Overprotective parents with animals

My DM, when she was in her late eighties, reminded me of the time, when I was a young child, that I was letting a woodlouse crawl across my hand. Suddenly, all these baby woodlice appeared! What a surprise that was!

I was always playing with woodlice and beetles and became very adept at catching grasshoppers! 🦗We also had an Indian stick insect, which laid literally hundreds of eggs. We ran out of people to pass them on to!

Many, many years ago, I remember making mud pies in the garden with our friends. During the school holidays we played out from morning to early evening, walked to school in pouring rain and snow over our wellies. When the school boilers broke down we sat in the classroom wearing our outdoor clothing and then walked home afterwareds. We then changed into our playing out clothes and went out with our friends.

Our sons did the same, every house in the street had children and it was fantastic, sitting on the garden wall on a weekend chatting to other parents watching the children all play on their bikes and go-karts and they always went to the nearby park with my husband and other dads to play football and tennis.

We have quite a few children in our street from under school age to older ones and I never see them as they are taken to school (just down the road) in their parents cars and brought home again in their friends parent's cars, they never play out in their gardens. It is so weird and so sad. I wonder if it is because of the age of technology or the fear of being abducted but it is a strange world now compared to what I remember when I and our children were young.

In childhood I had all sorts of 'pets' and enjoyed poking around in the grass with my dad who showed me slow worms, grass snakes, frogs and toads.
Spiders were not my favourite but my GD and a friend took me to a small event where we were allowed to carefully touch all sorts of creatures and learn something about each one. At the end a huge spider was also shown to us individually which to my surprise I could look at it closely and ask questions. Its certainly helped me overcome my fear of spiders and I've popped several outside into the garden since then - but none of them were the size of the one we were shown!
It's so sad that some children are not allowed to get near various creatures. They're missing out on so much.
My daughter took me to a meerkat experience. It was just the two of us and the person in charge. The meerkats seems to enjoy exploring us; it was delightful and we learned lot.

My mother like many people was afraid of spiders and passed on that fear to me. However, i was determined not to pass that fear to my own children. I bought a book on insects and encouraged the children to look closely at creepy crawlies and try to identify them. It worked with most of my 5 (youngest not so well!) and helped me overcome my own fear.

flappergirl

You should read the hysteria on Mumsnet about animals, dogs in particular. So many poor dogs are rehomed or put to sleep after a baby arrives because the woman is paranoid about germs or the dog attacking the baby, even though it's the soppiest creature going. New mothers also seem to feel they can't possibly cope with a baby and a dog!

You would expect there to be a balance of replies on the subject but the majority of posters are in perfect agreement. Dogs are dirty, dangerous and any new mum would go insane if she even contemplated looking after both.

I suppose there has always been this attitude to some degree but sadly I think it's becoming the norm due to younger people's sanitised and bubble existence.

No wonder allergies and behavioural disorders are on the increase.

Good grief! I was brought up with dogs, as were my children. I was taught from a very early age to respect both animals and nature. Never to approach another dog unless owner said it was ok and never to pull dogs tails and ears.

We visited little open farms all the time and the beach, we swam in the water.

Baths and washing machines were made to clean dirty bodies and dirty clothes.

This sounds as though she has a real phobia that she could be helped with. Has anyone suggested that she receives therapy?
As someone who was brought up with horses and various types of animals I feel she is depriving these children of one of the most beautiful relationships children can experience..

and not allowing them to build a healthy immune system.. she needs help IMO

Such a shame that children are so affected by parents fears.
My eldest GS was chatting to me on the phone when all hell broke loose in his house, both his wife and 6 yr old were screaming hysterically upstairs he rushed up thinking something terrible happened, turned out his daughter spotted a ‘money’ spider on mummy’s shoulder and they were both screaming and thrashing about in panic to be rid of the beast. I hear all this going and later GS said I told them I’d put it out window but I couldn’t even find it.
We did have a giggle but I know he’s cross that Mum has passed her own fear on.

Feel sorry for what the children are missing out on, it's a shame your son let's it happen.
We were always outside, lived on a farm until I was 6 so used to all sorts of animals. My boys were outdoors playing from when they could walk.
A friend and her mother used to keep her girls very clean, I don't know how many times a day they had to wash their hands because they were "dirty". And clothes changed if they were thought to be grubby. Those girls caught every cold etc going, often at the doctors. I think he got fed up with seeing them as eventually he told my friend she was keeping them too clean and they would never have immunity from the daily germs if she didn't let them get dirty from time to time.
I have neighbours who's kids are afraid of anything that buzzes around the garden, see a bee or wasp and you can hear them screeching that there's an insect. The father of the eldest ones was in a right panic one day when he could see small bumble bees in a disused bird box on our wall, I just stood and looked at him and shook my head while thinking what an idiot he was. Bonus it kept him indoors while they were there lol.

