What's normal nowadays

Thankyou for your comments, part of me does feel like DD is taking advantage. I'm not going to encourage the father to do more as I believe he is more interested in my DD than his own children but that's my opinion. I am beginning to agree that everyone's normal is different with different needs, thankyou for helping me see that. I do think I need to say no a bit more though

Don't do so much that it takes over your life ...they will go to school ...grow up and have less interest in you ( now that is normal) ...not need a babysitter so much....then what of you? Will you still have a life to live? Friends to meet? Hobbies to take part in? Because later down the line this will all be harder to establish or get back into....I'm 59 ...still work 2 days ....but will never commit to that amount of childcare... I pick 2 of mine up from school twice a week and have them for tea....apart from that its babysitting sleepovers when it suits me....or if parents have a planned night....I have had mine for a week when parents have gone on holiday ...but that was because I offered....my DD would never ask.....personally I would be exhausted doing that amount of childcare ...but maybe you are younger than me....the father needs to get his act together ...you are enabling him to be an absent parent

You are doing a lot!!! The main thing is that you must be honest with yourself - are you happy with the present arrangement,? are you absolutely worn out when they have gone ? do you feel your DD is asking too much of you ? Answer yourself honestly and act accordingly. Do what you are happy with - good luck.

aee you happy doing this amount of childcare? are you asking because you feel your dd is taking advantage of you? I think it is excessive and that their father should step up, but it's down to how you feel about it really..

No such thing as normal. Make sure you don’t become a dogsbody.

I don't think there is any such thing as normal. Families are so different, and their needs are different. You have to do what you feel comfortable doing. If your daughter is a single parent maybe she needs more help than your other ACs? It depends on her job, too, and her hours/responsibilities. Does she recognise that you do so much for her? The children seem to be more with you than with her.

To me so much will depend on whether you feel up to it, or feel like a wet rag afterwards.
Which is IMO often dependent on how old you are. A granny of 50 is often rather different, energy and maybe mobility-wise, from one of 70.

You could invite the children's dad to yours, perhaps, and let them spend a bit more time together?

Thankyou the dgc are 4 and nearly 2, it's interesting that you say they might be confused as their behaviour might show this. Parents have been split since baby was 3 months so dad not really got to know him that well,

As you are asking for opinions I think you are doing more than most grandparents. Every weekend and one or two days in the week is more than half of every week and would be far too much for me.
The children are seeing you more than they see their parents and while you don’t seem to mind, wonder if that might confuse the children, depending on their age.
Their father never will get to know his youngest if he is able to opt out of his share of care apart from a couple of hours a week.
I understand you want to help your daughter but don’t forget that you have a life too.

Normal is what’s right for you and them
Carry on doing what’s best for you all
there is no need to worry about what others do or don’t do

The only 'normal' is what suits you and your family. Ignore other people's comments. Your family,. Your way of doing things

I agree with the many comments as there’s no such thing as normal it’s whatever is best for you. However the remark that the children’s dad won’t have them for more than 2 hours as he doesn’t know the youngest well enough. I think in the words of your friends he’s taking the Mick. How will he get to know them if he barely sees the child? I think your dd needs to sort that out with the father.

Thankyou for your comments, I don't look after other 3 as one is my ds who isn't with the mother and others aren't local, I do see others but not very often

At one time, I was doing a lot for my two older grandchildren, whose parents were working full time. Then, when my son had his first baby I was asked if I could help when d.I.l. returned to work. I thought about it and decided that it would leave me hardly anytime for myself, bearing in mind, I was divorced and working part-time. So I was honest and told them that the most I could offer was ‘baby-sitting’ if they wanted to go out for a meal, or meet friends etc. It was awkward at first, but they seemed to understand and it worked out fine. I still ‘baby-sit’ occasionally for the younger ones.

I think Miss Adventure says it all - these days, there is no normal.
I think the OP says that while she has 5 grandchildren, only 2 are her DD’s who is now single.
I agree the absent parent should do more - but horse to water??
Do you look after the other 3 DGCs at all Enanny or are they older/not local? I babysat this afternoon and doing it again on Friday for DD2, but I haven’t had charge of DGS1 on his own for months, although I see quite a bit of him.
That’s my normal.

Well the father input is two hours a week for his brood, why have five children. I think they chose to have those children and should be looking after them. The fact they don’t and leave the care up to you is not right but I understand you don’t want your grandchildren to suffer. I don’t think most people do this as they wouldn't put on their mother for free child care and I for one could not do it.

I think "normal" is almost an obsolete word these days.

On here there are grandparents who are estranged, those who seem to have their grandchildren more than the parents.
Formal or casual babysitting, one day per week up to every day.

The main thing is if you feel ok with your current arrangements and are happy with them.

sounds like you don't have much life of your own.
if you are content to give up so much of your time, o guess that's ok.
but will you regret it later, when maybe older and unable to get about so much.

Normal is different for every family. If this works for you then that is your normal and it is fine.