Haven't been allowed to see new grandson yet

Actually I think their taking the time to formulate how their family will work is refreshing. Many times (and I can include myself in this), Grandmothers swoop in and minimize the Dad. Be patient and see how it goes. There's nothing purer than a Grandmother's love, but it's their family...they're in it 24/7 and may be working to make sure their family works for them - call it divorce prevention. Good luck, be patient.

I agree with all those who have told the OP to be patient and wait for an invite. You are not the important one here, your wishes/wants come miles down the list of importance to a new mother.
When I had my 2 children (over 30 years ago), I made it clear to EVERYONE that I didn't want any visitors in the hospital and that EVERYONE must wait until invited to visit us at home.
Everyone complied with my wishes, that is, with the exception of my mother and sister. They said they had a RIGHT to see the baby (on both occasions). Needless to say, I was absolutely fuming because everyone else was prepared to wait until we were back home and settled.
Because of these breaches of trust, I made sure that my mother and sister didn't get invited to see either child for 3 months and 9 months respectively. I knew my mother was the instigator of the visits, but she wouldn't have been able to get to the hospital (on either occasion) without my sister skiving a day off work to take her, so I made her wait longer because she SHOULD have said "No mum, Harmonypuss said no visitors and to give her time to get to know the baby", but she didn't.
So the moral of my story is to stay in contact with the new mum and just play it by ear because if you overstep the mark, you could be pushed away for a lot longer!

I said the same thing to my mother when I had my first baby. That was in 1978. I knew that my mum would know more than me about dealing with babies, and I wanted some time for us to settle in and find our own feet before dealing with my mum’s ideas as well. My mum was very upset by this, it it was what I needed. Your daughter’s feelings and needs are more important than yours right now. Back off and give her space.

Three days’ wait might be acceptable at a stretch but any longer is not. Parents must realise that they haven’t bought a personal pet or possession. They are launching a new person into the world who will need a lot of help and support throughout their lives. Keeping grandparents at bay is not acceptable.

Gosh! 3 Days!!! Can you remember how fast the first month flies by when it is your first!!! Give her time to catch her breath.

I’m really sorry for you but I think they are just spending time as a family. I’m sure she will include you. She will be grateful for your help. Meantime she has her husband there which is nice. 👌 never saw my grandson for almost 6 months. My DS lives over seas. They are currently over staying with me for just 10 days. I try to make the most of it. It’s a precious time. I try not to show it when they leave because I know I won’t see them for another year. Cheer up maybe they could send you a photo on WhatsApp.

Maybe the new parents could send you photos or a video of the new baby.
Or even arrange a zoom call.
That way they are in control and not under pressure to have the house organised or even to offer you refreshment.

You need to respect their wishes, it's not the end of the world.

I’m afraid it’s the new norm these days. We had to wait two weeks to meet our first grandchild and it still hurts now.
I remember I couldn’t wait to introduce my son to his family- they all came 1st day to visit me in hospital.
You have my sympathy and understanding🫂🫂

Everyone says its the modern way ....but I've never experienced this ....not with my own GC or any of my friends or colleagues becoming GP.....we have all met our GC the day they were born or day after .....its just not a thing where I am

It’s definitely the modern trend. They want to stay at home in their little milky family bubble to “nest”. No germs allowed in the house, but friends and relatives are encouraged to drop off casseroles and brownies.

‘I just want to see my grandson’ - you have to realise that this is your priority but not the parents’. Give the space and time and a good lasting relationship will probably evolve. Keep demanding and pushing and you would be adding to stress as they cope with the huge change in their lives.

I understand your excitement but it's only been 3 days.

She may not feel up to visitors. She may have had a tough birth. Give her a little time.

Three days isn't long!
I doubt anyone else is that interested in how long it's been, anyway.

It's the modern way OP. I didn't realise it was the same in the States but it's definitely the way things are done now in the UK. Grandparents, or anyone, are not allowed within 50 miles of the newborn for at least a week, maybe two. The reason is "bonding". The new parents think visitors will unbalance their relationship with their new baby. How exactly I don't know.

