Exhausting family get-togethers

How long are they staying and how many of them are there?

Do you get invited to theirs or are you always hosting?

Just tell them! “Okay you lot, it’s been lovely seeing you all. Now off you go and let me put my feet up”.

I’m sure they don’t want to wear you out.

I would say it is extremely normal, (to be exhausted) and I bet you provide food, drink and heating as well.
Arrange to be away for some weekends, and have pressing arrangements to attend at a certain time.
They will come as long as you allow it.

Just tell them that as you are getting older you find it more difficult to cope with having everybody round and it leaves you exhausted and then suggest, either that they come for a shorter period or you visit them.

Your family sound lovely, I am sure they will ccompletely understand.

Any good ways of letting them know they're adored and welcome but maybe for a bit shorter time?

Yes, decide on your boundaires, let them know them nicely, then stick to them.

When I have one of my kid's family to stay, I tell them 5 days is a nice amount of time.
They do then sometimes stay 6 days, but that is the day that they leave on.

Another more elderly relative lets people know that she finds whats app conversations very tiring, if they go on a bit.

People should understand.

It's perfectly normal to feel exhausted. I no longer enjoy extended visits (I'm not sure I ever did actually). It's constantly having to be cheerful, with a smile plastered on my face for hours on end that particularly wears me out. Interacting with young children and trying to look as though you're enjoying every hour of it is really tiring too. Then there's all the food prep and clearing up afterwards.

I agree, it is very difficult because younger people really don't understand that we don't have the same stamina and they probably think they're entertaining you rather than the other way round.

Can you say there's a particular TV programme you want to watch at, say, 5pm? Lay it on thick and say how much you've looked forward to it. Then at around 4.30pm start clearing away whilst saying "nanny's programmes on shortly, it's lovely to have seen you all."

wildswan16

Just tell them! “Okay you lot, it’s been lovely seeing you all. Now off you go and let me put my feet up”.

I’m sure they don’t want to wear you out.

That’s me, mine are here tomorrow for bbq and football, but they do muck in, help with prep and washing/clearing up. I allocate jobs and they’re happy to help.

I would have a conversation with your children and just say exactly what you have said to us..

When my three children were small and we visited mum she made it quite clear when it was time to go! ‘I think it’s time to go’, she would say.

I often say I am going to have a half hour rest on the bed and I leave them to it..

I recently announced that I wouldn’t cook hot meals any more, for family gatherings, ex soup in winter. Instant reduction of stress / work, tho not necessarily cost since the cold food is fairly lavish.

Yes perfectly normal. It is exhausting having all the family around. We host Sunday BBQ all summer long and just say the party is over now 😂😂 and they smile and go home.

Mine have just left. I feel as if I have been run over by a steamroller - a lovely, happy day but I barely have the strength to clean my make up off. Bed, here I come. Good to hear this is quite normal.

How lucky you are that your family like being with you and with one another. Just as others have advised, pass hints. Also, why don’t they take it in turns to host the summer barbecues ? I wish my 3 children and their families got together more often, We do meet up but not as often as every week - they have their own activities and plans.

How great that they want to be with you at weekends. But, yes it's tiring and so maybe you could say something tactfully. I'm sure they will understand.

They only stay for hours? My lot stay for days!! 😂😂

Seriously, if I’m tired or unwell I go and have a rest and leave them to it. They usually help out with food prep and cooking anyway. Were used to having visitors a lot of the time though and find it’s easier when it’s family because we don’t particularly need to entertain them.

I have found over the last year or so that cooking a Sunday roast is exhausting. So I now cook a large casserole the day before, then reheat it with the usual roast potatoes etc and it’s much easier. My DS will also host family gatherings and cook. He and his family live nearby and DD and family about 2 hours away so they stay with me usually over the school breaks for a few days. I can cope for about 5 days and then need 5 days to recover! There’s a vague mention of 10 days in the summer holidays - I think I might leave them to it for a few days and visit my friend on the South Coast…

Be grateful and recover after they have gone.

Lots of people don't get family visits at all.

Kitty thankyou ❤

kittylester

Be grateful and recover after they have gone.

Lots of people don't get family visits at all.

And its perfectly alright to feel overwhelmed and tired and to ask for help here.

People must have big houses to be able to host famiy.

Mine know I get tired easily and all muck in when they are here.
There will be 9 of us here tomorrow ... including two little ones. Happily no one has to cook ... we are having a takeaway!