grandchildren moving to another state suddenly

I just want to add that the other 42 weeks a year I am enjoying me time without the daily responsibilities of caring for a child.
Hopefully, your daughter will have a good job and plenty of money when she gets where she is going. She may not realize just how much you were helping her when it comes to food, daycare and general needs. You can still send clothes or do nice things for the grands, but let me caution you not to substantially support them financially from a far.

Oh, I feel for you. My single daughter did the same thing. She and grandson were living in our guest house next door. We were literally co-parenting with her and all was going well. She met someone online and thought it was love. My husband and I literally grieved. We were so attached to our 7 year old grandson. Luckily, we can afford to fly him here as a unaccompanied minor for all major holidays and we fly to them about 3 times a year for a long weekend. It turns out that we have him about 9 weeks a year with Christmas break, fall break, spring break and 4 or 5 weeks in the summer. Maybe, she will let you have him on school breaks. Save your pennies and get him to you as often as possible. He will love to see you. As for the 18-month-old. It is going to be much harder to have that close bond and you will most likely have a more traditional long-distance relationship with that child. Those relationship are rewarding, but different then the super close ones. Again, My heart goes out to you and him. He is going to miss you so much and you will miss him too. Keep your relationship good with mom at all costs.

What violetsky said is key

We moved to America from the UK when my daughter was nearly 3. She was the only grandchild and I am an "only" child.

It was devastating for them but even 40/50 years ago it wasn't the end of the world as we kept in touch (letters mainly in those days). The difference really is that they had each other and were both busy -

You must do something else now...
I strongly recommend volunteering, a job, singing with a choir - maybe something creative.

Please look after yourself. .
Thinking of you.

BlueBelle

It will be a wrench but they and you will still be able to visit and with face time and what’s app you can keep in touch with them and you re going to have to be brave and strong so the children don’t pick up on any sadness
It’s interesting that you don’t sound as if you will miss your daughter just the grand kids 🙃
The fact you have no family or friends is a real problem and something you need to rectify bit by bit Am I right that means you ll be living alone? Is this daughter your only child ?
It’s going to be hard but you have to expand your life now, no choice if you want to survive. Start to save up for visits and at 9 I would think your daughter will let your Grandaughter come for a long visit in the school hols 🤞🏼
You have stunted your life by being so limited but we re never too old to start and all I ll say is get started expanding or you ll have nothing to talk to that lovely grandaughter about
Good luck

Thank you so much for your reply. My daughter has been distant since she was about 16 (29 now). She contacts me and wants to see me when I can help her with the kids or with $$$. She doesnt ever show interest in a close relationship. Yes, I live alone. And I also have a son, 34. He lives in another state and has a chaotic life. I dont see him. We communicate on FB every month or so. My daughter says she'll let me facetime with the 9 yr old and go to visit them. So we will do that for sure. I agree I have stunted my life and now have no one. I have a job and will make an effort to join a local group to make friends.

pfitz - you should, you must join some local groups. Have you got nice neighbours.? Above all, look after yourself - it’s going to be hard, but you will survive. I moved thousands of miles away with my 2 children. My mother was heartbroken . But we visited and she came to us. I was hoping she’d stay for 6 months, but after 3 months, she wanted to go back. She missed her home and her routine.

Did they live with you? I wonder if your DD thought you were a bit over involved? I hope she will allow you to visit her.. and perhaps allow you GD to visit you..

It will be crucial that you try to have her leave on good terms.. so that you can facetime and keep in contact with your GD...

then as others have suggested you could try to make a social life for yourself.. and maybe get some counselling as I imagine this will be a very painful situation for you to have to deal with when they leave.. stay open to any friendship when it arises.. good luck

This would be devastating either way but, it's a real shame you don't have any close relationships with other adults, even your own child

I think you really need support to work on that

Oh I ll just add volunteering is my lifeline abd a brilliant way to make like minded friends

It will be a wrench but they and you will still be able to visit and with face time and what’s app you can keep in touch with them and you re going to have to be brave and strong so the children don’t pick up on any sadness
It’s interesting that you don’t sound as if you will miss your daughter just the grand kids 🙃
The fact you have no family or friends is a real problem and something you need to rectify bit by bit Am I right that means you ll be living alone? Is this daughter your only child ?
It’s going to be hard but you have to expand your life now, no choice if you want to survive. Start to save up for visits and at 9 I would think your daughter will let your Grandaughter come for a long visit in the school hols 🤞🏼
You have stunted your life by being so limited but we re never too old to start and all I ll say is get started expanding or you ll have nothing to talk to that lovely grandaughter about
Good luck

Pfitz, I am sorry to hear that. One of my three children live quite far away, and there are several members on here that are distant grandparents.

Facetime, Whatsapp and similar will be the best way to communicate; thank goodness for modern technology.
I'm afraid you are going to have to face reality in the next while, and really take some steps to get out into society and make some connections.

Have a look at your nearby community centre and find out if there are groups to join, or classes to take where you can meet people. Or even find a part time job if you are able, since that is sometimes what connects us to others.