Worried grandmother taking family cruise soon.

lemsip

i would not go under those circumstances!

Nor me.
And I'd be mortified if I was the 17 year old!
Can you get an extra cabin so one of you can decamp?
Or two singles?

Is the cruise imminent?
In your position I would immediately get on to the cruise line and book my own cabin, but then I would have done that right from the start.
I wouldn’t have wanted to share with anyone (apart from my husband)

It’s not fair on either of you to have to be in the same cabin, and sleeping arrangements should have been one of the first things discussed when the holiday was planned.

I think it’s very unfair expecting you and teen grandson to share a cabin. Can you speak to his Dad and say you are not happy about this.doesn’t sound much of a holiday to me, for you or him!

I feel dad and son should share and mum and daughter and the two grans together. I know my 15 yr old grandson would not be happy sharing with me!! Maybe brother and sister share. Seems odd situation which should have been fully discussed before booking holiday!

Would add that cabins are very small much smaller than most bedrooms at home which makes things more awkward when sharing.
I woukd agree with others that the parents each take one child and you and the other gran can share.

I want to add one more thing....

Totally a recipe for disaster! Surely, you can find some cash to upgrade yourself. The parents are most likely using you to save themselves money and if they are paying for the whole trip then you are stuck with what they give you unless grandson fights that battle for you. Please keep us updated!

Grandson could sleep on a roll-a-way in their room.

Can you just take it upon yourself to call the cruise line and upgrade yourself to a private room. Do that first, then let his parents know that you changed your plans as you aren't comfortable sharing a room with a 17 year old boy.

If you can't do it yourself then be bold and let the planner know that you will need different arrangements as sharing with a 17 year old boy isn't going to work.

It may be possible that no one else wanted to share a room with him either, and you got the short straw especially since you seem to be the last to know.

Honestly, sharing a room is so hard. I would never agree to it with anyone other than my husband, and I would go to great lengths not to have to share a room with an anti-social teenage boy.

Best of luck, this one isn't going to be easy. Have you asked him how he feels about it? I would, he might just fight that battle for you. Text him!!!

"This is Grandma. Are you aware that you and I are sharing a room on the cruise. How do you feel about being in a small room with me for days on end?"

I don't think that's appropriate at all. I can't imagine any woman (granny or not) wanting to share with a young adult male except maybe in an emergency. His issues don't help the situation but I don't think that's the major problem here.

As suggested above, the grannies should share, daughter with mum and grandson with dad. Who on earth organised this trip?

These arrangements are a recipe for disaster

I hope they are changed before the cruise

Now I am older I like to have my own space. My grandson is 16 and I definitely would not want to have to share with him, and no doubt he wouldn't want to share with me either.

I would pay for my own cabin.

Your relationship with him will be absolutely fine, you just need to relate to him on his level as who he is and not have expectations about how he should treat you... Respect his boundaries and need for space. He will very likely improve in time and find ways to express affection or gratitude but at the moment, him not expressing it doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

For twenty years my family have rented a house at the seaside for an Easter holiday. Various family members join them at different times. So that the extra people have their own rooms my daughter has always shared with their daughter and my son in law with their son. Works well.

i would not go under those circumstances!

My husband and I would buy/ pay for our own room. Sorted.

Actually, we're not fond of holidays with others, we'd likely not attend.

wildswan16

13 year old should share with mum. 17 year old should share with dad. Grandmas should share together.

None of my 17 year olds would want to be sharing with an old woman. Most unfair to him.

I agree.

I'm sure my teenage DGS would be mortified at having to share with me

Sleeping with 17 yr old boy is not going to work for either of you, as he has communication issues makes it worse. If it was me I would book my own separate cabin at my cost, sorry if that sounds unreasonable but I just would not sleep properly.

What an odd thing to ask you to do, my son when he was 17 would have been horrified to share a bedroom with his Nana (and so would she be).
I definitely would not do it, I like my own personal space. I would tell your son it’s not appropriate you and will pay for your own cabin.

I ve shared with my grown up grandson in separate beds of course don’t see that as a problem although they should have talked it all over and got agreement from all involved in the family holiday so a bit sneaky
exdancer and others unless we were very good friends I would find it very weird to share with the other grandmother that wouldn’t suit me at all much rather share with my known flesh and blood, whatever age
Let him do his own thing and if he’s comfortable silent that’s fine go with it after all youre not living in the cabin only sleeping in it
Do you love your grandson, problems and all it’s only night time after all go to the cabin get in bed go to sleep get up go to breakfast no need to talk or be sociable apart from ‘morning love’

tanith

I would definitely speak to your son the suggestion that Dad and son share and grannies share sounds fine. If it were me I would insist on that arrangement or I’d try to book my own cabin. Wouldn’t want to share with a 17 yr old.

Neither would I!

It would just feel strange! You dress/undress in the cabin, sleep, put makeup on!

I think it is completely unreasonable for a 17 year old boy, especially if he has communication issues, to be expected to share a room with an older female.. GM or not.. He will be very uncomfortable as will you.. I think you have to insist that this arrangement is changed.. males with males etc

Wildswan’s suggestion is the best 👌

Perhaps, if it really is the only option, (though I can't see why, apart from ensuring your son and his wife aren't inconvenienced) then you could text your grandson to find out how to make it more comfortable for him.

Ask him to write down what he needs, so that he can relax a bit.

I think like you Calipso. Why not suggest the arrangement made by Wildswan?
Girl with Mum, boy with Dad and Grans together. Sensible.

No disrespect intended to the OP but I can only think that the 17 year old boy will be absolutely mortified by the proposed arrangement 😱

I would definitely speak to your son the suggestion that Dad and son share and grannies share sounds fine. If it were me I would insist on that arrangement or I’d try to book my own cabin. Wouldn’t want to share with a 17 yr old.