raise independent adults. If I had chosen to have children I would never had run after them once they reached 18.

It would be nice to see your son's baby a bit more. You could discuss how to progress with your DH - make a plan. "I will look after/see your children on ...... and babysit on ..... I will not be free at ...... as we are looking after DS child on ..... And we will be away ..........
DD will probably kick back but stand firm. You deserve your time in Thailand.

Am I the only one thinking this is another wind up it’s a new poster nanabel but signed by Kellybel

First of all your daughter is not independent, let’s be clear about that.not she were she wouldn’t be demanding you fill in and parent any time she doesn’t feel like it. You have to let go of this mindset if you need to help her because she’s single etc. whose choice was that? She had two children by two fathers so she knew what lay ahead when she opted to become a single mother twice. You’ve been far too accommodating. Set a limit for yourself of what you’re willing to do , including not be available for your holidays and stick to it. Daughter will need to learn to sink or swim as they say. As for your son, I think it’s understandable he’s feeling a certain way if you’re not spending time with or babysitting his child when you’re doing so much for the sibling. I don’t think these things need to be equal exactly but he’s obviously feeling a bit put out so by cutting way back on sister it’s a much more attainable thing to help son on occasion if you like too. In fact figure that into the equation of how much you’re willing to do.

Oh my gosh, you set yourself up for that one... 6 months in her home, that is a lot

She has become reliant on you.

The apron strings need to be cut but I think you have another issue to deal with first in that, she sounds depressed and overwhelmed by your description

So go gently, withdraw slowly... Learn to say no and not continue the discussion... Then if you see an opportunity, ask her if she is struggling and point her towards her GP

Your daughter sounds rude and very entitled. Go enjoy your lovely holidays with your dh, you’ve done more than enough over the years.

I guess the gc aren’t such sweet babies now…

First mistake you made Nanabel was staying with your daughter for 6 months! That led to expectations of continuing help from you. Hard to undo that mistake at this stage.

Too much irrelevant information + 38 exclamation marks.

Sorry. Not sorry, CBA

You can hardly call her independent, shexsoundsadustaster. Say no, I would.

Repeat after me: your children, your responsibility

Nanabel

Thank you for your reply! She is extremely independent - registered nurse, owns house etc. 2022-present has been challenging for her! I still don’t want to babysit!! I will follow your advice & just sat “NO” - Damn, what a great idea!!! 😉

No, she isn't independent. If she was, she would be taking responsibility for her own children, not expecting you to step in whenever it suits her!

It’s English GSM but just not as we know it! 🤔😱😂