Daughter says no visitors for three months

Well you can’t change the way someone behaves but it is hurtful.i wonder if she’s also worried about the baby picking up germs. I know this is a thing with new parents…Also as you say, if the inlaws are an issue perhaps she feels she wants to protect herself from their involvement too soon. In my experience, you are fairly helpless as a grandparent, even as a parent, and I’ve had to step back many times and not voice an opinion or get involved, and yet, we give our AC plenty of space and always have. If it was me, I’d wait and see if it becomes evident the baby has been born. If you have any contact with her, you’d surely know, and then get a welcoming gift to her, either by dropping it at the house or sending it. Show that you care in any way you can and try to swallow the heartache and disappointment…and maybe even concern. If she knows you’re there and supportive no matter what, she may well modify things and allow you to see the bay sooner than you think. I use the word allow because at the end of the day, I guess the parents have the last word….and that’s what makes it so hard.

Sensible advice above OP. Step back. Just keep friendly lines open. The occasional question of "all ok?".

Who knows how she will feel closer to the time. I have read probably on Mumsnet of how a birth plan is carefully written, but the plan is ditched once labout starts as your body takes no notice of a birth plan!

So maybe her strict boundaries will also disappear once the baby arrives.

But as everyone has said, respect her decision. Don't even discuss it. And remember by baby 2 she will want as much help as possible.

And a voucher for her chosen baby stuff provider. I have no grandchildren so can't really advise, but base my opinions on my reading of Mumsnet over the last 6 years!! Mumsnet and Gransnet provide a wide view of life today.

Silly and pretentious!
Stay away and get on with your life

I couldn’t wait for my family and friends to meet my babies.
Handed round for cuddles with lots of love that babies bring.

The granny bond is a very special relationship between the adult and the child. It develops over time and parents don’t own their children.
When both parents are working, grandparents can lift some of the pressure. Just wait for the little person to arrive and take it from there.

Her baby her rules. She may regret it and rescind but for now you have to accept it. My advice never give your opinion on this decision of her's.

Three months of solitude to bond with the baby is frankly ridiculous but it's her baby, her rules so you'll just have to suck it up with good grace. However, I'd be kind and generous towards her so that she feels she can reach out to you if life becomes difficult.

I’d be tempted to give her a year to ‘bond’.
Such silly nonsense.

I second what karmalady has said. Your daughter is clearly stressed and as all new moms wants to do everything right. There is so much information around about what that entails. Sit back, agree with her and wait. Reality will soon set in when the baby is born.

Leave her to it, she is being ridiculous but as above, her child and her decision. Keep the distance and wait to be asked, each and every time, in the meantime just go about your normal life

She should relax when she realises that you are not intrusive and will not call on her without invitation.

Start from a detached point of view eg no knitting of small things, no buying baby clothes, just give them a money present to buy something for baby. Slowly she will see that she is being left alone and that will hopefully trigger her into calling on you to help

She wants detached, give her detached

Regardless of where she got the information you have to respect her decision.

Nothing you can do, but I think it’s truly awful and selfish,
Nans and grandads are needed in a baby’s life.
Thankfully all mine were only to pleased to include me and accept help, and indeed I was privileged to help out a lot.

It’s pretentious nonsense you bond with your baby whether anyone else is around or not.
Who knows she might need you especially if she has a colicky baby like my first one was.