Help. I don't want to play with Barbie or Paw Patrol

Yes Elrel your experience is a lovely reminder of the joy in imaginative play

Elrel

GD was obsessed with Steve Irwin, every day she would say ’Play!’ to me very firmly and get out all the little plastic animals. Enclosures were built, animals would go to drink, feed, fight, sleep, even give birth. When he died I didn’t know how to tell her so I didn’t. A few days later she said casually, ‘It’s a shame about Steve, isn’t it Nan?’ and carried on with the game. I had her almost every weekend and school holiday for several years and don’t regret putting many of my social activities on hold until she was in her teens. She now has a daughter of her own and is very grateful to me for being there to ‘Play!’ When she was small. Times goes by so quickly, they are not demanding little people for very long.

Lovely story, Elrel

Did your DD go into animal care when she grew up?

Sara1954

I agree it’s very nice for them, but the noise, the smell, they always seem to serve chips with everything, it’s always bitterly cold, I guess because the children would expire from overheating if it was warmer. Big children in the baby areas, unchecked by parents, squabbles, screeching, everything feels tacky and grubby, despite the staff being quite conscientious.
I have spent a lot of time in them, but they are absolutely my worst activity, give me Barbie any day.

Oh yes, you need ear defenders in those places.

GD was obsessed with Steve Irwin, every day she would say ’Play!’ to me very firmly and get out all the little plastic animals. Enclosures were built, animals would go to drink, feed, fight, sleep, even give birth. When he died I didn’t know how to tell her so I didn’t. A few days later she said casually, ‘It’s a shame about Steve, isn’t it Nan?’ and carried on with the game. I had her almost every weekend and school holiday for several years and don’t regret putting many of my social activities on hold until she was in her teens. She now has a daughter of her own and is very grateful to me for being there to ‘Play!’ When she was small. Times goes by so quickly, they are not demanding little people for very long.

Oh dear Sara1954 no that wouldn't appeal to me either ☹️
We were lucky, there is one attached to the bowling alley that was just the right size for the pre-schoolers we looked after, and we always went when the bigger children were at school.

I agree it’s very nice for them, but the noise, the smell, they always seem to serve chips with everything, it’s always bitterly cold, I guess because the children would expire from overheating if it was warmer. Big children in the baby areas, unchecked by parents, squabbles, screeching, everything feels tacky and grubby, despite the staff being quite conscientious.
I have spent a lot of time in them, but they are absolutely my worst activity, give me Barbie any day.

Soft play to my mind is a safe place for children to go and explore, without an adult constantly by their side.
It's somewhere a child can learn about a shared experience with other children, make a friend.
As long as you can see them, and they know where you are if they need you, I see nothing wrong with sitting and watching 🤷🏻

I admit I like to get out to have a break from play. With the oldest we always went to story morning at the library, I also did gymnastics with the two older ones, but you have to find something on the day you are looking after them.
We did lots of NT properties, in the holidays they tend to do activities, soft play, now that is something I really dislike, is an absolute last resort.

From the age of 2 my oldest grandson was obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and we built miles of track and played endlessly with the engines. Then he moved on to Postman Pat and we drove miles delivering letters. The final one was Fireman Sam which seemed to go on for ever, rescuing people over and over again. When he was about 4 we started being able to watch the TV programmes and read the books, and once he started school he moved quickly onto computer games, which he knew I was no good at. His brother and his cousin were quite different and played happily on their own,

We used to go to a singing and movement session, mostly they were young Mums but all very friendly.

Have you any contact with parents/grandparents of other children? Could you find a playgroup that she could go to? I used to take DGS to a 2hr session that he loved, especially the clearing up - odd because he is so untidy now - and running madly around the empty space with other children.

Luckygirl3

One of the joys of being with a grandchild is entering their world with them and taking joy in it.

Because she senses your resistance to doing this she pushes harder and gets angry when when you refuse.

Just join her flow and enjoy it.

