Daughter not allowed to know new baby’s name until she visits him

Skye, I agree wth not reading all the posts.
My daughter is visiting today so I should hear later on. After all this dialogue I will certainly let you know the name of the baby. I take your point asking a direct question is probably the best thing.

Houseseller The trouble is that people often don’t read the whole thread, so even though you corrected the word ‘devastated’, people will only read your first post and react to that in their comment. (It doesn’t help that there is no option to see all the OP‘s posts as there is on Mumsnet. That’s quite a useful feature.)

Also, people might not be sure whether this is a trend, but they will know what they think about the word ‘devastated’ in this situation and will comment on that.

I’d be interested to hear how it went after your daughter visits. I expect others would too.

Houseseller

That’s ok I’m just getting fed up with all the negative comments, especially as my question “is this a trend” seems to be ignored in favour of “devastated”

But that is what happens when you open up a discussion on social media. It is sometimes advisable just to pose a closed question so you will get yes/no answers and people may relate similar incidents. Why not just scroll on by and enjoy the fact that you are a great grandmother and your daughter a grandmother and your granddaughter a mother - all roles to be cherished and worth far more than a bit of flack on GN. Enjoy!

That’s ok I’m just getting fed up with all the negative comments, especially as my question “is this a trend” seems to be ignored in favour of “devastated”

Houseseller, no offence intended. Apology if that is the case.

I think it's different and unusual. I'm not aware of it being a trend. I don't think I'd get upset about this one. I suspect it's either a special name that has sentimental meaning to granddaughter's mother and she wants to tell her in person. Or maybe she just wants to share face to face and see her mother's reaction? I'd just exercise patience over this one as it won't really change anything that matters.

Ha ha, yes go ahead, no rude ones please

Could we try guess the name?
Geoffrey
Gladys

Can't wait to find out and congratulations!

Shelf life, having said several times that I changed the devastate word to she is upset , it still appears people still home in on it. I have read numerous posts saying the same thing as you. Unfortunately I can’t delete the thread or I would. I’m being made out as something I’m not. Give it a rest please.

For goodness sake its not the end of the world! Your DD has a healthy beautiful GS! Your GD will have her reasons and is entitled to that. I hope your DD is able to turn this around and instead of being devastated enjoy the anticipation!!
Congratulations!!

Are those who have been told sworn to secrecy? Sounds very odd to me, but a trend? No. Though today’s mums like to do things their own way and set their own boundaries.

Do tell us, once you know. Or maybe your daughter will be sworn to secrecy too.

I would be sorely tempted to have a bit of fun myself and go completely over the top when told the name 😂
Enjoy the new family member

No I do not know the name of the baby, and no there is nothing going on with my Granddaughter , we get on very well.

Cressy, thank you for clarifying what I meant in my post.

But is it possible that everyone else has only been told once they had visited?

This was my assumption Cressy

For what it’s worth Houseseller I do think it’s a little ‘odd’ to refuse to tell her mother the baby’s name until she visits. But is it possible that everyone else has only been told once they had visited? If so I still think it’s a bit precious but that would be different to withholding the name to just you. There has to be more to this than either you or we know. I hope she gives you an explanation which you are happy with.

To everyone else on here who continues to point out her error , please try and read the whole thread. The OP realised quite early on that the word she used was a bit dramatic. The actual point of her post was to ask if this was a new trend.

Houseseller

Summer love, What are you talking about, the respect was in terms of the reply’s to my questions. Maybe you should take a look at your response to me. I would say your comment was disrespectful .

That was not made clear at all, I’d read your post a few times before I commented.

Disagreeing with someone is not disrespectful

There is definitely more to the story

Op, for your own sake, you need to let this go

This is between your daughter and your gd

There is nothing you can do

V3Rv, thank you for the link. There is no problem with my Granddaughter regarding bonding, and all the things that go with the birth of the baby. This is her third child. It’s just withholding the name of the baby from my daughter but telling others. My daughter will see her tomorrow so she will know the name. The situation just made my daughter feel left out and hurt. Nothing more than that

www.nct.org.uk/information/life-parent/support-change/helping-newborn-transition-life-outside-womb

Cossy this explains about the "fourth trimester" which sounds like what your niece was observing.
I'd heard of it before but had little understanding.
I found it a fascinating article 😊

Houseseller

The baby has been named and revealed to other members of her family . She is making her mother wait for some reason. Nothing strange about my daughter’s reaction I would feel the same. I suspect that many members on here would also feel the same.

Maybe a daft question, but do you know this baby’s name and if others do and your DD is so desperate to know, she could ask them?

Anyway, most important thing is that new Mum and baby are happy and healthy and congrats to you all

I really hate to say this, but it really does sound as if there’s more to this story?
Are you in touch with your GD?

Casdon

Rather than work herself up over this, why doesn’t your daughter just go sooner to see her daughter and grandson ratter than wait a few days? If she can’t take a day off work, two hours isn’t that far, it could be done there and back after work, assuming she drives?

Exactly what I was going to suggest.

This isn’t her baby or her choice, some young parents have what we might feel are “odd” ideas.

Our niece decided to “cocoon” with her baby, and baby’s dad.

All we (& every other relative and friend) received was a photo of baby’s foot, gender and his name.

We patiently waited and then were invited over to meet him once the three months had passed.

There are definitely new (or I would say different) trends surrounding the announcement of the birth of a baby. My DD asked me not to let anyone know that my grandchild had been born until she was home from hospital, had settled herself and baby and had announced it herself. It took her a while after coming home. That was her request and I respected her wishes. The only consequence that was a bit awkward was that some of my immediate family jumped to the conclusion that something had gone wrong or that the baby was unwell, as she had told them roughly when the baby was due. I just had to explain that my DD wanted to announce any news herself (including the name) and that I was following her lead.

I think it is understandable for your daughter to be upset that others have been told but she has not. It does seem very odd. I hope that when she sees her daughter and grandson things are sorted out between them and that they can all enjoy a positive way forward