Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Found out today, can't take it in

(22 Posts)
JaneyLovesSwimming Sun 17-May-26 21:23:53

My 25 year old son and girlfriend have today told me they are expecting their first baby - in September!! My head is spinning and I can't take it in.

They bought a tiny flat together last year, no chance of them moving anytime soon. GF was focusing on her career and has just started a PhD - they don't have a huge amount of money and had plans to get on a firmer financial footing before they thought about children.

We told them that we will do everything we can to help and support them (although we both still work fill time), GF plans to carry on studying and DS is in denial a bit I think.

Of course I didn't express any of my worries to them but the tiny flat, their financial situation, this is going to be tough. I love them both very much and I know people manage it in far more difficult circumstances, I am just in shock I think.

I am going to be a Grandma!!!

midgey Sun 17-May-26 21:28:58

Congratulations! flowers People manage.

Retread Sun 17-May-26 22:02:12

Congratulations 🥰! It will work out, Midgey is right, people manage. Do they live near you?

JaneJudge Sun 17-May-26 22:05:56

Congratulations ❤️❤️❤️

They sound sorted anyway xx 💋

The shock will wear off

BlueBelle Sun 17-May-26 22:37:42

Of course it will work out, they ll be fine
Congratulations

JamesandJon33 Mon 18-May-26 00:51:09

We were in exactly the same position as your son, 60 or so years ago. With a little help we managed, and to be quite honest , it was a very happy time. We are still together, but with two grown up children now.
Good luck to your son and his girlfriend. Things always work out,with a little love and support.
Congratulations you are going to be a grandma.

Grammaretto Mon 18-May-26 01:50:58

Congratulations!
I'm sure they will manage but are probably also in shock 🤩

We were sharing a rented flat until our first baby was almost a year old. I was still a student and only 20. Our families lived hundreds of miles away. We knew nobody with a baby and had to buy a book. 😂
We were together for over 50 years until he died.
Young love 💕

BlueBelle Mon 18-May-26 05:19:53

At one point in my life me and my three children were sleeping in the same double bed, two up, two down, in a flat with an old fashioned wooden toilet and separate bathroom on another floor
They are all three successful professionals and all my seven grandchildren are successful working in very good careers
Don’t worry

JaneyLovesSwimming Mon 18-May-26 07:01:18

Thanks all, yes they only live 10 minutes away so we will be able to help. I was 26 when my son was born and I had never even held a baby before. We had very little money either.

I get on well with my sons girlfriend, which is lovely, and I am quite prepared to help when I am asked without interfering. Exciting times ahead!

fancyflowers Mon 18-May-26 07:45:15

What great news, congratulations! Even if money is tight, I'm sure they will make it work. All babies need is love and attention, they're not interested in their surroundings.

J52 Mon 18-May-26 07:52:26

Congratulations on becoming grandparents, it’s a wonderful experience.
Were any of us really prepared for parenthood, financially or otherwise? You sound super supportive which is great.
On of our DSs became a father in his late 20s before he was really ready, but they both stepped up as parents and have fantastic well balanced children.
Just be there for them and it will all work out.

AGAA4 Mon 18-May-26 07:58:12

Many congratulations. Becoming a grandparent is very special. Don't worry about them. I was in that situation almost sixty years ago and we managed very well with a bit of help from parents.

Luckygirl3 Mon 18-May-26 08:07:02

First babies often arrive in what seem less than ideal circumstances ... I know mine did!
Just be pleased, enjoy and put any worries our of your mind. It will all work out for sure! They are intelligent people ... they will fine a way. And all your lives will be enhanced immeasurably...

Cossy Mon 18-May-26 08:13:00

Many congratulations, your DS and his gf will manage.

Back my 1997 I had a baby, single Mum. in one bedroomed flat (with a mortgage).
Baby and I managed, sharing a room, til he was 3 and I could afford to move.

They will manage flowers

NotSpaghetti Mon 18-May-26 09:01:58

They will be fine! Don't worry.
I hope she has an easy pregnancy and a straightforward and uncomplicated labour.

We lived in a one bed rented flat when we had our first born - hundreds of miles from parents and with no friends with babies.
I gave birth in the middle of my finals and everything was fine.
Our second baby was born in North America in a 2-bed rented whilst my husband was a postgraduate student.

They will be resourceful and the little one will bring such a lot to their lives.

Congratulations to you all.
flowers

keepcalmandcavachon Mon 18-May-26 09:08:16

Congratulations! I too am anticipating the stork visiting my daughter & her husband, isn't it just so exciting JaneyLovesSwimming , good luck to all our young couples sunshine

SpinDriftCoastal Mon 18-May-26 09:09:12

Congratulations! They are young and intelligent. They will work it out. Thousands of people have managed in the past and will do in the future. We lived in one room and had a 15% mortgage on an old house we were doing up.

Maremia Mon 18-May-26 10:41:16

Congratulations 🎊 💐 🥳
They will be great parents. You will be amazing GGs.

crazyH Mon 18-May-26 10:46:23

Congratulations to all 👶 🥳

Danab Thu 04-Jun-26 15:51:07

I too just found out my dtr who is in nursing school is expecting. She hasnt been with her boyfriend very long. They both just got out of longer term relationships. I was shocked but of course supportive. They are moving in together and time will tell. He is a great guy she just couldnt consider any other options. I pray it works out. Prayers!

Cossy Thu 04-Jun-26 16:36:50

I have some form of memory loss!! I was way back in 1985 when I was a 26 year old single mum!

ferry23 Thu 04-Jun-26 17:38:27

How lovely, congratulations!

If everyone waited until they could afford it, and they lived in the right place, and the circumstances were right - there wouldn't be many babies!

They'll manage, especially with caring Mum & Dad around smile