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Meeting the other grandparents.

(68 Posts)
Begaa23 Mon 02-Aug-21 23:32:46

Just wondering how many of you have never met the other set of grandparents and have no plans on meeting them ?

hilz Fri 06-Aug-21 10:49:49

My daughter in laws Mum became one of my closes friends even before grandchildren.. We are spookily similar with our views and tolerence levels. We have days out together. We share our family events. But we also have our own time with the grandchildren. My son in laws parents are polite when we meet but remain distant. I guess we are all different.

Magrithea Fri 06-Aug-21 10:23:37

We've not seen our DGC's 'other' grandparents for about 8 years. We have little in common and they have never been inclined to keep in touch with us. DD and DSiL don't see much of them either!

Elvis58 Fri 06-Aug-21 07:58:19

Meet the other grandmother of my grandson. Unfortunately they are all dead now.So just us left.

Keffie12 Thu 05-Aug-21 19:12:03

Yes and get on very well with them all. We spend Christmas day with my eldest son inlaws as they have a big house.

Both my DiL mom and I are widowed 3 years and 2 years ago, when we were both young (50s). Even though we got together before we were widowed at Christmas it makes perfect sense.

I find the question odd as I would presume you would have met them before becoming grandparents. Though I suppose I'm thinking if they got married

Having said that my 2nd son and ex DiL never married and we knew DiL parents before they had their son. They don't live locally either

Just my thoughts on

ninathenana Thu 05-Aug-21 17:06:38

Have only met the other GPs a handful of times in 15 yrs and one of those was at the wedding ? DD and GC father are in process of getting divorced but his family have never shown interest in mingling with ours.

Chinesecrested Thu 05-Aug-21 16:18:03

I live with the other grandmother, purely for convenience

jct1 Wed 04-Aug-21 19:38:01

The other grandparents only live two streets away. Although they are always polite when we see them out and about, we have only been inside their house once in the 20 years of their daughter being our son's partner. They obviously think they have nothing in common with us (apart from our gorgeous granddaughter!) and don't want to be considered as family. I do find this peculiar and hurtful but after so many years of failed attempts at getting closer, I realise we just have to accept its not what they want. Sad.

Happysexagenarian Wed 04-Aug-21 19:28:29

We're very good friends with two of the three sets of grandparents. We exchange cards & gifts for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas, occasional phone calls, they visit when they can. We have met the third set of GPs but don't keep in contact with them as our DIL would definitely disapprove - very long story.

Tabbycat Wed 04-Aug-21 19:06:48

My son-in-law is American and my youngest daughter moved there just before they were married. I met my son-in-law's parents before the wedding when they came to England on holiday.
The next time we met was at the wedding in America; they introduced us to their large extended family and made us feel so welcome. We met again the next time we visited our daughter in Washington - they drove down from Ohio especially to see us.
When our grandson was born we went to stay and help for the first two weeks and then the other set of grandparents took over for the next two weeks. Since COVID struck we've only exchanged birthday and Christmas cards and spoken on Skype a few times, but it is difficult to maintain a relationship at such a distance. I also don't feel we have a lot in common - they are both Trump supporters! shock

My oldest daughter lives with her boyfriend and he has a very strange family. I've only met his mother and stepfather once when we were invited to a party at their home. He doesn't speak to his birth father, so we haven't met him yet. He has a twin brother, who is rude and obnoxious, taking great delight in upsetting as many people as possible at this party, especially his mother. There was also a grandmother, who made everyones life a misery when she came to stay, so much so that my daughter has never been invited to spend Christmas with her 'in-laws'. So she and her boyfriend have always come to us.

ALANaV Wed 04-Aug-21 18:34:02

NO ,,,since my daughter cut me out of her life (for what reason I cannot find out !) her mother in law (the other G.P.) puts photos of things related to the grandchildren on Facebook ....but I know where she is as I did some research and still send cards on her birthday, Christmas, etc ...........although sadly since I have never been officially informed of the (at least one) grandchild I cannot send anything for him/them .......would like to see them just the once ...........

Rileysnana Wed 04-Aug-21 16:46:09

I've met one set once but schedules mean don't see them. We all work shifts and they mean we don't see each other. Wouldn't really go out of my way though to meet up. Have never met my other grandsons. Not sure I really want to. They are divorced and from what I've heard they don't get on. Relationship with step mum sounds iffy in the past. I've had enough problems in the past don't really want to get involved in other people's troubles.

Craftycat Wed 04-Aug-21 16:33:15

Yes we have. One set are really nice & we get on very well. The others are OK - he is very nice but she is a bit over bearing. When the grandchildren arrived she was all over them- wanting to always be the one who held them etc. I just let her get on with it as I knew I would see just as much of the DGC as she did in the long run. Sure enough it was us they wanted to stay with when they got old enough to choose who to stay with. She has 2 other daughters so has plenty of DGC now anyway.

