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depressed and sad

(14 Posts)
cheapy66 Sun 08-Sep-19 01:00:22

Over the summer, my single mom daughter and granddaughter moved from NY to Las Vegas. My daughter cited many reasons: a fresh start, God was calling her there and mostly, she was disgusted with her job and felt she deserved one with better pay as she'd just Gotten her MBA. We’re going to see each other monthly, but even that isn’t giving me peace. I cry daily, as I used to do something fun with Ang every Saturday and will now see her once a month instead. Please advise.

Oasthouse Sun 08-Sep-19 01:32:42

Don't be sad, life constantly changes. My beautiful daughter boarded a plane for Florida 4 years ago and I haven't seen or heard from her since, I believe via a third party that she's now having a wonderful life in New Zealand. I was very sad for ages until I made myself stop and begun living my life the way I want to on my terms doing what I like doing when I want too. I'm now much stronger and resilient xx

Lyndiloo Sun 08-Sep-19 02:00:37

So sorry to hear this, but there is little you can do about it. At least you will be seeing her and your granddaughter once a month, and you can 'phone or Skype regularly. Sadly, we have to let our children go.

If she settles in Las Vegas and is happier there, then you should be happy for her.

Don't be so sad about it. Give her your support. You don't know what the future holds for you. She may not like Vegas and return to New York ...? You might move to Las Vegas ...?

Give it a couple of years, and see how you feel then. Get out and about with friends, which may make you miss them a little less.

Oasthouse's post should make you see how lucky you are! (Sorry for your predicament, Oasthouse, but glad that you are getting on with your life.)

annep1 Sun 08-Sep-19 02:47:46

I know how you are feel cheapy66. I will always be sad that my children don't live close. I rarely see them or my gc and my daughter won't do skype. But I've adjusted although I do shed a tear now and again.
You've just got to get on with your own life and the pain will ease.

Oasthouse I'm so sorry about you not ever hearing from your daughter. That is so hard.

annep1 Sun 08-Sep-19 02:49:42

feel feeling

rosecarmel Sun 08-Sep-19 03:26:47

It's normal to feel sad considering your circumstance, cheapy- I'm in a bit of a similar space at the moment with one of my sons- But it's nothing new, when situations change I've always gone thru periods of acclimation, some taking longer than others-

Oasthouse Sun 08-Sep-19 03:36:31

Well said Rosecarmel....

Willow500 Sun 08-Sep-19 07:25:27

My MIL told me when I got married that our children are only loaned to us and we have to let them go when the time comes. Yes you will miss your daughter and GD and for a time it will feel like it's taken over your whole life but you will get used to it and you will be seeing them on a monthly basis which is great. Are you able to Skype or FaceTime them so you can share their excitement at their new life? As someone said they may not stay there but you can't live life hoping that will happen so just be happy they are starting out on a new road and find things to fill yours.

sodapop Sun 08-Sep-19 08:02:36

Sorry you feel so sad cheapy66 but make the most of your monthly visits and be happy your daughter is getting on with her life. Look at new things to do yourself don't waste time, enjoy your own life as well.

That is hard oasthouse you must have struggled with that. Good to hear you are coping and making the most of your life.

EllanVannin Sun 08-Sep-19 10:30:45

My eldest D and family are in Oz so I know how difficult it is to come to terms with the sheer distance between you and their initial move there in 1980 caved my world in.

However through working hard and saving I was fortunate to make a few journey's over the years, getting to know GC and generally keeping up with their way of life, which is brilliant and it helped settle the worry whether they were all alright.

This year, D and SiL visited the UK but deep down to me it was a bittersweet time and I couldn't get out of my mind that it could be the last time I'll see them, ever. I don't envisage any more trips out there because of my health and they themselves are nearing their 60's and this break must have cost them as they had a holiday in Greece while here.

I daren't dwell on this too much as I could easily start going into a decline but it's a horrible feeling not to see your family, though I do understand that it's their lives, but not to see them at all must be your worst nightmare, Oasthouse as only time will help heal your sadness. You will feel better as the years go by.

Nanny1958 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:11:18

Hi just wanted some advice I have 3 children and 7 grandchildren my son has the 3. He only ever phones me when he wants a babysitter. Every weekend for a year I helped him renovate his house as I live on my own. I’m 62 but 10 weeks ago I had a operation and he has come to see me twice only because if wife was working and he couldn’t cope with the children on his own as they are all under 5. I feel hurt as I feel it all his way. He text me the other day to babysit and replied no I can’t. I don’t usually answer like this I explain in detail. His reply was ok. I thought he might have rung me to see if I was ok but nothing now for two weeks. I feel guilty all the time and don’t know what to do. I know if I mentioned I feel let down he will fall out with me. I just wish he would have a bit of compassion sometimes I can’t walk as had a knee opp just thought he might for once how I am. Instead of just asking to babysit

Hetty58 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:15:39

Don't focus on what you've lost. Instead, look forward to new possibilities. There are options to meet halfway, maybe stay weekends or take short breaks together. Skype is fun too!

silverlining48 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:18:48

Hello Nanny58 . You might want to post this on a new thread rather than this old one, where you Will get more response. I am sorry you feel as you do, there are many on here who will understand.

Smileless2012 Tue 04-Feb-20 12:19:54

Nanny no wonder you're feeling hurt. Please don't feel guilty, we want to be GP's don't we, not unpaid and unappreciated baby sitters.

You did the right thing saying you couldn't have the children, and as he knows you've had a knee operation and your mobility is compromised, he doesn't need an explanation as the reason is self evident.

I hope you hear from him soon and that when you do it's because he's checking you're OK and not looking for a baby sitter.

Take careflowers.