Worried grandmother taking family cruise soon.

My sister-in-law shared a cabin with her 18 year old son on a cruise.
She said she hardly saw him as he slept all day and partied all night, it was like having the cabin to herself!

wildswan16

13 year old should share with mum. 17 year old should share with dad. Grandmas should share together.

None of my 17 year olds would want to be sharing with an old woman. Most unfair to him.

Excellent solution. 👏

Not many 17 year olds would want to share a room with GM!!

OP not returned then.

I could have shared a room with the other grandma, prior to her son abusing our daughter. Now I wouldn’t even want to speak to her, let alone share a room with her. She thinks her son can do no wrong.
If these two grandmothers get on, I don’t see why they couldn’t share a room.

Wouldn’t a better way be the two grandmothers share a cabin and the children share a cabin next door to the parents cabin?

Katie590 I have once shared a room with "the other" grandmother for one night - but it was an emergency as our youngest grandchild was rushed into ICU in another country and there were sudden complicated childcare needs.

It was an emergency. This is supposed to be a pleasure.
I would definitely not want to do it on holiday!

“If you don't want to do this then tell your son asap and tell him why.”

Men can be clueless of the feelings of others and should have discussed sleeping arrangements beforehand. On most cruises there are empty inside cabins at low cost I would just book my own without saying. For me it would be treading on eggshells every day and I couldn’t enjoy the trip, sharing with the other GM would just about be tolerable because cabins are small

1969q

My son is paying this entire cruise for all 6 members. Found out from the other grandmother that he is my room mate and she has the grandaughter. Both of us grandmothers are in their lives, same neighborhood but it’s the grandson with major issues. Anxiety, social, not sure if he is still on meds will be asking his parents. I could just ignore or have a talk with him before trip. Relationship is iffy at times with grandson.

I don't see the issue as being his anxiety, social issues etc.. I can't understand why his parents thought it would be ok for a 17 year old boy to share a room with his grandma. Any 17 year olds I know would be mortified.

Generous of your son to be paying for this family cruise, but that doesn't mean he should have made the cabin arrangements without first discussing them with you, and from what you've posted, he hasn't even told you what those arrangements are.

If it's not possible for you get a single occupancy cabin due to availability or cost, think long and hard about whether or not you and your GS will be able to cope with this arrangement.

If you don't want to do this then tell your son asap and tell him why.

Please come back when you are sorted 1969q.
What a mess.

...and a warning to everyone to agree sleeping arrangements before booking!

Daddima I think the whole premise is bonkers. Even the 13 year old probably won't be happy.

If any sharing had to be done when my (5) children were in there teens and young adults it was not grandparents I'd expect to be doing it!

Family gatherings often meant some doubling up was necessary. My husband and I were the ones who "put ourselves out" and often the youngest shared with us. This may still be possible if the parents can upgrade to a cabin for 3... However that still means the grandmothers have to share - but better than the alternative I feel.

NotSpaghetti

Daddima he's 17, not 7!
I think he'd be delighted to have his own space!

You’re probably right, I was just thinking of how his parents might see it, depending on exactly what his ‘issues’ are. It might turn out to be a case of just making the best of a bad job, but I think a talk with the young man is a very good idea.

Sparklefizz

Now I am older I like to have my own space. My grandson is 16 and I definitely would not want to have to share with him, and no doubt he wouldn't want to share with me either.

I would pay for my own cabin.

Me too, I’d want a cabin that I could return to during the day, use the loo have a shower, get changed and flop onto the bed for a nap if I wanted or sit on my balcony, certainly not have to do this with my almost adult Grandson in the room. He must be so upset about this as well.

I would book myself a cabin asap, or not go.

NotSpaghetti

As your relationship is iffy at times with grandson surely this won't improve it!

Call the cruise company and find out if there is a spare cabin. If there isn't you have to decide if you still want to go if the family won't budge.

If you do de-camp that will resolve matters.
I hope you can do that both in terms of space and financially.

Thinking of you.

If an extra cabin is not an option I would most likely just contract an illness a few days before the trip and not go.
These family groups are a nice idea but full of tensions in many cases, this sharing with a boy is one of those, whenever we have family staying at home 2 or 3 nights is the limit.

Maybe he was asked who he'd feel most comfortable sharing with and asked to share with the OP? She has to discuss the situation with her son and find out how the arrangements came about.

Daddima he's 17, not 7!
I think he'd be delighted to have his own space!

As your relationship is iffy at times with grandson surely this won't improve it!

Call the cruise company and find out if there is a spare cabin. If there isn't you have to decide if you still want to go if the family won't budge.

If you do de-camp that will resolve matters.
I hope you can do that both in terms of space and financially.

Thinking of you.

Grams2five

While I wouldn’t want to share with a teenager of either sex it’s a case of beggars can’t be choosers to me. If your son is paying for the trip you take what you’re given or book your own cabin so as not to have to share. I don’t think it’s appropriate to make demands of other peoples money.

I kind of agree with that. I have a 17 year old grandson, and would probably be able to share with him if I had to, as long as we got the ground rules sorted, probably easier than sharing with my teenage granddaughters, but that’s their very different natures. How do you think he would react to you saying that you know it’s not ideal, but could you do anything to make it more comfortable for him ( then sneak in your ideas !)
His dad paying for everyone definitely makes a difference, and the young man’s communication difficulties does too. Paying for your own cabin also creates the issue of him being on his own in the cabin.
It is awkward, so good luck.

I have a 16 yr old grandson and though we have a close bond there’s no way we would be expected to share a cabin. His family sleep in various configurations but if need be grandson will share with dad (or sleep in a tent as dad snores)
This should have been discussed from the outset. Presumably there are financial considerations. As has been said, a single person pays double, so single cabins for you and the lad will cost a huge amount. Speak to the family asap. It is the parents who have created the problem, not their son.

While I wouldn’t want to share with a teenager of either sex it’s a case of beggars can’t be choosers to me. If your son is paying for the trip you take what you’re given or book your own cabin so as not to have to share. I don’t think it’s appropriate to make demands of other peoples money.

I have an adult grandson with anxiety and social issues and think expecting anyone similarly affected, especially a 17 yr old of the opposite sex, to share with his granny is appalling and very unlikely to do anything except make both people feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed and it’s likely to be sheer torture for the boy.

I suppose the issue with cruises is that a singleton occupying a cabin normally has to pay a 100% supplement so sharing (but with different configuration) makes sound financial sense.

You can’t just pay to upgrade, you’d have to book another cabin and pay the solo supplement which won’t be cheap,

I certainly wouldn’t share a room with a 17 year old boy. Can you pay a bit extra and get a room to yourself ? Just say you are more comfortable that way or that you snore or something, anything!

I definitely wouldn't agree to that! It's not fair on either of you. And I'm not even sure I'd want to share with the other gran either - depends how well you know her, and how well you get on? My preference, if I couldn't have my own cabin, would be to share with my daughter, and let father & son share together.

How inappropriate! Under no circumstances would I be doing that!