Older age

I think grandetante has said above most of what I wanted to say, especially about wills, PoA and financial planning.
But don't plan too much because life throws curve balls you never could expect. If there's something you really want to do and it's remotely do-able then carpe diem and just do it. Many of us here know only too well that there may not be another day to seize.
But, to quote my late husband's mantra for living, "there's no point in worrying." Just grab your life with both hands and live it!

fancythat
I understand completely how you feel as I have a similar concern mainly because I lost my mother recently and it's set me thinking about my future.

I feel too young to be retired but I do get tired so getting a balance can be challenging.

Pascal
That’s the story of our lives.
Shan we first got together 45 years ago I was living in a rented flat.
We took a trip to a boatyard in Essex where we saw a houseboat up for sale. We bought it. Why wouldn’t you 😂

grandtante
We did the French canals and rivers motoring down to Sete and then back to the uk.
We only did it for a year as we were both still working but took a year off.
We have done the journey twice since then but crewing for other people.

I do feel at some point, I will need to stop most of the navel gazing!

I think sometimes navel gazing is necessary to help you understand what it is you actually want/need. Sounds like exactly what you are going through.

petra

Nothing taboo talking about death. Me and my daughter were discussing ( and having a laugh) about what we were going to leave each other. If I go before her she wants my Bernina sewing machine and if she goes before me I want her full size complete with legs tailors dummy.
We have never planned a thing. Too many exciting opportunities to grab if don’t have that list.

When I was 60 we went on holiday. A couple we were with went to look at a property, we went with them. They didn’t like it ( too much work needed) we loved it and bought it.
Came home, put one property up for sale.
3 months later we were on the ferry. All the furniture etc we wanted was on a lorry.

Gosh.. I so admire that..

Nothing taboo talking about death. Me and my daughter were discussing ( and having a laugh) about what we were going to leave each other. If I go before her she wants my Bernina sewing machine and if she goes before me I want her full size complete with legs tailors dummy.
We have never planned a thing. Too many exciting opportunities to grab if don’t have that list.

When I was 60 we went on holiday. A couple we were with went to look at a property, we went with them. They didn’t like it ( too much work needed) we loved it and bought it.
Came home, put one property up for sale.
3 months later we were on the ferry. All the furniture etc we wanted was on a lorry.

fancythat Thanks, been put on a waiting list for something that could improve the quality of my life but it's an 8 month wait. I'm nearly 76 so I'm seriously considering seeing if I can get it done privately. Money in the bank etc is no use when I'm dead and I know both my daughters would want me to use it to improve the quality of my life. This is what I mean when I said "dealing with things as they arise"
I hope you've found the posts to your thread helpful. I retired aged 65 and decided I would try to have something, however small or trivial, that I was looking forward to doing each day. It's got harder to do that this year but that's still my aim.

AGAA4 Sorry for your loss.

I do feel at some point, I will need to stop most of the navel gazing!

I wrote that before reading your post annsixty.
Good for you, what you manage to do.

I see virtually nothing because, and I am only realising some of all this, because of what people have written on here.

1. No idea if we will still be in same house in 10 years time. I used to think it was a bit of a given.
See above for some reasons why,

2. finances. They have been up and down in the past. I dont see that changing immediately in the future. Again, see above.

3. The kids keep moving around. We did used to think they may have all settled down, as regards geography, but far from it I think.

It is not really a case of something like hobbies. Or trips out.
Though I do need to get fitter.

I am late 80’s , in spite of a difficult family situation I am making the most of life while I can.
I was out for a meal last night and shall be doing the same tonight.
On Wednesday I shall be going to stay with an old friend for four days , by train with a change mid journey.
I shall use assistance which is a wonderful service for the older traveller.
Use it or lose it.
My glass is mostly half full.

I'm not far off 80 and don't plan beyond a few weeks ahead. My DH wasted a lot of time thinking about the future and making plans. Sadly there wasn't much future left for him as he died aged 51.
I take each day as it comes and just enjoy now.

I intended to work until I was 75 but actually retired at 73.

Looking back I was very career minded, and energetic in my 50s and 60s but I did begin to slow down after 70. Fortunately by that time I was self employed and could work less if I felt like it.

Now I can hardly imagine having the energy to do all that I used to pack into a day, but I still feel a bit of a slacker!

fancypants Why do you look ahead and see nothing? You are not chained to the hip of your DH. I presume you did not work together in the same office and no doubt you built a career for yourself seperate from your DH.

Why did you not think ahead and plan for all the things you would do in retirement on your own? Or did you always plan a retirement doing everything together.

My DH worked on into retirement and that post-retirement work has given him the happiest years of his work life. He is an independent consulting engineer and can choose what work he wants to do and when not to. He is 80 now and working still, much less, and all desk based. He no longer makes site visits. But I have always had my own independent life and interests and could go into retirement with those and I have had an active and useful time.

