Help!

Thank you for replying. I shall carry on as normal.

Ignore it. Small children have favourite people which changes as often as the weather. If you draw attention to it, you risk creating a drama which helps no-one.

Any advise would be welcome.
I look after my 3 year old granddaughter on a Friday which I absolutely love.
My son (stepson for context) and his wife are great and included me and my husband from the offset. I would be Nana from the get go. My stepsons mum wasn’t happy about it and made it clear but we moved on.

Over Christmas we were singing our favourite Xmas songs, my GD then asked if I could play her other Nanas favourite song which I did. I started singing it and she said ‘you can’t sing that as Nana doesn’t like you’
I was a little shocked but ignored the comment and carried on.
Today we visited grandad at work. Out of nowhere my GD said. I love Nana more than you!
I know she’s only 3 but it really hurt. I didn’t say anything just carried on playing as didn’t know how react.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
Thank you

Your GD is finding her voice and wants to be heard. She sounds intelligent and gets frustrated and goes in a mood when not listened too.

Your GD may be mirroring behaviour she hears at home. One of her parents might talk in the same manner while having a conversation.

You could tell her in your own way it is rude to interrupt any conversation. Also its polite to speak to people the way you would like to be spoken too.

Wise words from gran might just be what she needs and the attention she might just like.

Maybe she’s heading for the stage She certainly likes holding an audience and good for her She could be sitting in the corner afraid to say anything (that was me wouldn’t say boo to a goose)
I have one Grandaughter who could talk for an hour with barely taking a breathe telling stories in a very entertaining manner She’s in her early 20 s now and can still talk the hind leg off a donkey
I wouldn’t follow your grandaughter when she humpfs off just carry on without her
She will learn her place as time goes by and the more fuss you make the more she ll try to override you. I d listen to her story and as it draws to a close, someone else take over and if she humphs let her, she ll learn
I wouldn’t give her a lecture about listening, taking turns etc that ll fall on deaf ears, her personality is to lead and get attention it will taper down
Have there been complaints from school that’s she overpowering in class or playground?

If/when she storms off in a huff, let her go. She’ll come round. Bad behaviour never did warrant attention.

A bit of a diva, best way to deal with it is to say that if she wants you to listen to her that she has to listen to others as well, and ignore it when she storms off, she wants a reaction.
Also make sure you mention it to her parents, odds on they already know what you are talking about, and make sure you are all on the same page when dealing with this.
Some children do go through a precocious phase. Hopefully it won’t last long.

Explain adult discourse to her. This is how it should work i.e. turn take, listen, ask questions and this is how it sometimes turns out if people do not follow the rules of conversation i.e. butting in, cutting people up, not listening, Ask her which one she prefers when having a conversation and also what sort of conversations she has at school and are her friends good at conversation. She will start to see perspective from an adult point of view and it will be a lifelong lesson for her.

you could always try the talking stick used by native americans, then she would be given the chance to talk and listen..as would everyone else. only the person holding the stick talks..

X post Thoro - sorry.

You say she decides to hold court and tell a tale - is she just trying to be part of the conversation and wants equal weight be given to her observations as the adults?
Is she talked-over fairly regularly?

Just wondering. I say this as I realised I got fed up listening to my 11/12 year old grandson "joining in" adult chats (on politics, environmental issues, the news for example) as he took ages to make his point. He hadn't yet mastered the give and take of adult conversation. Some of us jumped in "helping" we thought but it made him cross.

He's 13 now and very adept at intelligent conversation (even being remarked on at a recent wider-family gathering). He's quite bright and still has his own thoughts and opinions but can pop them into adult chat much more effectively now.

He's full of ideas and will debate and hold his own with the best of us now!
He also enjoys a drama group where he gets to hold forth I suspect 😂

I'd maybe cut your granddaughter some slack... I think she's going through a developmental phase and will be all the better for your patient encouragement.

I think you should cut her some slack. She's 12 and not sure if she's functioning as an adult to be listened to or a child where others butt in or tell her to be quiet. Her hormones will also be swirling around. We want our children to be confident- help her to be by listening.

Nor!

Can you speak to her parents? Or are you in a position where you can pull her into line - someone needs to put her in her place. Some children and young people have a great sense of importance and entitlement! It needs nipping in the bud in IMO. If she storms out of the room , don't let her back in !!!!! The adults around her must make it very clear under that she is not in charge - not is it the 'Laura' ? Show.

Does she do that when her parents are there? If so, and they don't intervene, then they are the problem. She sounds very rude and used to being queen. If she interrupts, I would say, "Hang on, we're still talking." If she takes offence at being reprimanded and storms off, let her. Ignore bad behaviour. If she's so determined to be listened to, she'll come back. She's possibly feeling her age and trying to be adult but getting it wrong as teenagers do.

You should explain to her that people take "turns at talk" and that for one person to talk all the time and demand others listen to them is rude. It doesnt matter whether its an adult or a child.