Is It Wrong To Feel Like This ?

It is hard I know. I am lucky to have DDs and have been involved with the GC a lot, but as I get less able and less capable if being of use, I do see less of them. I get loving messages, but I am less involved.
To their credit they have always involved both sides of the families and I applaud them for thst.

One of my local DDs has a MIL who is much younger and fitter than I and inevitably is more involved in a practical capacity. Does it hurt sometimes? ... I guess it does a bit, but I do of course understand completely and say nothing. They are doing nothing wrong. My circumstances are unfortunate and are not of their making.

One thing I would say to the OP is that you do have each other and that us somethingbto be enjoyed ... do not waste the time you have together in feeling aggrieved about this. Just enjoy doing stuff together and focus on that.

I see “DIL” and I see “them/they”.

This issue is with your son exclusively, OP.

It is up to him to ensure quality time is spent with you. You and your husband are his parents. This is his relationship to manage. If you feel used, tell him so. I’m sure your son isn’t the one leading plans with her side; it’s likely that she is the one. It’s his responsibility to do the same for your side… if this is what he desires. That is the underlying factor here. People tend to make time for what they want. Don’t blame your DIL for what your son does or doesn’t want to do.

I am sorry you feel used and de-prioritized. It’s rough when you don’t get as much time with family as we’d like. Hopefully, in time when your grandchild is older arrangements can be made for you to have him on your own. In the meantime, stay away from the social media and comparisons. I promise it won’t help you at all.