I did actually plan for my retirement, but my plans always had flexibility written in.

I'm fast approaching 69. I've always hated excessive planning. I think I'm actually incapable of doing it.

I do recognise the need to have some plans in place now for if something was to happen to either of us - wills, financials, etc - but beyond that and what happens next week I won't go.

M0nica

fancythat

M0nica

fancythat If you are such a planner, why haven't you already got a plan for your retirement?

Because DH keeps changing things!

But isn't change inherent in life. haven't you always had to chop and change plans to meet the unexpected. What is different now?

As I said upthread, my life went more or less exactly according to plan.
I realise I was unusual in that.
I sort of envisaged it in 30 year parts.

I look at a potential of the next 20 or 30 years, and I see virutally nothing.
Maybe there wont be that amount of time. Maybe something big is around the corner.

You are right, none of us know how much longer we will live, and as time passes we do tend to become more aware of this.

I am 72, so here is some hints based on what has happened in my life in the ten or so years I am ahead of you.

Discuss, if this is at all possible with your husband now, whilst you are both well.(You are, and I hope he is too, )what kind of funerals you want, whether you want to be kept alive as long as possible, if you are willing or not to denote organs after death.

Make or revise your wills - both of you.

Make provisional power of attorney for you both, so some younger person will accept responsiblity for your welfare if either of you should be unable to decide for yourself at a later date.

A pre-paid funeral plan is a good idea too.

Then the more joyful aspects of retirement:
DO the things you have dreamt of through the years, if they are at all possible.

We sold up, bought a boat and sailed the canals and rivers of Europe for three years (DH's dream) when he was 57 and I 61, then bought our present house,. And I am so thankful that we did as last year, ten year's after fulfilling my husband's dream, he is in his grave - something thankfully, neither of us had thought likely in 2013.

So don't put off til tomorrow, what you can do today. I hope and trust that you both have much longer than ten years ahead of you, but as you yourself say, we do not know that.

Don't worry unnecessarily, or let gloomy thoughts dominate - enjoy this time of your life!

Nansnet

I never really thought about 'getting older' until recently. We've just plodded along, enjoying life as best we can, up until now. We had plans for DH to retire in 18 months - 2 years time, but recent circumstances mean that it looks like he'll be retiring sooner rather than later.

Whilst looking forward to him retiring, and finally having a life of his (our) own, outside of the demanding, stressful job he has been doing for the last 44 years, we are both beginning to feel rather anxious about our future and what lies ahead for us.

Probably, our main concerns are to do with finances, and not knowing how long we're going to be around for! We're concerned about whether we'll have enough money put by to live on, particularly if we live well into our 80s or 90s!

However, having fairly recently lost some friends who were around the same age as ourselves, it's kind of put things into perspective, and I see no point in worrying too much about the long term future. I've now got the attitude that whatever will be, will be. One way, or another, within our means, we'll manage, and I fully intend for us to enjoy our retirement as best as we possibly can! Bring it on!

This is pretty much where we are at too.
All 4 paragraphs.

The more I am on this thread, the more I am realising that finances are part the issue, a bigger part than I thought.

We have/had a business with all that entails. Sold off parts.
We dont have a private pension at all, except a very small one.

Our finances could go any which way, quite honestly, in the next few years.

fancythat

Sorry for those who lose people young.

Maybe it is all a bit taboo for a social media forum.
I can ask for the thread to be deleted?

I don't think you should, fancythat. People have different lives and different points of view.

As I said, I am starting to realise that we won't go on forever. That doesn't mean that I feel old, or that I plan on giving up on life - I don't think anyone said that. 65 isn't even retirement age.

fancythat

M0nica

fancythat If you are such a planner, why haven't you already got a plan for your retirement?

Because DH keeps changing things!

But isn't change inherent in life. haven't you always had to chop and change plans to meet the unexpected. What is different now?

He is also a risk taker.[not gambling thankfully].
His original job was a bit of a dangerous one.
He retired. Came out of retirement.
His current job, it still a risky one in some respects.
When he tells people what he does now, most say that that is the last job they would do.

M0nica

fancythat If you are such a planner, why haven't you already got a plan for your retirement?

Because DH keeps changing things!

foxie48 - sorry things have taken a turn for the worse. I hope it improves.

pascal30 - yes, my DH returning to work, although good really I think, has made me feel more unstable in general. I dont know what he will think, or want to do next.
and henetha. Money/finances. I hope you get your attendance allowance.
I think until we personally get to the state pension age[if there is still to be one then] then our finances are a bit topsy turvy. That doesnt help.

twinnytwin - odd you should say that.
I had to have some physio lately. When I was signed off, I asked her what I should watch out for in future. She said, try not to have any falls.

fancythat If you are such a planner, why haven't you already got a plan for your retirement?