Yes it is a privilege - if you're allowed!!
😁

Goodness, following a three year old in imaginative play is indulgent. No it’s developmentally expected and needed

Have a large battery run clock face in front of her. If you say start at 3.00 point to the big hand and tell her that when the big hand gets to the 15 (point to the 15) (3.15) you will go and make cakes and she can help if she wants to. When cakes finished tell her that you will play with her until the
big hand is on the ....And so on. You can also tell her when she asks that you will play when big hand gets to .... (dont make it too long a wait) Get her watching the clock whilst she "gets ready to play - ie is actually playing on her own to get ready for you! This process both helps to "teach" playing alone" and gives a sense of time scales to wait plus it teaches that your wishes matter too. If you stick at it it will work. Sadly her parents are inadvertently teaching her instant gratification of her wishes ...I know she is only little but all of the above is positive whilst also showing a different way.

Unless you are my husband who is always "right in there", Iam.
Visiting children over the years have always said "oh, is MrSpaghetti not going to play too" and would be sad if he was out!
I almost definitely 2nd choice.

Apologies for skim reading responses.
Imaginative play of the kind most three year olds love, is a key developmental stage. Doesn’t matter if we don’t like Barbie or paw patrol they really do. It’s a phase which will pass. The key thing is to follow not lead 💖

RedRidingHood

I don't have GC but when my own children were 3 and 1 life got very much easier because they role played together.
Only children need more adult input.

‘ Only children need more adult input.’

Interesting. I think it depends what you see as ‘adult input’, as again I’d say go in to their world. Our playgroup had two or three benches, some scarves and hats, and other random paraphernalia, and there was some fantastic imaginative play went on when they were set out. However, we had one lady who always joined in, having decided it was to be a bus, or a schoolroom, or a hospital, and the children were decidedly unenthusiastic!
For me it was definitely a case of being ‘child led’ is best.

Luckygirl3

One of the joys of being with a grandchild is entering their world with them and taking joy in it.

Because she senses your resistance to doing this she pushes harder and gets angry when when you refuse.

Just join her flow and enjoy it.

Sorry, Luckygirl, I missed page 3! Great minds and that!

No matter how reluctant you are, I’m afraid it’s a case of ‘going in to her world’! She’s maybe a bit young for co-operative play, so the stage before that is parallel play, where you both role play with Barbie or Paw Patrol and cross over as and when. Of course you’ll feel silly, but you might be surprised what happens when you just ‘go with the flow’.
We may have the ideal vision of a cosy afternoon baking, followed by snuggling down reading stories, but your young playmate may have other ideas!

One of the joys of being with a grandchild is entering their world with them and taking joy in it.

Because she senses your resistance to doing this she pushes harder and gets angry when when you refuse.

Just join her flow and enjoy it.

Not all only children, RedRidingHood - surely they are as happy on their own as anyone else...

My "only child" granddaughter is about the same regarding independent play as her cousin who is one of three. They are less than a year apart.

Sorry are you there to entertain her? You're the adult she's 3! You set the rules. Read a book with her,watch her fave tv show, not a choice. My grandaughter is nearly 4.. I set the rules,not her and she accepts it and I love her dearky as you do but.....If her parents want to indulge her that's their choice....you don't have to. Sorry if that sounds harsh it's not meant to be but you set the rules not your grandaughter. Good luck.

I don't have GC but when my own children were 3 and 1 life got very much easier because they role played together.
Only children need more adult input.

BlueBelle

Just value it as it’s a very precious time and you are privileged
It ll never return unless you’re lucky enough to have great grandkids and you’re not too old to enjoy them It lasts such a short time before you know it it ll be after school clubs and other friends houses and you ll soon be redundant and won’t have to make the sacrifice of a bit of grandaughters favourite play toys….. and then if you have any boy grandkids it ll be standing in the wind and rain and cold every Saturday watching him play football
I d give a thousand pound to be back on the football pitch cheering those little legs on and making slides from chair to chair for actionman to escape on
Now it’s peppa pig and paw patrol and dinosaurs you lucky lady

Exactly this BlueBelle. I regret the times when I said no now that DGD is nearly 14. We do other things together now though and I try my very best not to take anything for granted. They grow up so quickly.

It’s just so sweet to watch them and listen to them, their imaginations are working overtime, and some of the things they come out with are hilarious.
My six year old will undoubtedly be the last until the great grandchildren arrive, and that could be any time, but I just want to enjoy every minute with her, even though I sometimes feel exhausted when she goes home