Long Distance

Then all is good, you have a nice life, one daughter appreciates you the other not so much, just carry on doing what your doing Visit them both when you can, do for them what you can, and that’s basically it.
Nothing else you can do is there

Maybe the daughter who wants more help can move near you!

It's good to have balance in your life though!

Continue as you are doing would be my advice. It’s really down to your DD and her partner to sort out childcare, not be resentful of you because you aren’t doing the child care in the way she would wish you to. Keep the balance you have.

Your daughter and partner chose to have children, childcare is their issue, not yours. Enjoy your retirement.

Best to ignore the resentment and enjoy your present life

Would this issue with your DD2 be something that money might help? Maybe if they could afford some paid childcare, she might be less resentful.
But you would have to be fair to DD1.

I don't think parents should expect grandparents to take on childcare as a right. Of course, many GPs are happy to do it, if they are fit and healthy.

You live too far away to give regular childcare and your daughter shouldn't expect you to change your happy life to do it.
I didn't expect or get any help from my parents and in-laws. We sorted out childcare ourselves.
I've noticed young parents today seem to think that their own parents
should step in as unpaid childminders.
Just carry on enjoying the life you have made for yourself.

If you visit once a month and they visit you once a year I don’t see a problem, you are getting plenty of quality time with the GCs.
Sounds like a good balance.
You can’t be there to help regularly with childcare but you are doing the best you can, and your ACs have to realise that their lives are their responsibility not yours, though of course you would be there for them if they needed it, just not living locally.
Continue to enjoy your lives, you have both done your time and are now making the most of your retirement. Life is too short.

Childcare is not your responsibility. They are your grandchildren, not your children. You did not choose to have them, your daughter did. If she was unable to source or afford proper childcare she should've waited until she could. She has no right to feel resentment and the problem is hers, not yours. You deserve your happy retirement so please don't let her attitude colour it for you. Carry on as you are!

Perhaps, as the GC get bigger, you could offer to take them (together or separately) for a week or so in the school holidays. That could be really helpful to working parents and an opportunity to spend time with the children.

We would LOVE to!