Birthday Party Blues

I’m very sad for you having experienced the same sense of exclusion. Our tactic has been to smile and say nothing, accepting another grandparent has wanted just ‘their’ family to be in their home. It’s kept the peace but yes, it hurts if I think about it.

Oh that is so sad - my heart aches for you. I can’t give you any advice as I am the ‘all guns blazing’ type of person and have got into a lot of trouble because of that.
Shelflife has given you good advice…..

I am heartbroken for you. Our elder DD and her DH have always included both sets of parents since the day they were married, and similarly since the GC came along. The other GPs do see more of them cos they live within walking distance and we are 30 miles away, but overall they do their best to share things with us all. Fortunately we get along well with the other GPs (so long as we don't mention politics cos ours are quite different from theirs!) and want to keep it that way.

You never know, as the GC get older you might find you have a closer bond with one or both of them, or a different bond depending on their hobbies, so you can make the most of that.

As others have said, keep stum as far as you can cos it seems it can soon go pear-shaped and I can tell that you wouldn't want that

Perhaps you could do a very small "unbirthday" day when you next have your grandson.
One little cupcake, one balloon, some music playing and maybe one tiny gift.
Be sure to take a photo, of course.

I'm so sorry to read this.That is so hurtful.I can't really offer any advice but do offer my sympathy.

I completely understand how you feel.
However I urge you to tread with care. So many GP. are at odds with their AC - please dont let that happen . You sound to be a very sensible woman and a wonderful GM . I agree it was mean , you should have been invited to the maternal GP home. However, don't let what happened damage your relationship with your son and DIL.

Oh, that must have hurt.
It's probably best to say nothing, though, I suppose.
Things have changed so much with regard to family life, it seems.

That's so sad and a bit mean in my opinion. I would have been a bit miffed myself.

Perhaps you could say to your son something along the lines of "Thanks for the photo, it looks like I missed a great time", and see what response you get.