GreenGran78 Wed 04-Aug-21 16:10:49

We have three sets. DD1 is divorced, but we see the in-laws occasionally., and meet up with the Ex when we go to Australia.The in-laws think that the sun shines out of their DS, and we know that they think that the break-up was all our DD’s fault, but we get along ok.
DD2 lives in Australia, and her DH is Peruvian. We all stayed with the ‘children’ for 2 months when they got married. The in-laws speak only Spanish, but we got on well, and coped with the language difficulties. I doubt that we will have the chance to meet again, but keep in Facebook contact.
DS 3 also lives in Oz. I spend a lot of time with the whole family of in-laws when I go for 3 month stays, and have a very good relationship with them
I met DS1’s FIL a few times, before he died, and liked him.
My children have all got along well with their in-laws, for which I am truly grateful.

4allweknow Wed 04-Aug-21 16:10:05

Have two DGC, and have met both sets of grandparents. Good relationships.

JackyB Wed 04-Aug-21 15:44:34

I feel quite guilty as we have no problems at all. One set live nearby and we often have to hand over one DGS or the other and always have a chat. Until lockdown we all went out together at least once a year to a concert or something that wouldn't have been to the taste of our children.

The other set of in-laws we are also fine with. They were going to visit us before lockdown put a stop to that. That Dil's mother has remarried but her dad and stepdad get on fine and sat next to each other and were chatting amiably at the wedding and on other family occasions since.

I have led a very sheltered life I suppose as I have never experienced any animosity within the family.

Petalpop Wed 04-Aug-21 15:42:39

We meet up with both grandparents but they are divorced so not as a single unit. Other Grandmother lives in Spain but comes to stay with my GC and family when she is over. She is easy going so nothing to dislike. Granddad lives in the next town with his new wife and we only see them occasionally but no problems there. I must admit as a family unit we are quite easy going. My GD just takes in her stride that she has three grandmothers plus two aunties that are a couple (as opposed to a man and a woman). They are born in a modern age.

Amandajs66 Wed 04-Aug-21 15:30:56

met

Amandajs66 Wed 04-Aug-21 15:30:30

We have meet the other Grandparents a couple of times but haven’t seen them for the last 10+ years.
My SIL and daughter don’t really get on with them. You can’t choose your family.
It’s sad as the other grandparents have only seen their GD’s a handful of times, I see them every week and feel like the other GP are missing out.

jocork Wed 04-Aug-21 15:04:59

When my DS was first dating his wife he was invited to spend New Year with her family, who invited me too when they realised I would otherwise be on my own. It was a big very close family so I met her parents and many of her aunts and uncles on her mother's side and her granny. They are all lovely and I've spent time with them occasionally since. We live quite a long way apart so mostly only see them on 'occasions' but we have a lot in common and would probably see more of each other if we lived closer. In the week before their wedding I stayed in the future marital home with DiL's parents as we were all busy preparing for the big day and DS and DiL were still living in their separate shared houses with friends. I got to know them really well and we all get on pretty well.

However my ex husband has only met them twice - at the wedding and once when DGS was newborn. We will all be meeting up in September as DGS is being baptised while DS and DiL are in the UK for the summer, as they normally live in Germany at present. I consider myself very fortunate to have such a good relationship with my DiL and her family - I feel closer to some of them than some members of my own family with whom I'm not close.

DS and DiL are currently on holiday with her family, then are going away with me before our big get-together in September. My DS is lucky with his in-laws and I see them as family too!

1summer Wed 04-Aug-21 14:59:42

We are very close to my SILs Mum ( he doesn’t have any contact with his Dad) and as we are very close to our daughter since our granddaughter was born I have made a great effort to make sure Sils Mum doesn’t feel left out. We share childcare 3 days a week and very much support each other. She joins in all our family occasions including family holidays. We feel very lucky.

Yammy Wed 04-Aug-21 14:58:25

I met and phoned and got on well with one Mil and her partner we helped to coordinate the wedding plans of our children, the colour scheme for the wedding guests, she gave me the first choice as I was the mother of the bride, flowers etc unfortunately she died.
I have never met one FIL.
I have met the other set on a few occasions but they obviously are not interested in being in touch. Cordial greetings are sent at Christmas. Coordination about the wedding would have been helpful as we live hundreds of miles apart. My BIL at the wedding said the colours we wore made us look as if we were fighting the battle of Tobruk, MIL as Rommel in Khaki me as Monty in full Camouflage.

Shazmo24 Wed 04-Aug-21 14:42:53

The other grandparents to our daughter & sil's children live inthe same town and we only met up for birthdays But as kids are now older we hardly see each other despite them living next door to said daughter. We just dont have anything in common with them. We don't even exchange christmas cards

Theoddbird Wed 04-Aug-21 14:16:40

I didn't meet my daughter in laws parents until the day she married my son. I have met my grand children's other grandparents.

Kartush Wed 04-Aug-21 14:04:33

I have met the other grandparents, unfortunately my daughter in laws mother passed away but we are still friendly with her father. My youngest daughters ex partners father died when he was a child, we have met his mother but do not see her any more.

Aepgirl Wed 04-Aug-21 13:53:55

I have met my grandson’s ‘other’ grandparents. Grandfather, who was lovely, has sadly died. Grandmother was a person I wouldn’t want to pick an argument with. She and her new husband (a ‘weird’ man) have recently moved to France, so rarely see our grandson.

My grandson has never met his other grandfather (my ex-husband).