I don't have a fear of mud germs yet. 30 years ago when my daughter was a tot, she was playing in my garden with a hose and lots of mud and giggling fiercely as the puppies ran through the mess. An elderly neighbor walked by and looked in astonishment and then tears came to her eyes while she said to me, "Why couldn't I let my girls get dirty and happy like that?"

I made a lot of mud pies too and decorated them beautifully with leaves and presented them to my mum. She said they were delicious!

I have to fess up here. All our family love animals but when we emigrated I put the fear of God into our little 2 year old about spiders because she used to touch them in the UK. I said all the Australian spiders were poisonous and would make her very sick if she touched them. She is terrified of them to this day and is now 52 years old ! A lesson in how to start a phobia.

A friend was delighted when her toddler refused to finger paint as her hands would get dirty 🙄
A zooologist friend allowed his students only one negative reaction, they could avoid spiders OR snakes OR some other creature but only one!

I don’t understand this, my granddaughters nursery nurtures the childrens love and care of animals. They have just hatched some chicks which she was so excited about. They have a man called The Animal Man who comes each term with spiders, lizards snakes and more. All the children get to hold, they love it. They have visited a llama farm and walked the llamas also a care pony visited who they all adored.
My daughter is never bothered about her playing and getting mucky, also sometimes I get told off for helping her on climbing frames and walls or coming down poles etc, my daughter says she has to try and work it out for herself. She is a real daredevil and has lots of bruises. But we know some other Mums who won’t let the children climb, balance, roll down hills, jump off things - in case they hurt themselves. I find this sad they are missing out on so much.

I know of many adults that are afraid of spiders, insects, birds etc, it usually starts in childhood learnt from the parents behaviour, such a shame to set them up for a lifetime of fear.

When we were kids we collected caterpillars in jars and made mud pies. Feel sorry for the caterpillars now. The obly insects I avoid are wasps because I got stung on the lip by one as a child and had to be taken to A&E with allergic reaction.

Wher we were small we had an outside loo. Very large spiders would sometimes lurk there. My sister was terrified of them. She would ask me to go out and remove them or kill them so she could go. Several times she wet herself because I said no.

Now I collect spiders carefully if I find them in inconvenient places and put them outside.

My eldest GS hates bees and flying insects, always has done and no amount of reassurance has changed him.
My Sister in Law is terrified of spiders won't go in a room if she sees one.
Some people just don't like creepy crawlies.
Some people don't like animals.
It's quite often just the way they are and nothing to do with a protective parent.
Dogs are a major commitment and owning one is hard work, with small children and work many couples just don't have the time for one.

You should read the hysteria on Mumsnet about animals, dogs in particular. So many poor dogs are rehomed or put to sleep after a baby arrives because the woman is paranoid about germs or the dog attacking the baby, even though it's the soppiest creature going. New mothers also seem to feel they can't possibly cope with a baby and a dog!

You would expect there to be a balance of replies on the subject but the majority of posters are in perfect agreement. Dogs are dirty, dangerous and any new mum would go insane if she even contemplated looking after both.

I suppose there has always been this attitude to some degree but sadly I think it's becoming the norm due to younger people's sanitised and bubble existence.

No wonder allergies and behavioural disorders are on the increase.

DGS2’s nursery has chickens, guinea pigs and rabbits. He’s very hands on (he’s just 3) compared to some of the other children who are just plain terrified! Such a shame.

I worked with a mum of two young children, she had ocd and the children lived very restricted lives because of her fear of germs, it was very sad. The marriage broke up but in time with support she was able to relax a little but I often wonder about the children who were so affected by this.

Yes they have attended nursery, but not sure if they played mud pies

He trys, but his wife is the boss 😆 he wanted a dog last year, but DIL overruled.

And what does your son do to counteract this?

Did the children not go to nursery? Our nurseries here positively encourage the children to go out and play outdoors - with things like mud kitchens and so on. We have a photo of my grandson at nursery literally covered from head to toe in mud - and as happy as the proverbial pig in it!

I had a neighbour who used to take her little boy to a mother and toddler group. He would spend the whole morning strapped in his pushchair so he didn't get on the floor and get dirty!

Yes it’s sad, I always made mud pies, so did my children, but my sons wife is the opposite, and now the children 👧