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Confused

(8 Posts)
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Gurms Tue 09-Jul-24 14:09:22

My son has alienated my grandson from me for almost 6 months now. Both my son and dil live with me. I have written here before of my predicament and was advised that it would be best to sell the house which I have finally decided is the best thing to do. I have already started the procedure and the house will be going on sale next week. However, now my son wants to reconcile and start paying for the bills which he and his wife did not pay for the last three years that they have lived with me. I have agreed to give him $200,000 as a deposit for his new house but he claims that it is not enough and that I am throwing him out with a baby. He had also purchased a condo about 2 years ago which is on rental and now he will have 2 mortgages. . From my past experience I know that even if I were to reconcile it is not easy staying with both of them and until now they still keep the baby away from me just because I refuse to give up my other son's room who had moved away . I feel so depressed and guilty although my gut feeling tells me it is better that I separate from them for my mental state. I feel so stuck and he keeps telling my friends that I am giving him a lot of stress as it is going to be difficult for him to manage a house with a baby. He is not selling his condo as the prices have dropped quite a bit since he purchased it. Any thoughts or advise? Thanks

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tanith Tue 09-Jul-24 15:19:09

Your house you can sell it if you want, hes so needy I'd tell him to go live in his condo and i certainly wouldnt be giving him money. Thats just me others will have a different solutipn.

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sodapop Tue 09-Jul-24 15:39:40

Exactly right tanith another entitled adult child using his son as a bargaining chip.
You should do whatever is best for you Gurms you have helped your family enough now.

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Smileless2012 Wed 10-Jul-24 17:59:15

I wouldn't give him a cent after the way you've been treated Gurms. If you do, stick to what you've offered and if he doesn't think it's enough, he'll just have to suck it up.

There's an old saying isn't there that when someone shows you who they really are, believe them. Well I know he's your son but he has shown you who he really is and if you agree to this reconciliation, he'll revert back to the person he's been up until now.

As sodapop's posted he's using your GC as a bargaining chip, which only goes to show just how unpleasant he's prepared to be.

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Fleur20 Wed 10-Jul-24 18:39:52

You do realise that whatever he says now... whatever you agree to.. he will continue to abuse you emotionally and use his child as a bargaining point.
He will just keep moving the goalposts.. more money.. more money.. more money
So keep your 200,000 and live your life for you.
If you so wish you can leave money in your will, in trust, for your grandson for when he reaches an age when he can make his own decisions.

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Mark1157 Wed 10-Jul-24 18:44:07

Strange he's offering to help after you decided to sell ditch him son or not he will bleed you dry an he won't give a fuck what happens to you when the monies gone after all he will still have a place to live

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NotSpaghetti Wed 10-Jul-24 18:48:26

I'm another who says he should mobile into the condo.
Keep the house on yhe market.
Good luck. 🍀

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BigMamma Wed 10-Jul-24 18:50:44

Tell him to go and play on the motorway. what a terrible person he sounds.

Sell your house, leave the area and enjoy your money, I would not give the little so and so anything.

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