I can understand the backlash to an extent. Grandparents, aunties, uncles and every man and his dog used to descend unannounced on a bloody and sore new mother, trying to discretely breastfeed, and stay for hours. Some relatives even demanded to be in the delivery room.

It's now gone in the opposite direction.

My parents met our babies after a week or two, if I recall correctly. Mum was raising young children, no time to come round (60 yrs ago).

I thought it was wonderful I wasn't on to answer the door, make tea, get dressed, do my hair, face, etc -come to that.

I don't believe times have changed, new parents are merely much more willing to express their wishes to all and sundry.

Don't be embarrassed waiting a few days/weeks seems quite normal.

look up the fourth trimester.

It isn't a mystery why new parents do this nowadays.

There is plenty of research to suggest that bonding between mother and child (father too, to a lesser extent) during the first few days/weeks with a newborn can have huge benefits to all parties. There's lots of information out there about it. A babies brain is still developing and we know more about what helps that than we used to. Common advice now is to keep visitors to a minimum during this period.

They aren't even home from the hospital from the sounds of it so maybe give them the space they are asking for.

I'm sure it is different from what you wanted and expected, but there's good reason for it that has nothing to do with you specifically.

I think it's best to let them take the approach they want without layering on guilt and expectations. Not that you specifically are doing that, OP. Just talking in general.

They are likely trying to do the best they can based on what we know now about the early days of a newborn. I think it makes sense that common practice would change over time.

I think you should take a step back and not take this personally or make it all about you. Three days is no time at all! A generation ago, new mothers would be in hospital for ten days and visiting times strictly controlled. The new mother had time to adjust to her new role, learning how to feed and care for the new baby as well as recover from the birth itself.

This is a precious time for your dd and her dh, let them spend time with their baby son and have him all to themselves. Be patient and I’m sure they’ll soon be wanting to share their beautiful boy with everyone.

It's been 3 days and you've been living away for 10 years.

In the nicest way, in those 10 years they would of paved a way, they have their own unit, their ways of coping, they may of prepared a lot, you can't swoop in and demand to help when they may not want it.

Just take a step back and give them space.

It’s “the thing now” you’ll just have to wait……

Katniss

"I just want to see my grandson"
How about your daughter, she doesn't count?
Yes! Of course she counts. I want to see her too! I want to hear all about the birth and everything she wants to share. It was already a long post, and I just left out that part.

Perhaps this is why she hasn't asked you round yet, she knows your personality and just isn't up to your enthuisiasm for every detail.

I mean, it isn't as if she hasn't told you quite clearly why she wants no one around yet.
She said some things like she'll let us know when a good time would be after they get settled and into more of a routine--maybe a couple of weeks or more!!

Many new mothers these days, not just in the USA, but in the UK and other countries, want to have a quiet time at home with just themselves and partner while they adjust to the immense change in their lives.

I can see why. Most women are working and will be returning to work after maternity leave. Quite often they choose to work until quite close to their due date. They do not go through the 'nesting' process most women went through in the weeks before giving birth that those of us who had children in more leisurely times did. The move from working woman to mother, is a far bigger jump than it was, so these first few weeks alone for parents and child help them to reset their lives.

I would also say that in your post, you come across as one of those enthusiastic women always rushing round doing things and helping people.

When you see your grandchild, curb, your enthusiasm. be quiet. Be silent and concentrate on listening and do nothing unless asked to first.

3 days is a very short time - if it had been 3 months since the birth, you might have reason to be upset. I think you'll find everyone here says the same thing - just be patient and give the new family a chance to get settled.

When our first grandchild was due, in another country, I booked a flight a month after the due date, so the parents would have a chance to adjust.

I don’t understand it either.

I don’t understand this current trend, which is evidently in the US as well as the UK.
You just have to be patient. Sorry.