Not excited about new grandbaby

Apart from juanna61's original post on 17/11 and a deleted post on 22/2, there hasn't been any other communication. I hope all is well with juanna61 and her little grandson is a happy and healthy baby 👶 x

If youhave a sense of family duty towards your new small relation that is enough to be going on with. You can't force emotions to happen. You are not alone, and there is too much hyperbole about emotion in family relationships---they are as they are , and people feel differently .

I felt both happy and concerned - all my AC children are DDs and while I loved the idea of a new GC I was also aware of what they were going to have to go through.

juanna61

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Do you mean post or thread?

I think young people are more emotional these days. They seem to require a lot more oohs and aaahs than I remember needing. It didn’t cross my mind that my relations wouldn’t love my babies, I just presumed they did and they seemed to!
If they didn’t then I didn’t realise.
Why can’t you pretend?

Is this a question about your feelings. Are you concerned? Or is about your DIL needed a show of emotion from you?

I’m another who felt bad for not experiencing an instant mrush of love for my first grandchild. It came 3 months later - we were in France, it was hot, and dd (always a water baby so keen to get Gdd following in her footsteps) had her in the pool, but I could see that she was getting cold. So I had her on my lap, snuggled in a nice warm towel, and that’s when the ‘rush’ finally came.

Would you have felt differently about a girl?

Some people prefer children as they are older . Don’t feel guilty

I love all of them, nothing 'emotional' - your DIL seems odd.

My friend days she doesn’t feel the same about her sons child as she does about her daughters….now I think that’s very strange!

I saw all six of my grandchildren within an hour of their birth.
Because my kids wanted me to be there and I cried with joy that my daughter and DIL had come through the births safely and babies were healthy .Two of my girls have my name as their middle name and my favourite ( only) grandson is named after my much loved dad.
They range from 23 down to two years old and I love them all to the moon and back
I come from a close family and have a very close relationship with my children and their spouses.
Family is everything to me,I can’t imagine not being emotional around a precious new life.

You are fine just being you xx Just always be you, we all feel and show our love in very different ways, there’s no right or wrong way

juanna61

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Report it to HQ, if you explain it’s your own post, they will delete it.

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I never told anyone, but while I was very happy, I never felt the huge rush of love I was fully expecting, when I first held my first Gdc.

It did come a few months later. We were at a BiL’s place in France, where there was a pool. Dd (always a water baby) was anxious to start Gdd1 early, but after watching for a while I thought little Gdd (still only about 3 months) was getting cold.

So I had her on my lap, well wrapped up in a nice warm towel, when the ‘rush’ finally came. ❤️

When my friend had her first grandchild she wasn’t excited and said (to me).
‘Just someone else to worry about’.

Maybe it’s to do with whether or not you like babies in the first place. When I was about 14, I used to take my parents’ friends’ babies out for walks. I couldn’t get enough of them. I adored babies! When my daughters had their babies, I was thrilled and excited.
At the same age, my best friend, on the other hand, did not have any interest at all and when her children started their families, she couldn’t have cared less.
Luckily, once the babies wee born, she was won over and all was well.
Funnily enough, one of my daughters much prefers children to be two or three and isn’t really that interested in the baby stage.
Each to his own!

How many GC do you have? Honestly, by the time it got to 6 and 7 I had to force myself to be excited.

While it seems from comments here that it is perfectly normal, do YOU wonder why you are not? And what might have caused it?

Are you close to DIL? or indeed your son, now he is married?

And your DIL has commented, so is she basing her comments on her own mother's different reaction? Or is she not close to her own mother, so was looking for enthusiasm from you to compensate?

If she needs it at the moment (hormones), then could you either explain that you are not demonstrative that way, or just fake a bit more?

What a strange thing to say..'emotional' ?? I was delighted when my daughter saud she was pregnant but emtional?

I just read again it's your Dil not your daughter. There maybe other dynamics there. Hard to say without the whoke picture. Good luck x

@juanna61

Of course we don't need to go gaga over a baby. But it obviously bothers you that you don't feel strong emotions towards the new baby and that your daughter has noticed this.

Do you have other GC? Did you feel the same about them? Did you feel excited during your DD pregnancy but now it's an anti-climax? What is it do you think that's bothering you..? Let yourself think these things through and the real issues might surface. Or maybe there is nothing underneath. But it's good to dig past the surface reaction- and can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves and empathy for others.
Congtatulations on the birth of your baby grandson though xx

I’ve only just bonded with my grandkids and they are 4 & 6. I suddenly fell in love with them.

I can't say I was exactly excited before the GC were born, just pleased for the parents as these were planned and wanted babies.
I'd never say this to the AC or GC, but there is one who always felt more like "our" child and one who felt like a little stranger. We loved them both to bits, I still do of course, and they are both lovely and affectionate young people.

is it because it's a boy? have you other grandchildren?