Discipline

I used to make it into a game when my three were young.
I used to say, I bet you can't be into bed before I count to 10.
They shot up the stairs.

I think I’d ask my daughter to have a strong word with the children so that they know they must do what you say (or more to the point, what their mother says). It shouldn’t be your responsibility to discipline them in that situation and I can understand why you don’t want to.

I probably should have clarified - when they are at my house, it's easier. I do say these are my rules and that's it. It's babysitting at their house that is challenging. But these comments are equally applicable so thank you!

One of the 'advantages' of being older is exhaustion. Yes my 9yo DGD has always stayed up quite late here (9.30?), but we tend to go to bed within half an hour of each other. The hall light is on until I go to bed, and when I go in then, she's always asleep.
As a teacher, imo when your DGC say 'No!', they're pushing boundaries. You let them get away with it now, you will pay. And you have 3? All at the same time? Wow. I'm a 'grannie's house, grannie's rules'. I'd drop subtle hints that maybe next time only the younger 2 stay. They're getting older and so are you - it's supposed to be a pleasure having them stay!

My DD’s both used to say ‘grans house, grans rules so do as you’re told and behave yourselves or else’ Not sure what or else was but they were always good for me when they stayed over. At bedtime we would all snuggle up and have a story, each of them chipping in with a comment or a variation. Pretty soon they were yawning and slept through the night.

I always found a pre-warning worked well.

10 more minutes to bedtime
Bedtime at the end of this game
One more story and it’s bedtime

That kind of stuff. Most of us establish some kind of wind down to bedtime routine rather than just bedtime when we’re still in full flow.

These comments are all so very helpful. Thank you!

We managed our granddaughters by slightly extending home bedtime on the understanding if they didn’t cooperate bedtime would be much earlier for the next sleepover. It worked. Our grandson has autism and told us firmly we should stick to his routine. So we did. .

I admit I wasn’t very strict with my grandchildren but they ve all turned out very, very good, intelligent, hard working young people

M0nica

if children are to grow into sensible and successful adults then they need to learn that when adults, especially those close to them tell them to do something - like go to bed at their usual bedtime that if they defy these orders there will be an eual and euivalent penalty.

Other posters have suggested what you can do. Having told the children what will happen you must then, if necessary do it.

DD once told me that often when she was inclined to disobey, she obeyed because she knew if I told her what would happen if she didn't obey, she could be sure it would happen if she didn't obey and it was the knowledge that I would always do what I said that kept her well behaved.

My son to his daughter age 3

"Why is it that whenever Granny asks you to do something you just do what Granny says?"

Grand-daughter " When Granny says it, she means it".

The only thing I’d say is never threaten something you won’t carry out, never back yourself in a corner!

I babysat once for my goddaughter , she was 8, had ADHD and was a handful for her “too kind” mother, my best friend.

They went out for the evening and I asked want time was bedtime, what routine etc. Goddaughter could read in bed for a short while if she went to bed at such and such a time.

We did this and I went up and switched off the light. Checked 10 minutes later light back on. Turned it back off said if it went back on again she would be in trouble. Same thing happened so I got a stool and took out the light bulb. She was gobsmacked but we didn’t have any more trouble after that . Her mother would just have kept coaxing her and getting nowhere .

On another note I agree bedtimes can be more flexible in Grannies house

If you have permission to discipline uour GC ' then do it ! Failing that they will run rings round you. Good luck. xxx

I was a master disciplinarian—my children often remind me.
I might have been quite extreme, much to my shame. But I think the kids understand the circumstances.

if children are to grow into sensible and successful adults then they need to learn that when adults, especially those close to them tell them to do something - like go to bed at their usual bedtime that if they defy these orders there will be an eual and euivalent penalty.

Other posters have suggested what you can do. Having told the children what will happen you must then, if necessary do it.

DD once told me that often when she was inclined to disobey, she obeyed because she knew if I told her what would happen if she didn't obey, she could be sure it would happen if she didn't obey and it was the knowledge that I would always do what I said that kept her well behaved.

Usually it’s only one or two nights.
When my grandchildren stayed and didn’t want to go to bed, ok. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Fallingstar

Would say - as my DD did when my GDs were 7/8 - ‘ok if you don’t want to go to bed I have some chores I need your help with.’
They suddenly became very eager to put on their PJs 😉

That’s brilliant!

I used to baby sit my friend's son who is autistic . I found the fail safe way to get him to do what I asked was to tell him " Mummy said 7 o'clock must be bedtime " and it always worked.

I turn tv , lights off downstairs and get into my PJs. Then they realise it’s bedtime( I'm ready for my bed at the same time as them!).

Would say - as my DD did when my GDs were 7/8 - ‘ok if you don’t want to go to bed I have some chores I need your help with.’
They suddenly became very eager to put on their PJs 😉

If they’re on a sleepover with you, I’d tell them I’d be taking them back home to mum and dad! That sorts my GC out pretty quickly.